Welcome to “This is Serious Business” 2015! Last year was another horribly disappointing season that ended, disappointingly, with the GRID taking home the trophy. Sheer luck? Timing? Hard work and study? No. GRID, and Capt, hired outside representation to draft and run their teams. They got the idea from Dr Andre from “the League”. But much like Dre, they have been OUTED. As cheaters, not the other “outed”……..yet.
Ceiling Cats were the underdog of last season making a final four game winning streak to make the playoffs and knock out the “would have been” first time playoff qualifier DFUN. If anyone remembers (Felix), all DFUN had to do was win one game of the last four to make the promise land. But a huge trade and some familial backstabbing sealed DFUN’s fate, again, as last place! DVP, the new guy rounded out the playoff teams. LO fought her own uphill battles with AP going out for beating his kid with a tree branch ( irony for a team formerly known as baby-snatchers?). PIGG made a run but came up short in the end. Overall not a bad showing for the only Yankee in our League. HOLA had moments, beating the Cats, but didn’t have enough to finish in the top four, prompting a name change this year to “show me yo TDs”. We shall see if the TDs flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano for “SMYTDs”
On to the draft analysis. This year, with an upgraded budget from the Commish, we have entered all drafts into the ESPN/YAHOO/NASA search engines and let them decide who is triumphant and who has failed miserably. Oh yeah, and the new sacko award (last place) will be the renaming of the losing team by the championship team for the entire year. No one wants me to name their team. Oops, jumping ahead of the analysis.
GRID- it seems like the “champ” has had a hard financial year. Clearly the professional scouts that picked his team last yar were not brought back this season. Any team starting J Stewart, like Sisyphus, is bound to Hell. Nuff said.
TBIAC, formerly the Capt continues his risk taking ways with S Bradford as his opening day QB and D McFadden on his roster. Combined games between the two played in the last four years. Four. And to decrease his chance of me naming him, oops, of the ANALYSIS naming him champ, he has M Forte and R Matthews. ESPN/YAHOO/NASA projects TBIAC to be the first team ever to forfeit the season for not filling out a starting lineup.
Ceiling Cats- this team really put the work in over the offseason. Mock drafts, player analysis, naps, drinking….. The Cats really shored up their only minuscule weakness, drafting. More RBs than they can play, up and coming QB, exciting rookies, the whole package. Look for Cats to dominate the season until stumbling in the first round of the playoffs causing 6 months of non-stop “what-if” conversations.
DSVP- looks like his alma mater K-State (see Internet band pic). First glance, pretty good. Will they be in the big game. ESPN/YAHOO/NASA says NO. A Ellington, TY Hilton, J Maclin are all question marks. They could prove our analysis wrong……but they won’t.
LO- fought back from her first rd draft pick being sidelined for the year to, compete for last place! Not trading at mid season (with the Cats) most likely cost her a playoff run. This year she brought in her draft expert who quickly got drunk at the draft party and kept talking about ” Carnies have small hands and smell like cabbage” not sure LO got value for her dollar with that “expert”. E Lacy could be a nice pick at #1, D Murray will be interesting to see in his new uniform, J Jones is great if not injured and the Seahawks have been dominate for years now. Downside, P Manning and his rubber arm, Jason Witten and his NOT catching TDs and the restoff LO’ s team except deflategate T Brady. Despite the faults, could make a run for the playoffs….probably not.
PIGG- one of the savviest trade partners in the ffl game today. For the second year in a row he picks up A Rodgers. D Thomas at WR and the Texans at D all great picks, but obviously had to leave the draft to tend other matters after that. How else can one explain starting J Randle and A Morris at RB. Hmmmmmm…….a Yankee from Virginia (close to DC) and a born Cowboy fan picks their respective RBs. Coincidence or homer-ism? We shall see.
SMYTDS- new name, new team, new finish? Luck, McCoy, Megatron, Sanders, Foster, Fitzgerald. This team has the fire power to fight for contention. Bench is fairly solid. Injuries and depth are the only questions left. Could this be the year for our 4th new champion?
Final analysis- I don’t know. Felix’s check was sent via some weird Internet thing and no one would except it so we got no analysis, well……. Except for mine which is usually dead on. Thursday night starts things off, make sure to check injuries. And Felix, trust in the “muscle hamster” D Martin. He is going to be awesome…….
Addendum- forgot someone, oopsie!
DFUN- the commish started off strong until it came to crunch time. With 4 games to go, and needing only one win….. We all know how that ended!!
This year, DFUN hit the books. Big Ben, AP, Hill, dez, alshon. Boooooom!! Looks like a playoff ready team. Bench looks weak (Vereen, Martin, garçon). A couple good trades could keep last years nightmare (so with only four games left all DFUN had to do was win just one….. We still remember…..last place) from happening again. Or not.
This is Serious Business FFL 