Championship week has come and gone, the “Lucky Bastard” returns home, the Commish captures the “Sacko” and a new name, and the rest the horrible dreams of what could have been!!!
Losers- everyone but the Cats! Just kidding (I’m not kidding). TBIAC takes home the award for best team with the worst record. Not sure how he did it but it was fun to watch! TSMYTDs was the surprise of the season making the playoffs (albeit from the weakest division in FFL history) despite a roller coaster of a season. LO was gifted a RB duo early on and it was almost enough to make up for the Eddie Lacey #1 overall draft pick (????) and NEVER EVER accepting a trade offer! Pigg had a chance, but with no one but Raaaawwwwdddddjjjjaaaasss, he just didn’t have enough. DSVP was terrible. Terrible. (Someone needs to learn what is important in life and it’s not family and job!!!). Grid, again, fought his way into the Super Bowl…..and lost. All year long this blog had said Grid was the strongest team put had no bench. I guess his “experts” disagreed and made no moves despite every other team in the league being crushed by injuries. Grid went into the playoffs unscathed and on fire. Until ODB lost his shit (and found a suspension) and the injury bug finally hit! A final week of furious waiver wire action (all being looked at by the league office for collusion) gave him a full roster, but not a good one. Cats had rebuilt his team numerous times over the season after losing his top two picks to injuries, #1 WR to a kidney and Chris Ivory to mediocrity. David Johnson, Deangelo Williams (thanks DSVP!!) and Tim Hightower were the MVPs of the playoff run combining for 139pts in two games (23.1 pts per player per game average). The Cats take the trophy home again despite the fact that the starting Super Bowl champion QB was Matt Stafford. Matt freaking Stafford! Final score 127-85.
Great year! Take a few weeks off to recuperate then start hitting the mock drafts for “this is serious business” 2016! And the Commish will be emailing about the trophy presentation (boozefest).
I wrote a piece about this year, winning the “Lucky Bastard”, again, and my thoughts on our FFL league. When I re-read it, I found some similarities to Lebron’s “coming home” letter. Weird, I know!!
“The Lucky Bastard Coming Home”
Before anyone ever cared where I would play FFL, I was a kid from North Texas. It’s where I walked. It’s where I ran. It’s where I cried. It’s where I bled. It holds a special place in my heart. People there have seen me grow up. I sometimes feel like I’m their son. Their passion can be overwhelming. But it drives me. I want to give them hope when I can. My relationship with North Texas is bigger than FFL. I didn’t realize this four years ago (when I won the first championship). But now I do.
I’m not promising back-to-back championships. I know how hard that is to deliver. We’re not ready right now (it’s the off season). No way. Of course I want to win next year, but I’m realistic. It will be a long process, much longer than it was in 2015. My patience will be tested. I know I’m going into a situation with a young team. I will be the old head. But I get a thrill out of bringing a group together and helping them reach a place they didn’t know they could go.
I want kids in North Texas to realize that there is no better place to FFL. Maybe some of them will come home after college and start a FFL family or a FFL business. That would make me smile. Our community, which has struggled so much at FFL needs all the talent it can get.
In North Texas, no FFL WIN is given. Everything is earned. You work for what you have. I’m ready to accept the challenge. I’m coming home (to “this is serious business ” 2016).
This is best read in Morgan Freeman’s voice.
Author: lildceilingcats
Week 15 or "Tinker away, Tinkerbell, straight to NeverNever WinLand"- Jenny
Week 15 SHOCKER!!! DSVP loses to the “former” champ TBIAC 122-87. Shocking part was how close this one was. DSVP goes to the Sacko Bowl and Glass escapes the horrible shame and name-calling of playing in the loser championship game.
Familllllllyyyyy Fuuueeeedddd part 3. DFUN v Pigg. Loser goes to Sacko, winner moves on to mediocrity. And the winner is………. DFUN! They defeat the terrible northern aggressor and move on. Oooppppss, Steve Harvey does it again. PIGG is the winner and DFUN falls into the 7th level of Sacko-hell!
If you remember DFUN was 4-0. Just sayin.
In the second Faaammmiillllyyy Fuuueeeddd, Cats win 128-58. Boring. ESPN picked TSMYTD’S to win by 6. This is unsettling (see below)
In the one good game of the week, LO, the first timer took on the savvy vet and reigning champ GRID. It was up and down, hit or miss, a real nail-biter. In the end Sam Bradford and his horrible band of monkey-fucker Eagles gave up 14 pts to the Cards D and ended LO’s run for the crown. Unfortunately for the rest of us, GRID is back in the big game. Let’s pray for injuries or suspensions, or a steamroller. Something, anything, to stop the horrible GRID demolition team from keeping the “Lucky Bastard” in his 23,000sqf mansion next to Jerry Jones’ modest shack!
The 2 games that matter. Sacko-Bowl 2015! DFUN v DSVP. I think we all knew how this would end, didn’t we? DFUN is the projected winner 100-81 (see above disclaimer on ESPN projections).
“the Lucky Bastard”- Cats v Grid. Side note- trophy is named after the Cats first championship when all the doubters called the masterfully coached team “lucky” and the owner, Hallie, “bastard”. This is 100% true. Maybe. I’m not real sure, but it’s great bulletin board fodder for the Cats. Grid has been laying low over the last week. Occasionally sending sweet texts wishing the Cats luck. Obviously his highly paid team of experts have decided on a non-confrontational approach. Cats are dealing with 2 broken WRs, a QB position that hasn’t been filled and a coin toss on the 3rd RB. Grid’s team is going full bore down the tracks of victory. He has no reason to lose. I’m predicting a 124-65 win for the “champ”.
This just in…. ODB is a punk and is suspended. Stewart is being held out because his team is undefeated and they don’t need him. A successful waiver wire run (since NO ONE else even tried) put super talented players in those empty spots and the experts agree, Grid will win. ESPN on the other hand, has it Cats107-96. Again, see above disclaimer. Who will “tinker, tinker, tinker away to neverwin land”? We shall see.
Don’t forget, the “Lucky Bastard” winner names the Sacko Winner’s team next year! (I’ve already been working on names…..)
Week 14 or "Rafi- regarding the East Division – if someone says to you ‘take care of something’ that means light it on fire, right?"
Ceiling Cats 108-84. This would knock Pigg out of the winners division if……. About a thousand things happened. Cats move into the top spot if Grid loses or Second in the East if Grid wins. Deangelo with 20 and AJ with 19 and trade-rape Alshon 16 was just too much for Cam’s 22 and Marshall’s 18. Let’s see how this played out….
In the “game that doesn’t matter” LO takes out DSVP in the fashion he deserved 129-61. LO is in DSVP has been “out” since week 3!
In the Big D Bro-down, and a chance at the playoffs for the second highest scoring team in the league, TBIAC goes “down” on, I mean, to, Grid, 134-86, the highest scoring team in the league this year. Grid takes the dangerous #1 spot into the playoffs while TBIAC will spend his first of-season in losers hell, the consolation bracket. Wilson continues to dominate, Gurley had 26 and ODB may be the greatest WR in history. Upside, Stewart got injured. Hopefully that’s enough for someone to derail this FFL machine!
And in the game that would decide it all in the West, aka dumpster-fire, Division, TSMYTD’S took on DFUN. If both TSMYTD’S and Pigg won or lost and Pigg out scored TSMYTD’S by 31 pts he was in. Anything else and Tanner took the division. Lucky for TSMYTD’S that he played DFUN who ended his season as we all knew he would. With a L, 58-55. Nothing to break down on this game, they both sucked, TSMYTD’S just sucked less this week. Tanner wins the East!!
PF. PA. Record
Grid. 1537. 1227. 10-4
TBIAC. 1401. 1396. 5-9
Cats. 1368. 1191. 10-4
LO. 1364. 1431. 7-7
DSVP. 1274. 1357. 5-9
TSMYTD’S 1201. 1351. 7-7
Pigg. 1197. 1295. 6-8
DFUN. 1196. 1290. 6-8
These numbers prove one thing and one thing only. Nothing. How can you score the second most points and be tied for dead last (TBIAC)? How can you get oust scored by 150pts and be in the winners brackets (TSMYTD’S)? How can one team get scored against 240pts less than the highest team (Cats)? I for one lost to LO 158-157 and lost to TSMYTD’S 65-51. So this intrepid reporter has no clue? It’s one of the reason we all loves us sum FFL! That and when Grid loses he fires his entire FFL analytics staff. That’s always fun!!
Playoffs-
Grid v LO
Cats v TSMYTD’S
Projections
None. Let’s see how this season plays out!!!
Week 13 or " Whoever said " it’s not whether you win or lose that counts" probably lost.
A couple things we all knew coming into week 13. TBIAC had to win for any chance at controlling the EAST Div winners bracket entry. Grid and Cats were in. LO looked like a lock due to her enormous points lead over the hapless DFUN but, not a done deal. TSMYTD’S and PIGG held their destiny in their own hands. And the one “for sure, no brainier, done-deal”, DSVP is OOOUUUUTTTT!!! In this do-or-die week, some stepped up, some slipped and fell and some (DSVP) just continued to suck.
In the Family Fued, DFUN v PIGG, both teams desperately needed a win. Pigg to get to first place and DFUN to have an outside chance of overtaking LO. 99-67 Pigg. DFUNs dreams are once again crushed by the cruel, fickle gods of the FFL. Pigg somehow is tied for 1st place in the super competitive East ( notice I didn’t say “good” or “strong” or “mediocre” East Divison, cause it ain’t!). AP with 1, Jones 1, Benjamin 4…… You see where this is going. Pigg rode Cam’s 35 all over his kinfolk, much like his Yankee forefathers ran roughshod over the South.
Cats 95-82 over DSVP. End of DSVP. From winners bracket to first team out. Sad.
Grid against TSMYTD’S in a battle between the top teams in both divisions. Some reporters were calling this a championship preview and it lived up to all the hype. Grid slips past 114-11. Great games from both teams, with a season ending injury to M Ingram maybe being the difference. Tanner now has to regroup and hit the waiver wire hard to replace is RB stud. Grid continues to roll (keep praying for injury).
And in the showcase game of the week, LO v TBIAC. LO looking to grab her first seat at the “big-boys” table and TBIAC trying to stay in contention in what can only be described as “the worst division in FFL history” (quote from ESPN Matthew Berry (( don’t actually have proof of this quote)). LO is victorious again, 121-108. Brady and Robinson, 30 and 33 made up for Lacey’s 0. Panthers D (I think the Cats USED to have them) let down TBIAC and put him in a deep, deep, deep fantasy hole!!!
So with one game to play it breaks down like this-
IN- Grid, Cats, LO
OUT- DSVP, DFUN
?- TSMYTD’S, Pigg, TBIAC
The Lucky Bastard Scoring
PF. PA
Grid- 1403. 1141
TBIAC- 1315. 1262
LO- 1303. 1302
Cats- 1260. 1107
DSVP- 1145. 1296
TSMYTD’S- 1143. 1296
DFUN- 1141. 1232
PIGG- 1113. 1187
So far the ” Lucky Bastard” is PIGG with The lowest points scored and 2nd lowest points against but tied for 1st. The “big loser” is TBIAC with 2nd highest points yet a 5-8 record. Cats are 4th in points scored but absolute last in points scored against. DSVP gets the “screwed award” for 5th in points for but first to be out of the winners bracket. LO gets the “even” award at 1303 PF and 1302 PA. This just proves what we all know, the FFL Gods are CRAZY!!!!!
Week 14- if TSMYTD’S wins he is in as long as PIGG doesn’t win and out score him by 31pts. PIGG is in he if wins and outscores TSMYTDs by 31pts and TSMYTD’S loses. TBIAC is in if TSMYTD’S and PIGG lose. So it’s perfectly clear!!
TBIAC, former champion, is looking the Losers Bracket in the face. He must beat Grid this week and hope for losses to TSMYTD’S and PIGG to get to the dance despite the fact he has out scored every team but the current champ Grid. That has got to HURT!!!!!
Week 11, 12 or "Better to go out like this than in some senseless tragedy-Truman Sparks
week 11-12
Shockingly this FFL season is quickly coming to an end. Some are fighting to get into the winners bracket for a chance at the “Lucky Bastard” and some are just being losers (you know who you are). Just Kidding, according to my math, after week 12, everyone still has a chance. (I doubt this is true, DSVP sucks, and DFUN will find a way to blow it again, and my math skills are HIGHLY questionable). More on playoff predictions later….
DFUN takes out TBIAC 101-96. This looks like the first year TBIAC will be the favorite in the playoffs. In the losers bracket. DFUN is still fighting back from their EPIC mid-season collapse.
GRID crushes DSVP 135-49. 49? Every position filled?. No injuries? 49 pts? WTF??
PIGG 91-65 over the slumping LO. Without her “black stallion” LO has been struggling. PIGG, who has scored in the 40’s twice this year, is still viable in the dumpster-fire of the WEST division. LO is fighting for the fourth spot in the winners bracket with a chance to move up, or fall completely out.
CATS allowed TSMYTDS to win 65-51. This was completelya strategic move by the Cats head coach/waiver wire genius/GM of the year. The masses will understand when the Cats master plan is revealed. Or it was just a really bad week?
Week 12-
TBIAC fighting to make the playoffs…. Have to win….Must win game…..Loss to Cats 110-88 despite being a 8.5pt fav. Great pickups by the Cats (see above awards/titles/declarations) Ware 17pts in place of JC who blew out a knee, who was replaced by West who pulled a hammy. The Cats team has been described as a “combination of Fergie and Jesus.” This writer agrees.
Grid continues to look like the first “Lucky Bastard” back-to-back winner, crushing team Pigg. 108-86. GRID starters are an awesome group! Hopefully there will be injuries, because his bench is as scary as DSVP’s starters (not scary). Pigg is still in this at one game back with two to go (predictions to follow).
LO continues to sliiiiiiiddeee, losing 82-100 to surging TSMYTDs. Despite a -2 from Romo, TSMYTDS takes the W with great games from Megatron and the Bengals D. LO continues to struggle at RB with various injuries. This victory and the TBIAC loss puts Tanner in sole possession of first place in the “short bus” division.
DSVP 74- DFUN 82. 29 from AP puts DFUN in the lottery of the “winners bracket”. 4-8 puts DSVP as the biggest long shot for the winners bracket this year. I’d do the math but, seriously, why waste the time!!
The Commish and the humble writer of this Pulitzer Prize Blog nominee sat down with NASA and MIT Mathematics Dept and came up with a rock-solid prediction for the last two weeks leading into the playoffs. Warning- this could be shocking news to some teams (DSVP). Please look at it responsibly……
This would put the Cats at #1 vs. DFUN and TBIAC vs Grid in a back to back rematch. Losers division goes like this… Losers, no one cares.
Good luck, 2 games left, anything can happen. Except DSVP winning. We can all agree on that!!
Week 8, 9, 10 or "The Rise (Cats) and Fall (DFUN) of a FFL Empire"
Week 8-
DFUN continued their epic slide, losing to the surging Cats 95-73. DFUNs choice of QB (Red Rocket w/ 9pts instead of mouth-breather Eli’s 38pts) gauranteed their 4th consecutive loss.
Capt took down TSMYTDS 102-79 in a snoozer. Luck still sucked, this year for TSMYTDs, last year costing the Capt a title. C Palmer, the ageless wonder, went off for 28, doubling the “out-of-Lucks” 14pts. 20 from Tucker and 12 from the D was the difference in another Capt W.
DSVP 124 over PIGG 76 in this weeks “Smackdown”! Brees went off for 44 and that was all it took.
LO’s winning streak ended against the Ninja-Assasin GRID 130-101. 31 from ODB, 20 from Gurley and 17 from Gronk was enough to vanquish the hot hand of Devontae Freeman, 12 and Julios 20.
DFUN looks done, LO is now beatable, Capt and Grid are rounding into playoff shape, TSMYTDs and PIGG are very hit and miss, DSVP could be dangerous and the Cats are literally the “Lucky Bastards” so far. Let’s see what week 9 has for us………..
Week 9-
TBIAC continues his climb up loser mountain (aka the West Division) with a 131-89 thumping of PIGG. A Brown 28, Eifert 23 and Fotre’s handcuff Langford with 22. PIGG with 32 from Rrraaawwwdddjjjaaass and 13 from Cooks was no match for the Capt.
141-114 DSVP over TSMYTDs. In one of those “shame to lose” games, Tanner just got the short end of the fantasy stick. DSVP exploded with Brees 31, Miller 25, Williams 36 ( more to come on Deangelo) and 18 from Hurns. TSMYTDs tried to keep up with 21 at QB, 17 from McCoy, 23 from Walker and 22 from the waiver wire pickup of the week, Sammy Watkins. Unfortunately a loss is still a loss despite the good effort.
DFUN 88- LO 98. DFUN sure looks like a guaranteed W right now with their 5th defeat in a row. LO got back on track (can you say DFUN is a slump-buster) with D Murray leading the way with 21. DFUN had great games from all except 2 pts from “Muscle Hamster” 3 pts at TE, 5 pts at D and a big fat goose-egg, 0, at K. Once again DFUN snatched defeat from the jaws of victory!!
In a possible playoff deciding game, the horribly undermanned Cats took out Grid and his overpaid team of FFL experts 97-83. The Cats team was made up of only waiver wire trash (after losing Bell, JC and Allen to injury), while Grid was at full strength and ready to play. Clearly his team of FFL analysts didn’t take into account “The Eye of the Tiger (Cat)”. In a show of good sportsmanship, the Cats owner offered to bench his QB on Monday night to give his opposition a chance. It was refused and the brutal beat down commenced. This one got ugly!!
Week 10-
108-62 TBIAC over the roller coaster that’s is DSVP. Langford again with a big game, 29 and 27 from A Brown were enough to beat the poor Pugs this week dropping them to 4-6 while the Capt reaches the summit of shit mountain at 5-5 and first place.
In a battle of mortal enemies PIGG slips past TSMYTDs 99-34. Not a typo. 34. All positions filled. 34. All players played. 34. Kinda reminds me of week 7 (PIGG 41pts). Crazy thing is no one is out of it yet in this dumpster-fire of a division!!!
Grid v DFUN, will the losing streak end? Will DFUN crawl their way out of the Marianas Trench of a hole they dug for themselves. Will they make the playoffs and NOT have to pay the Cats $20 bucks? Nope. 122-84. Not even close. 6 L’s in a row.
“Let’s Get ready to Rumbllllllllllee”. Cats take on LO for first place in the newly named “Super Bad-Ass, Everyone Else Blows, East Division”. If you didn’t see this Battle Roy-Al in person, all this reporter can say is, too bad! Evenly matched up (LO didn’t have Freeman or Julio, which actually made it even), the wanna be first time playoff contender, LO, came out swinging. But the wily veteran, Cats, stayed just outside her haymakers and took the fight in a decision. The judges ruled for the Cats and their 28 pts from Kirk Cousins, a free agent pickup. Side not- for everyone, Kirk Cousins is a NFL QB for the Redskins. Second, the Redskins still have a team. This lil piece of
waiver -wire genius put the Cats at 7 Ws in a row and first place!
With 4 games to go…..
EAST- Cats 7-3, GRID 6-4, LO 6-4, and DFUN 4-6
WEST- TBIAC 5-5, DSVP 4-6, TSMYTDs 4-6, Pigg 4-6
Projected Playoff Bracket at week 10
Winners bracket
Cats v LO Grid v TBIAC
Losers bracket
Don’t care v loser
Another loser v no one cares
There are still 4 games left this season. Now is the time to make your move!! I can’t actually do math but I’m pretty sure everyone still has a chance. Except DFUN. They suck!
Week 7 or "Montezuma’s Revenge"
Short and late write up. Been in Mexico sitting in a pool drinking free booze. I assume everyone was doing the same?
Cats 104-41. Cats win streak continues without JC. Nothing can stop them now, NOTHING! PIGG got the “lucky break” award this week. We won’t go in depth into his 41 points. 41 freakin points?!?
GRID 115-89. Grid with a suddenly scary offense. TBIAC continues his pathetic losing streak.
LO 118-92 over DSVP. Insert black stallion joke. ANOTHER win in a row. DSVP, another sad day.
TSMYTDs 99-89 over DFUN. Big surprise. The soon to be impeached commish is falling apart sooner than previous years, but still on the road to Loserville!
Week 6 or "Of Winners, Losers and the Game…….pt 1)
Game 6 of 12. The halfway point of this wonderful FFL season! Many questions still to be answered. Some look to jump to the forefront of their division (LO), some look to fall into the pit of Shiva despair (DFUN) and some (the entire West Division) appear to not want to win or lose anything. DFUN on a 2 game slide, TBIAC 3 game losing streak, LO 4 game W streak and the Cats on a 3 week Victory dance. East Div still close with a tie for 1st between LO and DFUN, with Cats and GRID one game back, while the West has TSMYTDS and PIGG at 3-3 on top and TBIAC and DSVP on the bottom (not their first time “on bottom”).
123-101 TSMYTDs over Grid. Andrew Luck and the NFL ALL PRO Team 2012 took down a tough, but unLUCKy GRID. Megatron and Fitz go for 22 and 9, Luck with 27 and big games from both RBs was enough to forget Stafford’s 33 on the pine. GRID most likely would have won the contest if he had played 2 RBs…….. Oops, it appears he did have two warm bodies in those slots. Hyde, 5 and more surprisingly, Anderson with 6 (his best game of this season). Bryant’s 25 on the bench with Stewart’s 19 surely could have helped. The “Good Call Coach” award goes to the GRID head coach for handicapping his team into (another) loss.
LO, again, riding her ebony steed proudly, takes down the dissapointing TBIAC team 102-82. 22, 17 and 27 from Brady, Murray (really?) and Freeman (finally, he had a bad game) helped put the Capt in a tie for last place in the loser, I mean, West division. TBIAC was betrayed by his entire team except the Broncos 18 and Forte 16 (he’s not hurt yet?). The other 6 combined for 32. Roughly the weekly average of LO’s Freeman (I swear to God he is NOT human). The good and bad for both teams are their benches. The good (for everyone else) is LO’s bench had 28 (this may be her kryptonite). That’s pitiful!! Let’s hope for injuries to her starters. The bad- (only bad for the Capt) TBIAC bench 27. Big changes need to be made for this team to even sniff the winners bracket (Cats GM answers all trade proposals!).
DFUN 90-106 PIGG. “Let’s Play the Fammmmmiiiillllyy Ffffuuuuueeeeedddd”!!! Theses two hated rivals square up in FFL and at family holidays and vacations. They HATE each other!! DFUN gets 21 from “the Ginger Torpedo” and 20 from the healthy, finally, Alshon. -1 at D, 9 total at RB and 19 total on the bench seems to spell the end for DFUNs chances for post season glory (see Cats GM note above). PIGG had solid games from everyone but Coleman (I told you to hit the waiver wire) and Cooks. Bench was solid at 39. Definitely in contention for “not losing” the West Title.
Former Co-Workers squared off in the “Shitty Job Bowl” sponsored by EAS!! As usual, Cats come out on top 111-89 over DSVP. Rivers throws for OVER 500 yds and 2 TDS yet only scores 28 pts (the Commish has ruined our point system). 25 from Ivory, 15 from Allen and Barnidge (Gronk 2.0) turned this into a blowout!! DSVP wasted the one good game Lamar Miller, 17, will have this season. As usual, K was a high point for the Pugs, 13. 63pts left on the bench, 63!! How didn’t he win the “Good Call Coach” award? 22 from a WR Hurns wouldn’t have made the difference and the rest were a push. Good bench? Mediocre Starters? Neither? Both? Luckily DSVP is in the West!!
MidSeason Stats
EAST- LO 4-2, DFUN 4-2, CATS 3-3, GRID 3-3
WEST- TSMYTDS 3-3, PIGG 3-3, TBIAC 2-4, DSVP 2-4
High scorers
LO- 642, CATS- 622, GRID 596, TBIAC 593
Highest points against
TSMYTDs-618, LO- 606, Cats-600, TBIAC-584
Defying the odds (and the numbers)
PIGG- PF=533 PA=555 record- 3-3 tied for 1st
TSMYTDs- PF=541 PA=618 record- 3-3 tied for 1st
Screwed by the numbers
GRID- PF=596 PA=524 record 3-3 tied for 2nd/last
TBIAC- PF=593 PA=584 record 2-4 tied for DEAD LAST
This tells us one thing. This whole FFL thing is as much luck as skill (sort of). Some good teams will, or won’t, make “the Dance”. Some crappy teams (anyone in the West) will make the playoffs due to the Commish’ horrible rule-making. “Of Winners, Losers and The Game”
Editors note- SEND ME YOUR TRADE OFFERS!
Week 5 or "Oh How the mighty have fallen"
DFUN Goes down! The undefeated season is over. Somewhere, the 1972 Dolphins are drinking a toast to the Commish’s demise. DSVP 116 DFUN 100. Without D Martin’s (this guy still plays football?) 33 and Eli’s slobber covered 28pt outburst, this would have gotten UGLY! DSVP rode the Patriots RB, WR and D for 45 and 21 from Antonio Gates, back from suspension (great pickup!). Clearly this is the end of DFUN’s failed attempt at making the playoffs. Vegas odds have them going 0-7 to finish another sad, sad season. DSVP rebounded from an 0-3 start to be in a 4 way tie for first (what a bullshit division!!) at 2-3. I’m personally voting for league contraction. Lot of dead weight in the West (Capt, we are looking at you).
GRID 100 over PIGG 49. Not a mistype. 49. All positions filled. No injuries. 49 points
Another beat down, LO RIDES her black stallion Freeman to another victory over TSMYTDs 103-63. Brady 25, Demarco Murray 17 (equaling his SEASON total) and a poor Julio Jones day, 11pt brought another W to LO. TSMYTD’S just didn’t show up. 11 from Foster, Sanders and the resurgent Fitz. No double digits from anyone else. Will TSMYTD’S call it quits? Will he fight back against the horribly weak West division? Will any team in that dumpster-fire division reach .500? We shall see. (Vegas side note to follow)
Finally, the highest score of the week…….the second win in a row……..the 29th straight victory over TBIAC and his former team name (he thought a name change would change his luck)…..and a tie for first place in the West……(cue wheels screeching followed by car crash noise). Cats destroy TBIAC 133-107. Both teams 2-3. TBIAC in tie for first place. Cats in fourth in East. WTF!!!!! Waiver wire magic, as usual, by the Cats, sealed the deal. Barnidge 19 and Packers 22 along with Bell’s mediocre day of 18pt and a K with 13 was just too much for the absolute best game TBIAC could possibly expect from his group of losers. Some have compared TBIAC team to Lamar Odom. Stats look good, potential looks good……married a Kardashian……….fucked over the Mavs………went to a brothel……..now in intensive care from too much organic Viagra. (OK, not real sure about this comparison. GRID sent all the corroborating evidence to the Editor-In-Cheif of this blog. From what I’ve seen it’s only a couple of pics of Kourtney K and twenty empty bottles of EXTENZE. But the boss says write it, so I write it).
The Pulizter prize nominated writer of this blog was recently in Vegas and had a “sit-down” with the official sports book prognosticator. These are his findings…… PIGG will start a complete roster of nothing but backup players resulting in the lowest score in league history. LO, majestically seated upon her ebony mount (Freeman,) will make the playoffs and lose in the first round when the league realizes he (Freeman) is not human and suspends him. TSMYTD’S will take his “NFL All-Pro Team 2012” all the way to the Title. (as stated many times prior, the FFL Gods are fickle). Cats will trade his entire team by the end of the season. Will talk about it for the next twenty years to anyone who will/or won’t, listen. GRID will disappear. That’s it. He’ll just not respond anymore. DSVP, in the weak-ass West Division, will continue to be third. TBIAC will be sent to Huntsville after his attempted murder of the Cats owner following his 74th straight loss to the “Lil d”. DFUN will make his own league. Consisting of DFUN and no one else……. He will find a way to lose……..
Week 4 or "I’m kind of a big deal"- Ron "DFUN" Burgundy
So week 4 has come and gone and with it came the shocking upsets, injuries and big wins we are used to seeing. 2 favorites won, 2 got smacked down. Everyone has a win and only one has NO losses. Lots of waiver wire action as teams twist and tweek their lineups. Some teams (GRID) failed to recognize excellent trade offers. Injuries have started to take their toll along with the hated bye weeks! Depth will be playing a very large part for the rest of the season. So, for some, go find that next piece to build your bench. For the others who don’t have a bench to start with…. your screwed (Grid, PIGG)!!
DFUN 84-78 over TBIAC in a huge upset. The Capt was a 24pt favorite to start the day but ends up falling to 2-2. Palmer and Forte were the only two starters to actually not suck. Luckily for DFUN, Spillers 16 and Hillmans 16 combined with Bradfords 23 (yup, can’t actually believe I’m writing this. Sam Bradford was not the worst player in the league Sunday) on the bench was the end for TBIAC. The Commish and trade-rape Jones (9 pts) win again. That’s 4-0 for those who aren’t paying attention. Taco. Fiery Ginger Dalton got 17, AP 15 and no jail time this week, some dude named Charles Clay 11 and GRID castoff Crowell 12. FFL Luck WILL catch up with DFUN…….I hope. TBIAC is in the middle of the pack right now. Maybe a big trade could change that? Or maybe he is just gonna sit and wait for Big Ben to comeback and make his team relevant again. Guess we shall see.
GRID was a 13 pt fav over winless Pugs. Final… DSVP 81 GRID 52!!! First, despite their scores, they both fielded a full team of active, not good, players. Nothing to note in this game, see the score, except the exceptional lack of talent on the defending champs team. No running game at all with Beast-mode still in Bitch-mode, ODB getting roughed up by every D he sees (I smell an injury coming) and no bench to speak of. Gronk is the only bright spot until he breaks his forearm or forgets to go the game (he is STUPID, like Eli Manning mouth-breather stupid) and Hopkins who has to catch ugly ducks tossed by Mallett or Hoyer. Good luck with that! GRID may have to start making moves or risk losing the trophy that his team of FFL experts fought so hard for him to “win” last year.
DSVP 1-3 now and still searching for the “right” lineup. Nothing great on bench but all are usable (Brees, Edelman, Ellington, Gates, Blount) if they get hot or others get hurt.
(Above photo and caption provided by TBIAC. The publisher of this blog does not agree or disagree with TBIAC’s opinions and denies any part of this mean-spirited meme)
LO 80-67 over PIGG. ESPN actually got this point spread correct! Crazy!! LO on a two game winning streak while the “Yankee” is on a win loss win loss pattern. L0 left some points on the bench but didn’t need them. PIGG left V Jax’s 20 sitting and Raaawwwddddjjjjaaasss let his team down, only scoring 15 (I’d trade him away) and the old man S Smith got injured early on. LO got another ridiculous day from Freeman, 32, and no one else. May be a good time for her to build up her team in a mutually beneficial trade!!
And NOW THE FAMILY FUED!! Cats owner Holamon vs TSMYTDs owner T Holamon. Cats were 4 pt favs to start and 43 pt winners at the end. Hola has some bright spots with Arian Foster coming back and Fitz playing well. Bench is beat up pretty good with Luck, McCoy and Bell. Cats on the other hand scored 157 (loss) last week and was high score this week with 96. Cats bench…. Despite Adams being out……… Out scored everyone…..everyone….. Including the Cats starters. The Cats GM is awaiting your calls.
One quarter through our FFL season and it’s time to look at the numbers and see who is for real and who is on borrowed time.
EAST
DFUN 4-0 PF-367 (least) PA-327 (least)
LO 2-2 PF-437 (most) PA-461 (most)
GRID. 2-2 PF-395 (2nd) PA-352 (2nd least)
CATS. 1-3 PF-378 (3rd). PA-404 (2nd most)
WEST
TBIAC. 2-2 PF-404 (most). PA-349 (least)
PIGG. 2-2. PF-378 (2nd). PA-365 (2nd most)
TSMYTDs. 2-2. PF-355 (3rd). PA-414 (most)
DSVP. 1-3. PF-316 (least). PA-358 (2nd least)
LO is the bad luck winner for the first four while DFUN is by far the “lucky bastard” with the least points scored and least scored against him and 4-0!
Week 5 will clarify everything. Guaranteed. Just like ESPN projections.
Guatanteed!
