Week 5 or "Oh How the mighty have fallen"

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

     DFUN Goes down! The undefeated season is over. Somewhere, the 1972 Dolphins are drinking a toast to the Commish’s demise. DSVP 116 DFUN 100. Without D Martin’s (this guy still plays football?) 33 and Eli’s slobber covered 28pt outburst, this would have gotten UGLY!  DSVP rode the Patriots RB, WR and D for 45 and 21 from Antonio Gates, back from suspension (great pickup!).  Clearly this is the end of DFUN’s failed attempt at making the playoffs. Vegas odds have them going 0-7 to finish another sad, sad season. DSVP rebounded from an 0-3 start to be in a 4 way tie for first (what a bullshit division!!) at 2-3. I’m personally voting for league contraction. Lot of dead weight in the West (Capt, we are looking at you).

     GRID 100 over PIGG 49. Not a mistype. 49. All positions filled. No injuries. 49 points
     Another beat down, LO RIDES her black stallion Freeman to another victory over TSMYTDs 103-63.  Brady 25, Demarco Murray 17 (equaling his SEASON total) and a poor Julio Jones day, 11pt brought another W to LO.  TSMYTD’S just didn’t show up. 11 from Foster, Sanders and the resurgent Fitz. No double digits from anyone else. Will TSMYTD’S call it quits? Will he fight back against the horribly weak West division? Will any team in that dumpster-fire division reach .500? We shall see. (Vegas side note to follow)

     Finally, the highest score of the week…….the second win in a row……..the 29th straight victory over TBIAC and his former team name (he thought a name change would change his luck)…..and a tie for first place in the West……(cue wheels screeching followed by car crash noise).  Cats destroy TBIAC 133-107. Both teams 2-3. TBIAC in tie for first place. Cats in fourth in East. WTF!!!!!  Waiver wire magic, as usual, by the Cats, sealed the deal.  Barnidge 19 and Packers 22 along with Bell’s mediocre day of 18pt and a K with 13 was just too much for the absolute best game TBIAC could possibly expect from his group of losers.  Some have compared TBIAC team to Lamar Odom. Stats look good, potential looks good……married a Kardashian……….fucked over the Mavs………went to a brothel……..now in intensive care from too much organic Viagra. (OK, not real sure about this comparison.  GRID sent all the corroborating evidence to the Editor-In-Cheif of this blog. From what I’ve seen it’s only a couple of pics of Kourtney K and twenty empty bottles of EXTENZE.  But the boss says write it, so I write it).
     The Pulizter prize nominated writer of this blog was recently in Vegas and had a “sit-down” with the official sports book prognosticator.  These are his findings……   PIGG will start a complete roster of nothing but backup players resulting in the lowest score in league history.  LO, majestically seated upon her ebony mount (Freeman,) will make the playoffs and lose in the first round when the league realizes he (Freeman) is not human and suspends him.  TSMYTD’S will take his “NFL All-Pro Team 2012” all the way to the Title. (as stated many times prior, the FFL Gods are fickle).  Cats will trade his entire team by the end of the season. Will talk about it for the next twenty years to anyone who will/or won’t, listen.  GRID will disappear. That’s it. He’ll just not respond anymore.  DSVP, in the weak-ass West Division, will continue to be third.  TBIAC will be sent to Huntsville after his attempted murder of the Cats owner following his 74th straight loss to the “Lil d”.  DFUN will make his own league. Consisting of DFUN and no one else……. He will find a way to lose……..

Week 4 or "I’m kind of a big deal"- Ron "DFUN" Burgundy

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

So week 4 has come and gone and with it came the shocking upsets, injuries and big wins we are used to seeing. 2 favorites won, 2 got smacked down.  Everyone has a win and only one has NO losses. Lots of waiver wire action as teams twist and tweek their lineups.  Some teams (GRID) failed to recognize excellent trade offers. Injuries have started to take their toll along with the hated bye weeks! Depth will be playing a very large part for the rest of the season. So, for some, go find that next piece to build your bench. For the others who don’t have a bench to start with…. your screwed (Grid, PIGG)!!

     DFUN 84-78 over TBIAC in a huge upset.  The Capt was a 24pt favorite to start the day but ends up falling to 2-2.  Palmer and Forte were the only two starters to actually not suck. Luckily for DFUN,  Spillers 16 and Hillmans 16 combined with Bradfords 23 (yup, can’t actually believe I’m writing this. Sam Bradford was not the worst player in the league Sunday) on the bench was the end for TBIAC.  The Commish and trade-rape Jones (9 pts) win again. That’s 4-0 for those who aren’t paying attention. Taco.  Fiery Ginger Dalton got 17, AP 15 and no jail time this week, some dude named Charles Clay 11 and GRID castoff Crowell 12.  FFL Luck WILL catch up with DFUN…….I hope.  TBIAC is in the middle of the pack right now.  Maybe a big trade could change that?   Or maybe he is just gonna sit and wait for Big Ben to comeback and make his team relevant again. Guess we shall see.
     GRID was a 13 pt fav over winless Pugs. Final… DSVP 81 GRID 52!!! First, despite their scores, they both fielded a full team of active, not good, players. Nothing to note in this game, see the score, except the exceptional lack of talent on the defending champs team. No running game at all with Beast-mode still in Bitch-mode, ODB getting roughed up by every D he sees (I smell an injury coming) and no bench to speak of.  Gronk is the only bright spot until he breaks his forearm or forgets to go the game (he is STUPID, like Eli Manning mouth-breather stupid) and Hopkins who has to catch ugly ducks tossed by Mallett or Hoyer. Good luck with that! GRID may have to start making moves or risk losing the trophy that his team of FFL experts fought so hard for him to “win” last year.

DSVP 1-3 now and still searching for the “right” lineup. Nothing great on bench but all are usable (Brees, Edelman, Ellington, Gates, Blount) if they get hot or others get hurt.

(Above photo and caption provided by TBIAC.  The publisher of this blog does not agree or disagree with TBIAC’s opinions and denies any part of this mean-spirited meme)

    LO 80-67 over PIGG. ESPN actually got this point spread correct! Crazy!! LO on a two game winning streak while the “Yankee” is on a win loss win loss pattern.  L0 left some points on the bench but didn’t need them. PIGG  left V Jax’s 20 sitting and Raaawwwddddjjjjaaasss let his team down, only scoring 15 (I’d trade him away) and the old man S Smith got injured early on.  LO got another ridiculous day from Freeman, 32, and no one else.  May be a good time for her to build up her team in a mutually beneficial trade!!

    And NOW THE FAMILY FUED!! Cats owner Holamon vs TSMYTDs owner T Holamon. Cats were 4 pt favs to start and 43 pt winners at the end. Hola has some bright spots with Arian Foster coming back and Fitz playing well.  Bench is beat up pretty good with Luck, McCoy and Bell. Cats on the other hand scored 157 (loss) last week and was high score this week with 96. Cats bench…. Despite Adams being out……… Out scored everyone…..everyone….. Including the Cats starters.  The Cats GM is awaiting your calls.

      One quarter through our FFL season and it’s time to look at the numbers and see who is for real and who is on borrowed time.
EAST
DFUN     4-0   PF-367 (least)      PA-327 (least)
LO           2-2   PF-437 (most)     PA-461  (most)
GRID.      2-2   PF-395 (2nd)      PA-352 (2nd least)
CATS.      1-3   PF-378 (3rd).     PA-404 (2nd most)

WEST
TBIAC.      2-2   PF-404 (most).   PA-349 (least)
PIGG.         2-2.  PF-378 (2nd).     PA-365 (2nd most)
TSMYTDs. 2-2.  PF-355 (3rd).     PA-414 (most)
DSVP.         1-3.  PF-316 (least).   PA-358 (2nd least)

LO is the bad luck winner for the first four while DFUN is by far the “lucky bastard” with the least points scored and least scored against him and 4-0!

   Week 5 will clarify everything. Guaranteed. Just like ESPN projections.

Guatanteed!

Week 3 or "sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains-Bull Durham"

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

     Two close games  and two beat downs.  Things happened in week 3 that could only be explained by angry FFL Gods or just the “end of times” are nigh.  A backup nobody RB (Freeman) goes for 37, a has-been (C2K) scores twice, a millionaire cologne/underwear thief (Randle) steals 27 and an old old man (S. Smith) hits 30!  J Charles gets held down by his head coach (moron Andy Reid), Big Ben went down with a knee injury, trade-rape (J. Jones) hits 19, and the “Beast-mode” goes “Bitch-mode” with 1. This reporter is not sure if anything cleared up this week or if this thing is still up in the air (being 0-3, I believe it’s still up in the air).

    The Beatdowns-
     TBIAC 110- 84 DSVP.  Penner drops to 0-3 behind CJ Anderson’s continued decline and J Maclin on the pine with 20 (though in his defense, a KC WR catching a TD hadn’t happened in 18 games under the drunk bus-driver of a QB A Smith).  The Capt obviously has been reading the blog and finally benched S Bradford (now trade me A Brown) for the ageless wonder C Palmer 18 (good luck with him being healthy, he wears a Life-Alert bracelet). 20 from Gore and a monster 28pt game from R Cobb finished off the the winless bitches……sorry….. Pugs.
     PIGG destroys TSMYTDs, 148-88.  Luck goes for 16 (a great game for him this season) and Fitz with 25 was all the TSMYTD’S coach gave his team this week.  Cam Newton 25 and Ingram 15 on the bench wouldn’t have helped under the PIG-NADO storm of the century!  Raaaawwwwwddddjjjjaaaaasss hits 34, Randle shoplifted 27, (good luck on that happening again), and the age-less wonder S Smith 30. B Marshall 14, K with 16 and D Thomas at 13 made this matchup look like it happened on Mason Vergers farm. (clue- Hannibal Lecter) not pretty!
      Ceiling Cats get starter-raped by the KC Chiefs and the collusion of our “commish” (we need to vote on this position soon. Seriously, he is a menace).  After a text from our “leader” LO picks up D Freeman 37 and C2K 27 at the last second, leaving number 1overall pick E Lacey on the bench. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, sounds like someone has inside knowlege.  This game is under league review, and the Cats firmly believe they will be victorious upon full disclosure (it’s not under review, we don’t have a review policy, and I hate DFUN).  Maybe this is payback for the week 1 shoot out that LO lost 143-121. I don’t know, but I do know the Cats were robbed, I think we can all agree on that. Can’t we………
    And now to the only bright shiny light so far in this FFL season, DFUN 99- GRID 97!!!
GRID was a 35 point favorite to start the weekend until a K and trade-rape J Jones came along Sunday night to hand the defending champ (still under review, see above disclaimer) his first heart breaking loss.  Gronk only had 10, ODB and Hopkins combine for 29. As we have seen before (DSVP) when your K is the high score, your in trouble, Gostkowski 17.  But despite Marshawn’s 1 pt disappointment (might want to think trade, Cats have about ten fabulous RB’s) GRID went into Monday night with an insurmountable 26 point lead with only the above K and trade-raper Jones left to play.  Being an impartial newsman, I kept GRID and his soon to be fired group of FFL analytic experts updated on each catch and field goal.  I can only assume he was busy interviewing a new set of fantasy nerds to do his bidding and was unable to reply to my texts. We will just say “no comment” from GRID.
    EAST- DFUN 3-0 GRID 2-1 LO 1-2 CATS 0-3
    WEST- TBIAC 2-1 PIGG 2-1 TSMYTD’S 2-1 DSVP 0-3
Next week we will get into the numbers.  Let’s just say, as usual, there are inconsistencies (poor LO, lucky-ass DFUN)! 

Week 2 or "whoever does ESPN projections should be fired"

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

ULate report for Week 2, sorry. Not really. Moving on to the highlights (or lowlights for some).

4 games, 16 point differential was the closest game, 52 the biggest.  I blame our commissioner for his insane point settings, or GRID. Not sure what he did but I blame him anyway.  ESPN had point spread of 3 for a 51pt game, 10 for 41pt spread, a 10 pt underdog winning by 16 and TSMYTDs actually close in the prediction of his beat down of DSVP! My advice, keep basing every move on ESPN predictions. Please!!
 
    103-52 GRID slips by the Cats.  In the first big trade of the year, the Cats picked up Jeremy Hill for James Jones. Hill paid back the Cats with a solid -1. Dick.  Andre Johnson continues to fail.  Can’t miss DEF, -1,  and a combined two week total for A. Vinatieri……..-2.   GRID, through the foresight of his team of paid FFL experts posted his second big game of the season.  Russel Wilson was nice, Marshawn disappointed, Hyde fell back to earth (5pts). ODB tossed in 19, Gronk was HELD to 17 and Gostkowski 19pts. From a kicker? WTF!!! I thought DSVP was the only team that was led by a K (and hometown refs against the mighty LaTech Bulldogs!).  Like last year, Cats start out slumping and GRID “comes out” “flaming” hot.  I’m not inferring anything….. Really….. Ok Im pissed I lost…..
     114-73 Capt v PIGG. In a battle of  1-1 teams, Capt squeaks out the win by 41.  Romo goes out for PIGG, crushing his chances, and Cowboy fans dreams.  Luckily PIGG has Rrrrroooodddddjjjjaaaasss. 21pts. Bench. Next to T Smith 20 and Bernard 13. Wouldn’t have mattered since TBIAC aka CAPT recently sold his soul to the devil (GRID?) for a FFL victory.  How else can you explain a team that starts Sam Bradford, AGAIN, and yet wins the game?  Bradford had his best game of his sad career, 6pts.  Forte somehow is still not injured after 2 whole games.  21pts, and 15pts from D and K is the proof of the unholy alliance.  On the upside, A Brown continues dominating. The only thing that could stop Antonio Brown is…… I don’t know…… Big Ben injury? Awwww that will never happen. 
     In a 32 point nail biter, TSMYTD’s smacks DSVP, paying the Wildcat owner back for their grand larceny Saturday. Karma DSVP…..karma. When Julian Edelman is your leading scorer, ever, you will be losing. Edelman 22pts.  3 pts combined for both RBs!  Not a good week. Fluke? Reality? Payback? (I like to think so, Go Dawgs!!).  For the victor, A Luck continues to crush owners hope (you remember don’t you Capt? You remember how your “Luck just ran out”? Huh, do you remember. Do ya?). McCoy actually hit double digits and three strong games from the WR/flex positions and 18 from D was enough to make up for the “bad” Luck.
     In the “close” game of the week LO pulled a defeat out from the jaws of victory for another LOSS 78-94 to the hot start DFUN, (the guy who made our stupid scoring system, see above). LO learned a lesson week 1 and benched Peyton, and got 28 from Brady’s deflated balls. Lacey, the overall #1 pick was injured early, never a good thing and finished with zip, nada, zero.  WR played strong but not enough to overcome the James Jones led DFUN. Jones continues to only catch TDs (unlike the trade-rape Jeremy Hill). AP ran like he had been “switched” in the ba….. You know where I’m going…..16pts. 12pts from Watkins (good luck waiting on this to happen again) and 16 from D was enough to finish this week of FFL sadness.

   TSMYTD’S, DFUN and GRID 2-0
   PIGG, TBIAC 1-1
    LO, DSVP and Cats 0-2
 Week 3 should bring clarity to the league as the cream rises to the top and the rest fall away as they usually do (you know who you are). Let’s make some trades (not with Capt) and stop looking at waiver wire, there is nothing there, nothing. I’ve looked….often…a lot….maybe to much…
   It’s been a long week!


Week 1 Recap- "Taco Tuesday comes a day early! or The YEAR of the TE’s"

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

    One fluke beat down, two close ones and a shoot-out for Week 1!  Many strange things happened (Cats losing) on the opening week of FFL 2015!  Is Peyton finished (5 pts)? Are TE’s the new dominate force (27, 23, 22, 22, 18, 14, 13, 11, 11, 11)?  Will Chip Kelley be DeMarco Murrays kryptonite (8 carries 9 yds)? Will Gronk set a record for points scored (pray for injury or some kind of Gronk-gate to slow him down)? Should we even have K’s (-1 Cats, 4 Grid) or try and play multiple K’s (DSVP 18, LO 17)?  Is AP going to get “swatted” of the top RB list (10 for 31yds)?  Many questions and only 13 weeks left till the Shiva-Bow playoffs!!!
    Yankees v Team K-  Pigg 90- 83 DSVP. RRaaahhhddggeerrrss goes for 22, no surprise. A Morris with 121yds, surprise! Solid game from Marshall and Graham 11, 12pts.  This was enough to beat DSVP’s K who was about the only player to suit up this weekend. Bree’s continues to decline, 16 pts. 10 pts total for starting RB’s and DSVP’s FLEX injured (what a BIG surprise, I had him last year).  Pigg needs some RB help and DSVP needs to travel back in time and re-draft. (Editors note- these opinions are based on fact and stat calculation and spite. We do not condone or agree with any predictions herein).
     Team Quick Start v Team Dissapointing- DFUN wins snoozer 90-74 over sad Cats. 14 from the Ravens D, 18 from Big Ben, Hill 18 and many bad days for the Cats team sealed the deal. 21 from Chris Ivory, 15 from JC AND Dolphins 14. Tannehill sucked, 14 pts combined for RB, WR, WR, and TE killed any chance of winning. Oh yeah, almost forgot, -1 for K. Bad day, bad loss to inferior team (see editors notes above).  DFUN will face challenges with Dez out 4-6 weeks and if AP continues downhill.  Cats either had a bad week or a terrible draft. We will see
     Capt Lucky v Team So Close- GRID starts out just as he finished last season, with a W. No post championship slacking here. Gronk. Nuff said. Carlos Hyde 29 WTF? Panthers 22 (they WERE playing JAC). Hopkins 23 with that QB dumpster fire in HOU? So freakin lucky!  Poor LO, second most points scored…..Loss.  What could LO have done differently? RB, RB, WR, TE, K and D were really nice. FLEX? Zero points for DeSean Jackson (injured) Rashad Jennings on bench with 11. That would have closed the 143-121 gap, but not enough. Hmmmmmm….. what else could LO have done……? Maybe start Brady and his 27pts instead of rag-arm Manning 5pts?  Who could have known?  Grid will fall back to earth with a middle-of-the-road team and no bench, or most likely continue getting lucky week by week.  LO has a nice team but some glaring holes. Will LO sit on her team like last year or make some tough decisions and fight for the playoffs? Again, we shall see.
     Taco Bowl- SMYTD’s edges out TBIAC 106-102 thanks to OU Sooner Sam Bradfords losing ways!!!! With a chance to win, Bradford tossed another INT, -2, to seal the fate for the former CAPT and the EAGLES😄. SMYTD’s had big games from Kelce 22, Allen 16, Luck 17 and the Jets D 14.  TBIAC made it through week 1 without Forte 22, being injured. A. Brown continues dominating with 19 and the Broncos D tossed in 18.  SMYTD’s looking pretty solid if McCoy can play like 2013 and Kelce is for realz.  Capt will continue to struggle as long as Bradford is leading his team (to the losers bracket for the first time, next to DFUN, not HIS first time). Tying his WR to Bradford also seems like a bad idea, Matthews, but the Capt has been questioned before and has his name on the Shiva trophy. We will see what happens in upcoming weeks
    Conclusions-  TE was ridiculous this week.  Maybe it’s early on safety blanket play? Maybe everyone wants a Gronk? I bet next week cools off at the position, except for the Cats whose TE did nada this week. Comeback time!! Broncos and Peyton? New offenseive scheme? Great Ravens D? If the decline is real many of us have a problem (Thomas, Sanders, Anderson, etc). If it’s a one week blip, things will get back to normal. I’m betting somewhere in the middle.
     NEXT WEEK- Cats v Grid, Pigg v TBIAC, SMYTD’s v DSVP AND DFUN V LO.
Will teams make moves? (Possible) Will TBIAC send Cats a ridiculously unfair trade offer? (Most
likely). Will LO play Manning or Brady (or bench both somehow)? Will DSVP START 7 kickers (should)? Many questions, no answers, just ridiculous commentary and 13 weeks to go!!

Ceiling Cats training camp 2015

2015 FFL draft Recap and Predictions

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

Welcome to “This is Serious Business” 2015!  Last year was another horribly disappointing season that ended, disappointingly, with the GRID taking home the trophy. Sheer luck? Timing? Hard work and study? No. GRID, and Capt, hired outside representation to draft and run their teams.  They got the idea from Dr Andre from “the League”. But much like Dre, they have been OUTED.  As cheaters, not the other “outed”……..yet.

    Ceiling Cats were the underdog of last season making a final four game winning streak to make the playoffs and knock out the “would have been” first time playoff qualifier DFUN.  If anyone remembers (Felix), all DFUN had to do was win one game of the last four to make the promise land. But a huge trade and some familial backstabbing sealed DFUN’s fate, again, as last place!  DVP, the new guy rounded out the playoff teams.  LO fought her own uphill battles with AP going out for beating his kid with a tree branch ( irony for a team formerly known as baby-snatchers?). PIGG made a run but came up short in the end. Overall not a bad showing for the only Yankee in our League.  HOLA had moments, beating the Cats, but didn’t have enough to finish in the top four, prompting a name change this year to “show me yo TDs”. We shall see if the TDs flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano for “SMYTDs”
   On to the draft analysis.  This year, with an upgraded budget from the Commish, we have entered all drafts into the ESPN/YAHOO/NASA search engines and let them decide who is triumphant and who has failed miserably.  Oh yeah, and the new sacko award (last place) will be the renaming of the losing team by the championship team for the entire year. No one wants me to name their team.  Oops, jumping ahead of the analysis.
    GRID- it seems like the “champ” has had a hard financial year. Clearly the professional scouts that picked his team last yar were not brought back this season. Any team starting J Stewart, like Sisyphus,  is bound to Hell. Nuff said.
    TBIAC, formerly the Capt continues his risk taking ways with S Bradford as his opening day QB and D McFadden on his roster. Combined games between the two played in the last four years. Four. And to decrease his chance of me naming him, oops, of the ANALYSIS naming him champ, he has M Forte and R Matthews.  ESPN/YAHOO/NASA  projects TBIAC to be the first team ever to forfeit the season for not filling out a starting lineup.
   Ceiling Cats-  this team really put the work in over the offseason.  Mock drafts, player analysis, naps, drinking….. The Cats really shored up their only minuscule weakness, drafting. More RBs than they can play, up and coming QB, exciting rookies, the whole package.  Look for Cats to dominate the season until stumbling in the first round of the playoffs causing 6 months of non-stop “what-if” conversations.
    DSVP- looks like his alma mater K-State (see Internet band pic). First glance, pretty good. Will they be in the big game. ESPN/YAHOO/NASA says NO. A Ellington, TY Hilton, J Maclin are all question marks. They could prove our analysis wrong……but they won’t.   
    LO- fought back from her first rd draft pick being sidelined for the year to, compete for last place! Not trading at mid season (with the Cats) most likely cost her a playoff run.  This year she brought in her draft expert who quickly got drunk at the draft party and kept talking about ” Carnies have small hands and smell like cabbage” not sure LO got value for her dollar with that “expert”. E Lacy could be a nice pick at #1, D Murray will be interesting to see in his new uniform, J Jones is great if not injured and the Seahawks have been dominate for years now.  Downside, P Manning and his rubber arm, Jason Witten and his NOT catching TDs and the restoff LO’ s team except deflategate T Brady. Despite the faults, could make a run for the playoffs….probably not.
    PIGG- one of the savviest trade partners in the ffl game today.  For the second year in a row he picks up A Rodgers.  D Thomas at WR and the Texans at D all great picks,  but obviously had to leave the draft to tend other matters after that.  How else can one explain starting J Randle and A Morris at RB. Hmmmmmm…….a Yankee from Virginia (close to DC) and a born Cowboy fan picks their respective RBs. Coincidence or homer-ism? We shall see.
    SMYTDS- new name, new team, new finish?  Luck, McCoy, Megatron, Sanders, Foster, Fitzgerald.  This team has the fire power to fight for contention. Bench is fairly solid.  Injuries and depth are the only questions left. Could this be the year for our 4th new champion?
   Final analysis- I don’t know. Felix’s check was sent via some weird Internet thing and no one would except it so we got no analysis, well……. Except for mine which is usually dead on.  Thursday night starts things off, make sure to check injuries. And Felix, trust in the “muscle hamster” D Martin. He is going to be awesome…….

Addendum-  forgot someone, oopsie!

DFUN- the commish started off strong until it came to crunch time. With 4 games to go, and needing only one win….. We all know how that ended!!
  This year, DFUN hit the books. Big Ben, AP, Hill, dez, alshon. Boooooom!! Looks like a playoff ready team. Bench looks weak (Vereen, Martin, garçon). A couple good trades could keep last years nightmare (so with only four games left all DFUN had to do was win just one….. We still remember…..last place) from happening again. Or not.

2015 Fantasy Football Season

sanityuntetheredLeave a comment

Changes 

1. At the end of the season, you can chose one player to keep. your decision must be submitted to the commissioner by June 30th 2016

Dues

Still 50$

Payouts

1st: $250
2nd: $100
3rd: $50

Draft Day

August 28th 
7:30pm CDT
Those in the area are expected to be @ 2Charlie’s in Denton we have a reserved area with WiFi.
The draft order will be determined before the draft using the same tool I used last year at 2Charlie’s so more than one person can witness the button click.

Communication

I personally hate the emails ESPN sends out. I would prefer to communicate over GroupMe for two way conversations. 

Week 12/13 Slumping, a Monster Trade and a New Hope

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

    The Capt’s struggles have begun, despite keeping his winning streak alive. Week 12 was 1 player move away from his first loss since week 2. But, a victory nonetheless over the Cats who left Beckhams 26 on the bench. This also was the first week of a Monster Trade between the Cats and Pigg (Bree’s, Olsen, Jennings, Hopkins for Rodddjjjaaas and Thomas).  Rodddjjjaaas 19, Thomas 0. How will this trade turn out? I guess we shall see….
    Pigg loss to Grider. Bree’s 27, Jennings 11, Olsen on bye and Hopkins 3. Grider had huge games from everyone but his QB and WR (who was injured). Is this Grider team strong enough to go all the way? Will his head coach continue to make poor decisions on start/sit? Will homeless people keep knocking on his door at 5am? Is this where his amazing draft came from? A homeless FFL savant that drops by with his weekly picks at the crack of dawn? I think yes. (See lower Greenville panhandler story on google).
    DFUN, once in charge of the second playoff position in the East division, loses his 3rd in a row to DSVP who is fighting for the second spot in the West.  Once again DFUN tinkers with his team and has Fleeners 2 start and Walkers 15 sit and Lafells 9 watch as Cobb falls flat with 5. Can DFUN get a new head coach in time to save his season? Will he fail to make the winners bracket AGAIN?  Is this the beginning of the most epic fail in FFL history? I think yes.
    Hola loss to LO. Hola’s luck continues with another close loss, 85-83.  Romo and the Bills showed up big with 48 combined, and if you can do the math, that’s more than half his entire output.  LO seems to be sneaking back into the Wests playoff picture with this entirely unimpressive victory.  Will LO continue to move up the rankings? Can she score more than 100 pts? Will Hola drop Brees to waivers? (Oops, that happened last year).  I think yes.
   Week 12 ends with Capt and Grider clinching the top two spots. Cats, DFUN and LO are still fighting it out (DFUNs been less fighting and more chocking as of late). DSVP has small lead on PIGG, but, after pulling the trigger on the Monster trade, will Pigg make a run at the winners bracket?

Week 13, A New Hope. Or Epic Fail
     Capt continues to struggle, but wins 90-80 over LO hurting, but not ending, her playoff hopes. Again, one player move (Stafford for Tannehill) would have ended Capt’s streak and put LO in the winners bracket drivers seat. But it didn’t happen. Again. 100pts for LO. Nope. Moving up in rankings. Nope
     Grider takes out Hola. Same story for Hola, Different week. Huge early games from Bell 22, Mason 33 and Megatron 26 gave everyone hope for a Grider loss. Too bad the rest of his team scored 33 combined. Grider escapes the “Golden Taco” by having good games from all his starters and no coaching mistakes (for a change).  Maybe his “assistant coach” came by a little earlier this week?
     Cats shoot down DSVP 100-73. Rodddjjjaaas has 24 and Thomas doesn’t play again. Maybe that trade was a bad idea?  But, the victory puts the Cats into the lead for the playoffs (but only if DFUN loses his 4th, yes 4th, in a row).  Being swept by the Cats this year tightens the West race between DSVP and Pigg ( but only if Pigg wins and scores ALOT). Let’s see what happened!!
    In the most pivotal game of this FFL season DFUN…….. CHOKES again!! Team PIGGCats blows UP! 134-103 final.  Trade players- Brees 30, Jennings 21, Olsen 5, Hopkins 35.  Total= 91pts!! This DFUN loss (4th in a row) puts the Cats in second place alone! The Cats GM was awarded the trophy for executive of the year following this game. When asked “what is best in life” the Cats GM/Head coach quoted Conan the Barbarian “crush your enemies, see them driven before. Hear the lamentations of their women”. There were NO follow up questions.
    Going into week 14….. Capt and Grider in #1 spots. In the West- DSVP in 2nd. PIGG needs a DSVP loss and to out score him by 34 to steal the second spot. With his “new” team, it could happen!
In the East- DFUN plummets to a tie with LO, both a game back from the Cats.  Cats win and they are in. If DFUN loses (AGAIN!!!) and LO loses Cats are in.  If Cats lose and DFUN wins and out scores Cats by 8, DFUN is in. If DFUN and Cats lose and LO out scores them by 201 the LO is in (ain’t happening). So, last week of the regular season and all but one team still have a chance. Capt has been playing down to his opponents. He was quoted “I’m resting my guys for the playoffs”. Grider keeps winning but hasn’t been dominate as of late. DSVP has some big wins but was also able to lose to the Cats twice. Pigg maybe hitting his stride at the right time, or last week was a fluke and he will be watching the playoffs from home.  LO was one player away from knocking off the Capt and putting herself in a tie for second place. But she didn’t. Cats….. Who knows. Could win could lose, but his resiliency over this tough season has been inspiring ( at least I think so!) Hola was just a few players away each game. Some bad luck and some bad players sealed his fate. Winners bracket last year, losers this year. And last and least DFUN. A win ANYTIME over the last 4 would have put him in second. Two wins and almost guaranteed playoffs. But dropping 4 in arow has him on the outside looking in, again.  DFUNs first winners bracket playoff seems to be fading away, again.
    Next week- the questions are answered.
   

Week 11 Three fights and one Beatdown

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

Finally some actual drama besides what outfit DSVP is going to wear today or if LO has jumped off a cliff!  Two games came down to Monday night, another touch and go all Sunday, and then there was the Capt. pulling a “Cosby” on DFUN! I LOVE FFL on FFL VIOLENCE!!!!
     7 TDS ( a little under the Capt’s average) was plenty to curb stomp DFUN 125-70.  The Commish was in trouble when Peyton played like Eli and scored a lowly 15. Asiata, Bryant  and Gano combined for 5 pts while AJ Greens 18 was wasted this weekend.  Everyone on Capt went for double digits except  Ingram 9 and LIONS 4.  Both were taken out of the locker-room and quickly, but not quietly, “put down” as a warning to the others. Be afraid, be very afraid of the Capt!
     The Cats rolled to a 70-57 W over Hola. This barn burner started as a -27 fav for the Cats. At one point Hola was -12pt fav. Back and forth, back and forth (as much as a 127 pt combined game can sway).  Both teams failed to even drive to their respective stadiums this weekend much less suit up for game time.  This happens on occasion (see all PIGG victories!!)  This win makes it 2 wins in a row for the Cats, otherwise known as a WINNING STREAK!!
     LO v Pigg in a must win for LO and a néed to win for Pigg. 0 pts at RB2 and TE (injury) hurt Pigg and LeVeon Bells 27 pts on MNF sealed the deal for LO 82-73.  Neither had much on the bench (or on the field).  Laces Out stay in the fight for the winners bracket and Team Piggs road to the playoffs just got rocky! What these two teams need is a big blockbuster trade to shake things up, clear the room, recommit to winning! Will either be brave enough, foresighted enough, hungry enough to risk it all to win it ALL?   The next 3 games will tell the tale.
     DSVP v Grid. 87-82 DSVP.  In a close game,  Grid goes down like a OakLawn tranny,easy and for the price of a box of Chardonnay (as the Capt once described to me in minute detail). Bishop Sankey and Antonio Brown weren’t enough on Monday Night to steal the victory over the 6-5 Pugs.  Hilton and Graham combined for 4 pts for Grid, while Sanu and Allen totaled 2 for DSVP.  As we have all seen, FFL is any given team on any given Sunday. Either team could have won or lost this battle but the Fantasy Gods seem to be angry with Grid (haha!!!) or happy with DSVP and he now has a firm grasp on the second spot in the winners bracket (unless PIGG does something dramatic! See above)
   So Week 11 is done. Good games, surprises, last minutes and ass whippings (DFUN). It brings us to  3 weeks to go and rankings that look like this…
EAST.                                                        WEST
Grid 8-3 1144PF 981PA.                             Capt 9-2  1300PF 927PA
Cats 5-6  1071PF 1080PA.                          DSVP 6-5 1027PF 959PA
DFUN 5-6 1056PF 1090 PA.                      Pigg 5-6     925PF 942PA
LO.      4-7 897PF 1108PA.                         Hola 2-9.    777PF 1110 PA