Week 2, or the " The Power Bottoms go down again"

    Week 2 came and went, some wins, some losses, some injuries, some trades.  Otherwise known as another week in the FFL.  Hopefully you don’t have AP (TGPBs), or muscle hamer (Capt),  Danny Woodhead (who the f has him?)  or Ameer Abdullah (huge loss), or any defense playing the Patriots!  In  the “This is Serious” league the GM must me ready to make moves or become the “Sacko”.

     Let’s get through the blowout of the week….. A Super Bowl rematch between the defending champ Cats and the former defending champs and draft no-show, Team Grider. Final score. 120-77. Sad. This used to be a marquee matchup- game of the week- must see tv. Lately, not so much. Just Team Grider losses. Someone’s gonna get fired!!  But lets not bury Team Grider just yet, he has always been a dangerous team, especially when on “the bottom”.

     LO v TGPBs. Playoff contender vs Sacko. -6 pt fav. 117- 82 final. LO goes to 1-1, commish to 0-2. Maybe a good sign after TGPBs 4-0 start last year! Probably not. LO rolls on despite QB Wilson hurt and only scoring 11.  But the ol man Forte went for 100yds and 3 TDs and 28pts. Hopkins tossed in 17 and Blount 18 despite the fact that he should be in jail. Trust me, that guy has committed crimes, we just havent busted him yet.  The Power Bottoms could have helped themselves by benching AP (should have known he’d get hurt) and Watkins (should have known he’d get hurt) and thier combined 1pt. Bernard’s  15pts, and T Benjamin, 23pts, watched the Commish go to 0-2.

TSMYTDs v DSVP.  These guys HATE each other, and it showed in this dogfight!!
TSMYTDs  choice of DeMarco Murray (and a few other picks) was scoffed at by Team Griders group of draft experts.  DeMarco goes for 13pts and another Grider draft expert was fired.  16 from Julio and Dez finally did something, 10pts, and the Panthers D with 14 for a total of 80. Which usually means you got beat down, or its mid-season and you’ve got byes and injuries.  This is week two sooooooooooooooo…. but his opponent is DSVP, so lets see how it went down!!  29 from Cam and 22 from K Benjamin take the W 88-80.  TSMYTDS left Ryan Matthews 2 TDs on the bench for J. Stewarts 0pts (should have known he would get injured) and Mike Wallace’s 16 over DeSean jackson 4 ( should have know he would suck agains the amazing Cowboy D!).  Pugs missed the one chance to start a Browns player this season (until Josh Gordon gets back) by leaving I Crowell and his 20pts watching from the sidelines.  Looks like DSVP bagged another valuable win!
And in the finale, TBIAC v Team Pigg.  For once, ESPN almost had this one picked correctly (see Cats v Grider, 3.4 spread, 43 point blowout!) at 4.4 spread. Glass wins 84-79 to go to 2-0 despite the lack of good players or coaches.  Pigg got gut-punched by Carlos Hydes 2 pts and Crosby’s 2 extra points.  Deckers 18 on the bench would have been the difference maker over Cooks 6.  But, as we all know,that is how the FFL go……. (I detect foreshadowing).
So that puts TBIAC and Cats at 2-0, Grider, Pigg, LO and DSVP at 1-1 and literally at the “BOTTOMS” is the Power Bottoms and TSMYTDs at 0-2.  Dont worry though, there is plenty of FFL to be FFL’ed.  The Bottoms started last season at 4-0 (not sure if i’d noted that anywhere?) and won the Sacko, and the Cats were 0-3 and now how a 4 foot monstrosity with plastic dicks in my office! (it is truly Maginificent!!)  So, keep playing, keep trading, keep doing the homework.  Injuries will obviously start to play a major role in the season as will the dreaded bye weeks to come. Till next time……

The Draft, Week One and a Grider no-show

     The 2016-2017 Draft went off beautifully! The free taco bar and the drinks flowed like wine, where beautiful FFL draft picks instinctively flocked like the salmon of Capistrano! I’m taking about a little place called…….Denton. Team Pigg lives in Yankee-land, Taco was taking a much needed vaca and the rest of the league was at II Charlie’s…….. Except Team Grider.  Where was he? Working?  Out of town? Did he rsvp not coming? No no no no no.  He was in his penthouse/underground lair, surrounded by his FFL support staff and minions and most importantly…. His paid group of draft experts.  Year after year after year, a new excuse comes up on why Team Grider missed the group draft; work, diarrhea, traveling, explosive diarrhea, electrocution.  We’ve heard all the excuses.  When will the “current” Commisioner stand up to this tyrant and say “No”.  No more drafting in Jerry Jones war room, no more team of experts, no more skipping out on the draft.  When will the newly named “Team Griders Power Bottom” stand up to Team Grider……. Uhhhmm okk, I guess that name kinda speaks for itself.  So, Nathan didn’t show but we had a great time and we unveiled the “The Sacko” and began the 2016-2017 FFL season!  Good luck to all……. for second place!

Week One or “the Reckoning”
     As the last place finisher of the losers championship game, Team DFUN was the winner….. Loser… Champ?… Whatever, he was last place, the absolute loser of the league (don’t forget 4-0 start) and won/lost the “The Sacko” and a new name.  The newly minted TGPBs started week one with the defending champs, the Cats. LOSS. 100-75. Maybe it’s a good sign for the commish to start out on a losing streak this year. Or not….

     In a playoff rematch from last season, Team Grider actually showed up to play Laces Out! All I can say is Grider seems to have gotten his $$ worth from the FFL experts who drafted his team. CJ Anderson (25pts – equaling his entire 2016 total) actually scores points?? Who knew this was possible?  Number 1 RB Todd Gurley had a tough start with 4pts, but that will clearly be an aberation, right? Raaaawwwwddddjjjjaaaasss looked good with 22, and AJ Green got 24, which will be his weekly average for the season….gauranteed! LO was balanced but boring. A handful of double digits games and a couple of stinkers just couldn’t put her on top of Grider this week. 121-86
     Pigg v DSVP. The Yankee (auto draft) came out swinging in week one! Palmer 18, Elliot 11, Hyde 20, Cooks 27, Evans 15! 109 total. Big week for Pigg! DSVP had good games from Cam, keeper Lamar Miller and his K and no one else.  With a talented roster and a seemingly renewed vigor for the game, can DSVP launch himself back into FFL legitimacy?  Will Pigg make the winners bracket for the first time and break the “Southern” stranglehold on the the “Lucky Bastard”? Probably neither. But it’s week one so hope is still alive! For now.
   And in this weeks throwdown, TBIAC v TSMYTDs!  Luck went for 35, and D Bailey 17 ( this should be a regular occurrence with the Jason Garrett offense) wasn’t enough to take out the talented but snake-bit Capt!  Bree’s countered with 30, the amazing Antonio B with 24 and a solid D was enough to take the W and move on to Week 2!
   Sorry for the short version, been a busy couple of weeks putting together a repeat Championship team and all the other stuff (work, work, napping, drinking, napping, working… You get the picture…. I’ve been busy)! Thanks to everyone who came to the draft that was physically able to (everyone but Nate) and a special thanks to owners Hallie and Courtney for putting together the draft party without a single bit of help from the Commish! And to the Cats head coach for scouring BOTH downtown mini-malls for the new Sacko Award. More next week!
   

Week 16 or "Of Winners, Losers and the Game" part two

Championship week has come and gone, the “Lucky Bastard” returns home, the Commish captures the “Sacko” and a new name, and the rest the horrible dreams of what could have been!!!
   Losers- everyone but the Cats! Just kidding (I’m not kidding).  TBIAC takes home the award for best team with the worst record. Not sure how he did it but it was fun to watch! TSMYTDs was the surprise of the season making the playoffs (albeit from the weakest division in FFL history) despite a roller coaster of a season.  LO was gifted a RB duo early on and it was almost enough to make up for the Eddie Lacey #1 overall draft pick (????) and  NEVER EVER accepting a trade offer! Pigg had a chance, but with no one but Raaaawwwwdddddjjjjaaaasss, he just didn’t have enough.  DSVP was terrible. Terrible. (Someone needs to learn what is important in life and it’s not family and job!!!). Grid, again, fought his way into the Super Bowl…..and lost.  All year long this blog had said Grid was the strongest team put had no bench.  I guess his “experts” disagreed and made no moves despite every other team in the league being crushed by injuries.  Grid went into the playoffs unscathed and on fire. Until ODB lost his shit (and found a suspension) and the injury bug finally hit!  A final week of furious waiver wire action (all being looked at by the league office for collusion) gave him a full roster, but not a good one.  Cats had rebuilt his team numerous times over the season after losing his top two picks to injuries, #1 WR to a kidney and Chris Ivory to mediocrity.  David Johnson, Deangelo Williams (thanks DSVP!!) and Tim Hightower were the MVPs of the playoff run combining for 139pts in two games (23.1 pts per player per game average).  The Cats take the trophy home again despite the fact that the starting Super Bowl champion QB was Matt Stafford. Matt freaking Stafford!  Final score 127-85.
 Great year! Take a few weeks off to recuperate then start hitting the mock drafts for “this is serious business” 2016!  And the Commish will be emailing about the trophy presentation (boozefest).
    I wrote a piece about this year, winning the “Lucky Bastard”, again, and my thoughts on our FFL league. When I re-read it, I found some similarities to Lebron’s “coming home” letter. Weird, I know!!
     “The Lucky Bastard Coming Home”
   Before anyone ever cared where I would play FFL, I was a kid from North Texas.  It’s where I walked.  It’s where I ran. It’s where I cried.  It’s where I bled.  It holds a special place in my heart.  People there have seen me grow up.  I sometimes feel like I’m their son.  Their passion can be overwhelming.  But it drives me.  I want to give them hope when I can.  My relationship with North Texas is bigger than FFL. I didn’t realize this four years ago (when I won the first championship).  But now I do.
    I’m not promising back-to-back championships.  I know how hard that is to deliver.  We’re not ready right now (it’s the off season). No way. Of course I want to win next year, but I’m realistic. It will be a long process, much longer than it was in 2015.  My patience will be tested.  I know I’m going into a situation with a young team.  I will be the old head.  But I get a thrill out of bringing a group together and helping them reach a place they didn’t know they could go.
      I want kids in North Texas to realize that there is no better place to FFL.  Maybe some of them will come home after college and start a FFL family or a FFL business. That would make me smile.  Our community, which has struggled so much at FFL needs all the talent it can get.
   In North Texas, no FFL WIN is given. Everything is earned.  You work for what you have.  I’m ready to accept the challenge. I’m coming home (to “this is serious business ” 2016).
  This is best read in Morgan Freeman’s voice.

Week 15 or "Tinker away, Tinkerbell, straight to NeverNever WinLand"- Jenny

Week 15 SHOCKER!!! DSVP loses to the “former” champ TBIAC 122-87.  Shocking part was how close this one was.  DSVP goes to the Sacko Bowl and Glass escapes the horrible shame and name-calling of playing in the loser championship game.

    Familllllllyyyyy Fuuueeeedddd part 3. DFUN v Pigg. Loser goes to Sacko, winner moves on to mediocrity. And the winner is………. DFUN! They defeat the terrible northern aggressor and move on. Oooppppss, Steve Harvey does it again. PIGG is the winner and DFUN falls into the 7th level of Sacko-hell!
If you remember DFUN was 4-0. Just sayin.
     In the second Faaammmiillllyyy Fuuueeeddd, Cats win 128-58. Boring.  ESPN picked TSMYTD’S to win by 6.  This is unsettling (see below)
     In the one good game of the week, LO, the first timer took on the savvy vet and reigning champ GRID.  It was up and down, hit or miss, a real nail-biter. In the end Sam Bradford and his horrible band of monkey-fucker Eagles gave up 14 pts to the Cards D and ended LO’s run for the crown.  Unfortunately for the rest of us, GRID is back in the big game. Let’s pray for injuries or suspensions, or a steamroller. Something, anything, to stop the horrible GRID demolition team from keeping the “Lucky Bastard” in his 23,000sqf mansion next to Jerry Jones’ modest shack!
The 2 games that matter.  Sacko-Bowl 2015! DFUN v DSVP.  I think we all knew how this would end, didn’t we?  DFUN is the projected winner 100-81 (see above disclaimer on ESPN projections).
  “the Lucky Bastard”-  Cats v Grid. Side note- trophy is named after the Cats first championship when all the doubters called the masterfully coached team “lucky” and the owner, Hallie, “bastard”.  This is 100% true. Maybe. I’m not real sure, but it’s great bulletin board fodder for the Cats.  Grid has been laying low over the last week. Occasionally sending sweet texts wishing the Cats luck.  Obviously his highly paid team of experts have decided on a non-confrontational approach.  Cats are dealing with 2 broken WRs, a QB position that hasn’t been filled and a coin toss on the 3rd RB.  Grid’s team is going full bore down the tracks of victory. He has no reason to lose. I’m predicting a 124-65 win for the “champ”.   
    This just in…. ODB is a punk and is suspended.  Stewart is being held out because his team is undefeated and they don’t need him. A successful waiver wire run (since NO ONE else even tried) put super talented players in those empty spots and the experts agree, Grid will win.  ESPN on the other hand, has it Cats107-96. Again, see above disclaimer.  Who will “tinker, tinker, tinker away to neverwin land”? We shall see.
    Don’t forget, the “Lucky Bastard” winner names the Sacko Winner’s team next year! (I’ve already been working on names…..)

Week 14 or "Rafi- regarding the East Division – if someone says to you ‘take care of something’ that means light it on fire, right?"

Ceiling Cats 108-84.  This would knock Pigg out of the winners division if……. About a thousand things happened. Cats move into the top spot if Grid loses or Second in the East if Grid wins. Deangelo with 20 and AJ with 19 and trade-rape Alshon 16 was just too much for Cam’s 22 and Marshall’s 18.  Let’s see how this played out….

 

  In the “game that doesn’t matter” LO takes out DSVP in the fashion he deserved 129-61. LO is in DSVP has been “out” since week 3!
  In the Big D Bro-down, and a chance at the playoffs for the second highest scoring team in the league, TBIAC goes “down” on, I mean, to, Grid, 134-86, the highest scoring team in the league this year.  Grid takes the dangerous #1 spot into the playoffs while TBIAC will spend his first of-season in losers hell, the consolation bracket.  Wilson continues to dominate, Gurley had 26 and ODB may be the greatest WR in history.  Upside, Stewart got injured. Hopefully that’s enough for someone to derail this FFL machine!
   

 And in the game that would decide it all in the West, aka dumpster-fire, Division, TSMYTD’S took on DFUN.  If both TSMYTD’S and Pigg won or lost and Pigg out scored TSMYTD’S by 31 pts he was in. Anything else and Tanner took the division.  Lucky for TSMYTD’S that he played DFUN who ended his season as we all knew he would. With a L, 58-55.  Nothing to break down on this game, they both sucked, TSMYTD’S just sucked less this week. Tanner wins the East!!
                     PF.         PA.      Record
Grid.             1537.    1227.      10-4
TBIAC.          1401.    1396.      5-9
Cats.             1368.    1191.     10-4
LO.                1364.    1431.      7-7
DSVP.           1274.     1357.      5-9
TSMYTD’S    1201.     1351.     7-7
Pigg.             1197.     1295.     6-8
DFUN.           1196.     1290.     6-8
   
    These numbers prove one thing and one thing only. Nothing. How can you score the second most points and be tied for dead last (TBIAC)? How can you get oust scored by 150pts and be in the winners brackets (TSMYTD’S)? How can one team get scored against 240pts less than the highest team (Cats)?  I for one lost to LO 158-157 and lost to TSMYTD’S 65-51. So this intrepid reporter has no clue?  It’s one of the reason we all loves us sum FFL! That and when Grid loses he fires his entire FFL analytics staff. That’s always fun!!
    Playoffs-
Grid v LO
Cats v TSMYTD’S 
    Projections
None. Let’s see how this season plays out!!!

Week 13 or " Whoever said " it’s not whether you win or lose that counts" probably lost.

     A couple things we all knew coming into week 13. TBIAC had to win for any chance at controlling the EAST Div winners bracket entry.  Grid and Cats were in.  LO looked like a lock due to her enormous points lead over the hapless DFUN but, not a done deal.  TSMYTD’S and PIGG held their destiny in their own hands. And the one “for sure, no brainier, done-deal”, DSVP is OOOUUUUTTTT!!!  In this do-or-die week, some stepped up, some slipped and fell and some (DSVP) just continued to suck.

    In the Family Fued, DFUN v PIGG, both teams desperately needed a win. Pigg to get to first place and DFUN to have an outside chance of overtaking LO. 99-67 Pigg.  DFUNs dreams are once again crushed by the cruel, fickle gods of the FFL.  Pigg somehow is tied for 1st place in the super competitive East ( notice I didn’t say “good” or “strong” or “mediocre” East Divison, cause it ain’t!). AP with 1, Jones 1, Benjamin 4…… You see where this is going.  Pigg rode Cam’s 35 all over his kinfolk, much like his Yankee forefathers ran roughshod over the South.

    Cats 95-82 over DSVP.  End of DSVP.  From winners bracket to first team out. Sad.

    Grid against TSMYTD’S in a battle between the top teams in both divisions. Some reporters were calling this a championship preview and it lived up to all the hype.  Grid slips past 114-11. Great games from both teams, with a season ending injury to M Ingram maybe being the difference.  Tanner now has to regroup and hit the waiver wire hard to replace is RB stud.  Grid continues to roll (keep praying for injury).

    And in the showcase game of the week, LO v TBIAC.  LO looking to grab her first seat at the “big-boys” table and TBIAC trying to stay in contention in what can only be described as “the worst division in FFL history” (quote from ESPN Matthew Berry (( don’t actually have proof of this quote)).  LO is victorious again, 121-108.  Brady and Robinson, 30 and 33 made up for Lacey’s 0. Panthers D (I think the Cats USED to have them) let down TBIAC and put him in a deep, deep, deep fantasy hole!!!

     So with one game to play it breaks down like this-
IN- Grid, Cats, LO 
OUT- DSVP, DFUN
?- TSMYTD’S, Pigg, TBIAC 
 
The Lucky Bastard Scoring
                          PF.                        PA
Grid-                  1403.                   1141
TBIAC-               1315.                   1262
LO-                    1303.                   1302
Cats-                 1260.                    1107
DSVP-               1145.                    1296
TSMYTD’S-       1143.                    1296
DFUN-               1141.                    1232
PIGG-                1113.                    1187
So far the ” Lucky Bastard” is PIGG with The lowest points scored and 2nd lowest points against but tied for 1st.  The “big loser” is TBIAC with 2nd highest points yet a 5-8 record.  Cats are 4th in points scored but absolute last in points scored against.  DSVP gets the “screwed award” for 5th in points for but first to be out of the winners bracket. LO gets the “even” award at 1303 PF and 1302 PA. This just proves what we all know, the FFL Gods are CRAZY!!!!!
     Week 14- if TSMYTD’S wins he is in as long as PIGG doesn’t win and out score him by  31pts. PIGG is in he if wins and outscores TSMYTDs by 31pts and TSMYTD’S loses. TBIAC is in if TSMYTD’S and PIGG lose. So it’s perfectly clear!!
   TBIAC, former champion, is looking the Losers Bracket in the face. He must beat Grid this week and hope for losses to TSMYTD’S and PIGG to get to the dance despite the fact he has out scored every team but the current champ Grid. That has got to HURT!!!!!

Week 11, 12 or "Better to go out like this than in some senseless tragedy-Truman Sparks

week 11-12
   Shockingly this FFL season is quickly coming to an end.  Some are fighting to get into the winners bracket for a chance at the “Lucky Bastard” and some are just being losers (you know who you are). Just Kidding, according to my math, after week 12, everyone still has a chance. (I doubt this is true, DSVP sucks, and DFUN will find a way to blow it again, and my math skills are HIGHLY questionable). More on playoff predictions later….
   DFUN takes out TBIAC 101-96.  This looks like the first year TBIAC will be the favorite in the playoffs. In the losers bracket.  DFUN is still fighting back from their EPIC mid-season collapse.
   GRID crushes DSVP 135-49. 49? Every position filled?.  No injuries?  49 pts? WTF??
    PIGG 91-65 over the slumping LO.  Without her “black stallion” LO has been struggling.  PIGG, who has scored in the 40’s twice this year, is still viable in the dumpster-fire of the WEST division.  LO is fighting for the fourth spot in the winners bracket with a chance to move up, or fall completely out.
    CATS allowed TSMYTDS to win 65-51.  This was completelya strategic move by the Cats head coach/waiver wire genius/GM of the year.  The masses will understand when the Cats master plan is revealed.  Or it was just a really bad week?

Week 12-
   TBIAC fighting to make the playoffs…. Have to win….Must win game…..Loss to Cats 110-88 despite being a 8.5pt fav.  Great pickups by the Cats (see above awards/titles/declarations) Ware 17pts in place of JC who blew out a knee, who was replaced by West who pulled a hammy.  The Cats team has been described as a “combination of Fergie and Jesus.”  This writer agrees.
   Grid continues to look like the first “Lucky Bastard” back-to-back winner, crushing team Pigg. 108-86.  GRID starters are an awesome group! Hopefully there will be injuries, because his bench is as scary as DSVP’s starters (not scary).  Pigg is still in this at one game back with two to go (predictions to follow).
     LO continues to sliiiiiiiddeee, losing 82-100 to surging TSMYTDs.  Despite a -2 from Romo, TSMYTDS takes the W with great games from Megatron and the Bengals D.   LO continues to struggle at RB with various injuries. This victory and the TBIAC loss puts Tanner in sole possession of first place in the “short bus” division.
    DSVP 74- DFUN 82.  29 from AP puts DFUN in the lottery of the “winners bracket”.  4-8 puts DSVP as the biggest long shot for the winners bracket this year.  I’d do the math but, seriously, why waste the time!!
    The Commish and the humble writer of this Pulitzer Prize Blog nominee sat down with NASA and MIT Mathematics Dept and came up with a rock-solid prediction for the last two weeks leading into the playoffs.  Warning- this could be shocking news to some teams (DSVP).  Please look at it responsibly……

   

   This would put the Cats at #1 vs. DFUN and TBIAC vs Grid in a back to back rematch. Losers division goes like this… Losers, no one cares.

   Good luck, 2 games left, anything can happen. Except DSVP winning. We can all agree on that!!
   

Week 8, 9, 10 or "The Rise (Cats) and Fall (DFUN) of a FFL Empire"

Week 8-
   DFUN continued their epic slide, losing to the surging Cats 95-73.  DFUNs choice of QB (Red Rocket w/ 9pts instead of mouth-breather Eli’s 38pts) gauranteed their 4th consecutive loss.
    Capt took down TSMYTDS 102-79 in a snoozer.  Luck still sucked, this year for TSMYTDs, last year costing the Capt a title. C Palmer, the ageless wonder, went off for 28, doubling the “out-of-Lucks” 14pts.  20 from Tucker and 12 from the D was the difference in another Capt W.
   DSVP 124 over PIGG 76 in this weeks “Smackdown”! Brees went off for 44 and that was all it took.
  LO’s winning streak ended against the Ninja-Assasin GRID 130-101. 31 from ODB, 20 from Gurley and 17 from Gronk was enough to vanquish the hot hand of Devontae Freeman, 12 and Julios 20.
    DFUN looks done, LO is now beatable, Capt and Grid are rounding into playoff shape, TSMYTDs and PIGG are very hit and miss, DSVP could be dangerous and the Cats are literally the “Lucky Bastards” so far.   Let’s see what week 9 has for us………..

Week 9-
    TBIAC continues his climb up loser mountain (aka the West Division) with a 131-89 thumping of PIGG. A Brown 28, Eifert 23 and Fotre’s handcuff Langford with 22. PIGG with 32 from Rrraaawwwdddjjjaaass and 13 from Cooks was no match for the Capt.
    141-114 DSVP over TSMYTDs. In one of those “shame to lose” games, Tanner just got the short end of the fantasy stick.  DSVP exploded with Brees 31, Miller 25, Williams 36 ( more to come on Deangelo) and 18 from Hurns. TSMYTDs tried to keep up with 21 at QB, 17 from McCoy, 23 from Walker and 22 from the waiver wire pickup of the week, Sammy Watkins. Unfortunately a loss is still a loss despite the good effort.
    DFUN 88- LO 98. DFUN sure looks like a guaranteed W right now with their 5th defeat in a row. LO got back on track (can you say DFUN is a slump-buster)  with D Murray leading the way with 21.   DFUN had great games from all except 2 pts from “Muscle Hamster”  3 pts at TE, 5 pts at D and a big fat goose-egg, 0, at K.  Once again DFUN snatched defeat from the jaws of victory!!
     In a possible playoff deciding game, the horribly undermanned Cats took out Grid and his overpaid team of FFL experts 97-83.  The Cats team was made up of only waiver wire trash (after losing Bell, JC and Allen to injury), while Grid was at full strength and ready to play. Clearly his team of FFL analysts didn’t take into account “The Eye of the Tiger (Cat)”.  In a show of good sportsmanship, the Cats owner offered to bench his QB on Monday night to give his opposition a chance. It was refused and the brutal beat down commenced. This one got ugly!!

Week 10-
    108-62 TBIAC over the roller coaster that’s is DSVP.  Langford again with a big game, 29 and 27 from A Brown were enough to beat the poor Pugs this week  dropping them to 4-6 while the Capt reaches the summit of shit mountain at 5-5 and first place.
     In a battle of mortal enemies PIGG slips past TSMYTDs 99-34. Not a typo. 34. All positions filled. 34. All players played. 34. Kinda reminds me of week 7 (PIGG 41pts). Crazy thing is no one is out of it yet in this dumpster-fire of a division!!!
    Grid v DFUN, will the losing streak end?  Will DFUN crawl their way out of the Marianas Trench of a hole they dug for themselves. Will they make the playoffs and NOT have to pay the Cats $20 bucks? Nope. 122-84. Not even close. 6 L’s in a row.
     “Let’s Get ready to Rumbllllllllllee”. Cats take on LO for first place in the newly named “Super Bad-Ass, Everyone Else Blows, East Division”.  If you didn’t see this Battle Roy-Al in person, all this reporter can say is, too bad!  Evenly matched up (LO didn’t have Freeman or Julio, which actually made it even), the wanna be first time playoff contender, LO, came out swinging. But the wily veteran, Cats, stayed just outside her haymakers and took the fight in a decision.  The judges ruled for the Cats and their 28 pts from Kirk Cousins, a free agent pickup. Side not- for everyone, Kirk Cousins is a NFL QB for the Redskins. Second, the Redskins still have a team.  This lil piece of
waiver -wire genius put the Cats at 7 Ws in a row and first place!

    With 4 games to go…..
EAST- Cats 7-3, GRID 6-4, LO 6-4, and DFUN 4-6
WEST- TBIAC 5-5, DSVP 4-6, TSMYTDs 4-6, Pigg 4-6

Projected Playoff Bracket at week 10
Winners bracket
Cats v LO   Grid v TBIAC 
Losers bracket
Don’t care v loser 
Another loser v no one cares 

There are still 4 games left this season. Now is the time to make your move!! I can’t actually do math but I’m pretty sure everyone still has a chance. Except DFUN. They suck!
   

Week 7 or "Montezuma’s Revenge"

Short and late write up. Been in Mexico sitting in a pool drinking free booze. I assume everyone was doing the same?

 

Cats 104-41. Cats win streak continues without JC. Nothing can stop them now, NOTHING! PIGG got the “lucky break” award this week. We won’t go in depth into his 41 points. 41 freakin points?!?

    GRID 115-89.  Grid with a suddenly scary offense. TBIAC continues his pathetic losing streak.

     LO 118-92 over DSVP. Insert black stallion joke. ANOTHER win in a row. DSVP, another sad day.

    TSMYTDs 99-89 over DFUN. Big surprise. The soon to be impeached commish is falling apart sooner than previous years, but still on the road to Loserville!

    
   

Week 6 or "Of Winners, Losers and the Game…….pt 1)

Game 6 of 12. The halfway point of this wonderful FFL season! Many questions still to be answered. Some look to jump to the forefront of their division (LO), some look to fall into the pit of Shiva despair (DFUN) and some (the entire West Division) appear to not want to win or lose anything.  DFUN on a 2 game slide, TBIAC 3 game losing streak, LO 4 game W streak and the Cats on a 3 week Victory dance.  East Div still close with a tie for 1st between LO and DFUN, with Cats and GRID one game back, while the West has TSMYTDS and PIGG at 3-3 on top and TBIAC and DSVP on the bottom (not their first time “on bottom”).

    123-101 TSMYTDs over Grid. Andrew Luck and the NFL ALL PRO Team 2012 took down a tough, but unLUCKy GRID. Megatron and Fitz go for 22 and 9, Luck with 27 and big games from both RBs was enough to forget Stafford’s 33 on the pine.  GRID most likely would have won the contest if he had played 2 RBs…….. Oops, it appears he did have two warm bodies in those slots. Hyde, 5 and more surprisingly, Anderson with 6 (his best game of this season). Bryant’s 25 on the bench with Stewart’s 19 surely could have helped. The “Good Call Coach” award goes to the GRID head coach for handicapping his team into (another) loss.
     LO, again, riding her ebony steed proudly, takes down the dissapointing TBIAC team 102-82.  22, 17 and 27 from Brady, Murray (really?) and Freeman (finally, he had a bad game) helped put the Capt in a tie for last place in the loser, I mean, West division.  TBIAC was betrayed by his entire team except the Broncos 18 and Forte 16 (he’s not hurt yet?). The other 6 combined for 32. Roughly the weekly average of LO’s Freeman (I swear to God he is NOT human).  The good and bad for both teams are their benches. The good (for everyone else) is LO’s bench had 28 (this may be her kryptonite). That’s pitiful!! Let’s hope for injuries to her starters. The bad- (only bad for the Capt) TBIAC bench 27. Big changes need to be made for this team to even sniff the winners bracket (Cats GM answers all trade proposals!).
     DFUN 90-106 PIGG.  “Let’s Play the Fammmmmiiiillllyy Ffffuuuuueeeeedddd”!!!  Theses two hated rivals square up in FFL and at family holidays and vacations. They HATE each other!!  DFUN gets 21 from “the Ginger Torpedo” and 20 from the healthy, finally, Alshon.  -1 at D, 9 total at RB and 19 total on the bench seems to spell the end for DFUNs chances for post season glory (see Cats GM note above).  PIGG had solid games from everyone but Coleman (I told you to hit the waiver wire) and Cooks. Bench was solid at 39.  Definitely in contention for “not losing” the West Title.
    Former Co-Workers squared off in the “Shitty Job Bowl” sponsored by EAS!! As usual, Cats come out on top 111-89 over DSVP.  Rivers throws for OVER 500 yds and 2 TDS yet only scores 28 pts (the Commish has ruined our point system). 25 from Ivory, 15 from Allen and Barnidge (Gronk 2.0) turned this into a blowout!! DSVP wasted the one good game Lamar Miller, 17, will have this season.  As usual, K was a high point for the Pugs, 13. 63pts left on the bench, 63!! How didn’t he win the “Good Call Coach” award?  22 from a WR Hurns wouldn’t have made the difference and the rest were a push. Good bench? Mediocre Starters? Neither? Both? Luckily DSVP is in the West!!
MidSeason Stats
EAST- LO 4-2, DFUN 4-2, CATS 3-3, GRID 3-3
WEST-  TSMYTDS 3-3, PIGG 3-3, TBIAC 2-4, DSVP 2-4
High scorers
LO- 642, CATS- 622, GRID 596, TBIAC 593
Highest points against 
TSMYTDs-618, LO- 606, Cats-600, TBIAC-584
Defying the odds (and the numbers)
PIGG- PF=533 PA=555 record- 3-3 tied for 1st
TSMYTDs- PF=541 PA=618 record- 3-3 tied for 1st
Screwed by the numbers
GRID- PF=596 PA=524 record 3-3 tied for 2nd/last 
TBIAC- PF=593 PA=584 record 2-4 tied for DEAD LAST
This tells us one thing. This whole FFL thing is as much luck as skill (sort of). Some good teams will,  or won’t, make “the Dance”. Some crappy teams (anyone in the West) will make the playoffs due to the Commish’ horrible rule-making. “Of Winners, Losers and The Game” 
Editors note- SEND ME YOUR TRADE OFFERS!