This is Serious Business FFL

    One fluke beat down, two close ones and a shoot-out for Week 1!  Many strange things happened (Cats losing) on the opening week of FFL 2015!  Is Peyton finished (5 pts)? Are TE’s the new dominate force (27, 23, 22, 22, 18, 14, 13, 11, 11, 11)?  Will Chip Kelley be DeMarco Murrays kryptonite (8 carries 9 yds)? Will Gronk set a record for points scored (pray for injury or some kind of Gronk-gate to slow him down)? Should we even have K’s (-1 Cats, 4 Grid) or try and play multiple K’s (DSVP 18, LO 17)?  Is AP going to get “swatted” of the top RB list (10 for 31yds)?  Many questions and only 13 weeks left till the Shiva-Bow playoffs!!!
    Yankees v Team K-  Pigg 90- 83 DSVP. RRaaahhhddggeerrrss goes for 22, no surprise. A Morris with 121yds, surprise! Solid game from Marshall and Graham 11, 12pts.  This was enough to beat DSVP’s K who was about the only player to suit up this weekend. Bree’s continues to decline, 16 pts. 10 pts total for starting RB’s and DSVP’s FLEX injured (what a BIG surprise, I had him last year).  Pigg needs some RB help and DSVP needs to travel back in time and re-draft. (Editors note- these opinions are based on fact and stat calculation and spite. We do not condone or agree with any predictions herein).
     Team Quick Start v Team Dissapointing- DFUN wins snoozer 90-74 over sad Cats. 14 from the Ravens D, 18 from Big Ben, Hill 18 and many bad days for the Cats team sealed the deal. 21 from Chris Ivory, 15 from JC AND Dolphins 14. Tannehill sucked, 14 pts combined for RB, WR, WR, and TE killed any chance of winning. Oh yeah, almost forgot, -1 for K. Bad day, bad loss to inferior team (see editors notes above).  DFUN will face challenges with Dez out 4-6 weeks and if AP continues downhill.  Cats either had a bad week or a terrible draft. We will see
     Capt Lucky v Team So Close- GRID starts out just as he finished last season, with a W. No post championship slacking here. Gronk. Nuff said. Carlos Hyde 29 WTF? Panthers 22 (they WERE playing JAC). Hopkins 23 with that QB dumpster fire in HOU? So freakin lucky!  Poor LO, second most points scored…..Loss.  What could LO have done differently? RB, RB, WR, TE, K and D were really nice. FLEX? Zero points for DeSean Jackson (injured) Rashad Jennings on bench with 11. That would have closed the 143-121 gap, but not enough. Hmmmmmm….. what else could LO have done……? Maybe start Brady and his 27pts instead of rag-arm Manning 5pts?  Who could have known?  Grid will fall back to earth with a middle-of-the-road team and no bench, or most likely continue getting lucky week by week.  LO has a nice team but some glaring holes. Will LO sit on her team like last year or make some tough decisions and fight for the playoffs? Again, we shall see.
     Taco Bowl- SMYTD’s edges out TBIAC 106-102 thanks to OU Sooner Sam Bradfords losing ways!!!! With a chance to win, Bradford tossed another INT, -2, to seal the fate for the former CAPT and the EAGLES😄. SMYTD’s had big games from Kelce 22, Allen 16, Luck 17 and the Jets D 14.  TBIAC made it through week 1 without Forte 22, being injured. A. Brown continues dominating with 19 and the Broncos D tossed in 18.  SMYTD’s looking pretty solid if McCoy can play like 2013 and Kelce is for realz.  Capt will continue to struggle as long as Bradford is leading his team (to the losers bracket for the first time, next to DFUN, not HIS first time). Tying his WR to Bradford also seems like a bad idea, Matthews, but the Capt has been questioned before and has his name on the Shiva trophy. We will see what happens in upcoming weeks
    Conclusions-  TE was ridiculous this week.  Maybe it’s early on safety blanket play? Maybe everyone wants a Gronk? I bet next week cools off at the position, except for the Cats whose TE did nada this week. Comeback time!! Broncos and Peyton? New offenseive scheme? Great Ravens D? If the decline is real many of us have a problem (Thomas, Sanders, Anderson, etc). If it’s a one week blip, things will get back to normal. I’m betting somewhere in the middle.
     NEXT WEEK- Cats v Grid, Pigg v TBIAC, SMYTD’s v DSVP AND DFUN V LO.
Will teams make moves? (Possible) Will TBIAC send Cats a ridiculously unfair trade offer? (Most
likely). Will LO play Manning or Brady (or bench both somehow)? Will DSVP START 7 kickers (should)? Many questions, no answers, just ridiculous commentary and 13 weeks to go!!

Ceiling Cats training camp 2015

Welcome to “This is Serious Business” 2015!  Last year was another horribly disappointing season that ended, disappointingly, with the GRID taking home the trophy. Sheer luck? Timing? Hard work and study? No. GRID, and Capt, hired outside representation to draft and run their teams.  They got the idea from Dr Andre from “the League”. But much like Dre, they have been OUTED.  As cheaters, not the other “outed”……..yet.

Addendum-  forgot someone, oopsie!

Payouts

Draft Day

    The Capt’s struggles have begun, despite keeping his winning streak alive. Week 12 was 1 player move away from his first loss since week 2. But, a victory nonetheless over the Cats who left Beckhams 26 on the bench. This also was the first week of a Monster Trade between the Cats and Pigg (Bree’s, Olsen, Jennings, Hopkins for Rodddjjjaaas and Thomas).  Rodddjjjaaas 19, Thomas 0. How will this trade turn out? I guess we shall see….
    Pigg loss to Grider. Bree’s 27, Jennings 11, Olsen on bye and Hopkins 3. Grider had huge games from everyone but his QB and WR (who was injured). Is this Grider team strong enough to go all the way? Will his head coach continue to make poor decisions on start/sit? Will homeless people keep knocking on his door at 5am? Is this where his amazing draft came from? A homeless FFL savant that drops by with his weekly picks at the crack of dawn? I think yes. (See lower Greenville panhandler story on google).
    DFUN, once in charge of the second playoff position in the East division, loses his 3rd in a row to DSVP who is fighting for the second spot in the West.  Once again DFUN tinkers with his team and has Fleeners 2 start and Walkers 15 sit and Lafells 9 watch as Cobb falls flat with 5. Can DFUN get a new head coach in time to save his season? Will he fail to make the winners bracket AGAIN?  Is this the beginning of the most epic fail in FFL history? I think yes.
    Hola loss to LO. Hola’s luck continues with another close loss, 85-83.  Romo and the Bills showed up big with 48 combined, and if you can do the math, that’s more than half his entire output.  LO seems to be sneaking back into the Wests playoff picture with this entirely unimpressive victory.  Will LO continue to move up the rankings? Can she score more than 100 pts? Will Hola drop Brees to waivers? (Oops, that happened last year).  I think yes.
   Week 12 ends with Capt and Grider clinching the top two spots. Cats, DFUN and LO are still fighting it out (DFUNs been less fighting and more chocking as of late). DSVP has small lead on PIGG, but, after pulling the trigger on the Monster trade, will Pigg make a run at the winners bracket?

Week 13, A New Hope. Or Epic Fail
     Capt continues to struggle, but wins 90-80 over LO hurting, but not ending, her playoff hopes. Again, one player move (Stafford for Tannehill) would have ended Capt’s streak and put LO in the winners bracket drivers seat. But it didn’t happen. Again. 100pts for LO. Nope. Moving up in rankings. Nope
     Grider takes out Hola. Same story for Hola, Different week. Huge early games from Bell 22, Mason 33 and Megatron 26 gave everyone hope for a Grider loss. Too bad the rest of his team scored 33 combined. Grider escapes the “Golden Taco” by having good games from all his starters and no coaching mistakes (for a change).  Maybe his “assistant coach” came by a little earlier this week?
     Cats shoot down DSVP 100-73. Rodddjjjaaas has 24 and Thomas doesn’t play again. Maybe that trade was a bad idea?  But, the victory puts the Cats into the lead for the playoffs (but only if DFUN loses his 4th, yes 4th, in a row).  Being swept by the Cats this year tightens the West race between DSVP and Pigg ( but only if Pigg wins and scores ALOT). Let’s see what happened!!
    In the most pivotal game of this FFL season DFUN…….. CHOKES again!! Team PIGGCats blows UP! 134-103 final.  Trade players- Brees 30, Jennings 21, Olsen 5, Hopkins 35.  Total= 91pts!! This DFUN loss (4th in a row) puts the Cats in second place alone! The Cats GM was awarded the trophy for executive of the year following this game. When asked “what is best in life” the Cats GM/Head coach quoted Conan the Barbarian “crush your enemies, see them driven before. Hear the lamentations of their women”. There were NO follow up questions.
    Going into week 14….. Capt and Grider in #1 spots. In the West- DSVP in 2nd. PIGG needs a DSVP loss and to out score him by 34 to steal the second spot. With his “new” team, it could happen!
In the East- DFUN plummets to a tie with LO, both a game back from the Cats.  Cats win and they are in. If DFUN loses (AGAIN!!!) and LO loses Cats are in.  If Cats lose and DFUN wins and out scores Cats by 8, DFUN is in. If DFUN and Cats lose and LO out scores them by 201 the LO is in (ain’t happening). So, last week of the regular season and all but one team still have a chance. Capt has been playing down to his opponents. He was quoted “I’m resting my guys for the playoffs”. Grider keeps winning but hasn’t been dominate as of late. DSVP has some big wins but was also able to lose to the Cats twice. Pigg maybe hitting his stride at the right time, or last week was a fluke and he will be watching the playoffs from home.  LO was one player away from knocking off the Capt and putting herself in a tie for second place. But she didn’t. Cats….. Who knows. Could win could lose, but his resiliency over this tough season has been inspiring ( at least I think so!) Hola was just a few players away each game. Some bad luck and some bad players sealed his fate. Winners bracket last year, losers this year. And last and least DFUN. A win ANYTIME over the last 4 would have put him in second. Two wins and almost guaranteed playoffs. But dropping 4 in arow has him on the outside looking in, again.  DFUNs first winners bracket playoff seems to be fading away, again.
    Next week- the questions are answered.
   

Finally some actual drama besides what outfit DSVP is going to wear today or if LO has jumped off a cliff!  Two games came down to Monday night, another touch and go all Sunday, and then there was the Capt. pulling a “Cosby” on DFUN! I LOVE FFL on FFL VIOLENCE!!!!
     7 TDS ( a little under the Capt’s average) was plenty to curb stomp DFUN 125-70.  The Commish was in trouble when Peyton played like Eli and scored a lowly 15. Asiata, Bryant  and Gano combined for 5 pts while AJ Greens 18 was wasted this weekend.  Everyone on Capt went for double digits except  Ingram 9 and LIONS 4.  Both were taken out of the locker-room and quickly, but not quietly, “put down” as a warning to the others. Be afraid, be very afraid of the Capt!
     The Cats rolled to a 70-57 W over Hola. This barn burner started as a -27 fav for the Cats. At one point Hola was -12pt fav. Back and forth, back and forth (as much as a 127 pt combined game can sway).  Both teams failed to even drive to their respective stadiums this weekend much less suit up for game time.  This happens on occasion (see all PIGG victories!!)  This win makes it 2 wins in a row for the Cats, otherwise known as a WINNING STREAK!!
     LO v Pigg in a must win for LO and a néed to win for Pigg. 0 pts at RB2 and TE (injury) hurt Pigg and LeVeon Bells 27 pts on MNF sealed the deal for LO 82-73.  Neither had much on the bench (or on the field).  Laces Out stay in the fight for the winners bracket and Team Piggs road to the playoffs just got rocky! What these two teams need is a big blockbuster trade to shake things up, clear the room, recommit to winning! Will either be brave enough, foresighted enough, hungry enough to risk it all to win it ALL?   The next 3 games will tell the tale.
     DSVP v Grid. 87-82 DSVP.  In a close game,  Grid goes down like a OakLawn tranny,easy and for the price of a box of Chardonnay (as the Capt once described to me in minute detail). Bishop Sankey and Antonio Brown weren’t enough on Monday Night to steal the victory over the 6-5 Pugs.  Hilton and Graham combined for 4 pts for Grid, while Sanu and Allen totaled 2 for DSVP.  As we have all seen, FFL is any given team on any given Sunday. Either team could have won or lost this battle but the Fantasy Gods seem to be angry with Grid (haha!!!) or happy with DSVP and he now has a firm grasp on the second spot in the winners bracket (unless PIGG does something dramatic! See above)
   So Week 11 is done. Good games, surprises, last minutes and ass whippings (DFUN). It brings us to  3 weeks to go and rankings that look like this…
EAST.                                                        WEST
Grid 8-3 1144PF 981PA.                             Capt 9-2  1300PF 927PA
Cats 5-6  1071PF 1080PA.                          DSVP 6-5 1027PF 959PA
DFUN 5-6 1056PF 1090 PA.                      Pigg 5-6     925PF 942PA
LO.      4-7 897PF 1108PA.                         Hola 2-9.    777PF 1110 PA

Finally, two games came down to Monday night! Grid v DFUN and Capt v DSVP in the battle of the top 4.  The other two, well, not that exciting unless you like a bloodbath!
    Capt v DSVP. This one was almost a rout before DSVP Def went wolverine all over The Panthers scoring 31. If his WR TE and FLEX could have done anything at all, the Capt’s streak would have ended! Final 104-97.  Would have been closer but Philly D gave up some late garbage TDs. Capt made some serious coaching mistakes with Benjamin 19 and Ingram 13 sitting. Seems like the Capt’s bunch is wearing down as the season continues. Let’s all hope for injuries to follow!!
   Grid v DFUN. Final 111-100 Grid.  This was much closer than the final score shows. At halftime Grids QB and RB had combined for 2 pts. Cam Newton ended with 12pts thanks to the two garbage time TDs in the 4th quarter (see above) when his teams fate had been sealed.  As for last weeks GUARANTEE, Big Ben got the start for DFUN and scored…….13.  Just 22 pts below last week and 5 less TDs. Lucky for DFUN, he can thank his coach for this loss (Manning on the bench! with 29).
    The BLOWOUTS-
  Pigg v Hola. 131-71. Pigg had huge game from Raaddjjjaaaass 36 and Dez 27 and the normal 18 from J Thomas.  Hola got -3 from Dalton. Yep negative 3 from a QB.  Bright side- Megtron is back and went for 17. Either of Hola’s backup QBs would have been an improvement but even combined, this one would still be a massacre.
    Cats 138 v LO 63. Marshawn Lynch 40! LeVeon Bell 6. (Cats are glad LO didn’t take that trade offer!!) 11 TDs for the Cats, and bad days from most of LOs lineup, turned this game into a runaway victory for the surging Cats team!
   The Force Awakens?-  Grid and Capt remain  on the top at 8-2 after escaping with narrow victories this week. DFUN and DSVP at 5-5 after losing to the above Dbags. PIGG 5-5 after crushing Hola (currently in third in the West on points scored). Cats at 4-6 and one game out of the playoff picture (the young Jedi Cats seem to be fighting off the darkside that has plagued them throughout the year and appear to be hitting their stride at the right time).  LO 3-7 and Hola 2-8 on the bottom.
    Points Against leaders (aka- a bad place to be) Hola 1040, LO 1035, Cats 1023
    Points Scored Leaders (aka- a good thing) Capt 1175, Grid 1062, Cats 1001
Looks like DFUN and Cats fighting for the second spot in winners bracket in the East and DSVP and Pigg battling in the West. With 4 games left in the regular season, this could get exciting!!
Week 11-  the battle rages on!

Week 9. Grid and Capt roll on, DFUN and DSVP continue as the top of the remaining teams, while Pigg, LO and Hola COMBINED to barely defeat Grid. Cats, continue doing what they do. Third highest total of the week. Loss. (Side note- just to prove the FFL gods are angry at the angelic Cats, 3/4 of the way to completing this blog entry, the Cats ipad blacked out, losing all data)

Week 8
The slaughter of the innocents continues- episode 2
  In a very Game of Thrones “Red Wedding” the closest game was a 25 point spread.  Theses weeks happen so don’t get to upset or too happy (unless your LO, then get used to being the Ray Rice punching bag).   The big boys showed up again ( Capt, Grid) and the usurpers to the throne (DFUN, DSVP) all won by a combined 34,235 pts which is probably a record ( unofficial record).  Either this is the end of parity or just another f’ed up week in FFL.  I’m hoping for a fluke. And I still hate Joffrey!
     In a -13 pt game, Grid won by 62. Another great projection by ESPN! Lesean McCoy continues to disappoint, this time with 9 pts on 24 touches. Upside, Brady 34, Murray 20, Brown 25, Hilton 21, and Vike-queens D 20 sealed the deal. LO left plenty on the bench but it wouldn’t have mattered. Final 158-96. Which, sadly is one of LO’s highest weeks. (Should have taken the trade offer).
    In the nail-biter of the week, DSVP squeaks by Pigg 96-71.  Clearly this conference is the weak sister of the League since both are fighting for 2nd place behind the horribly overrated Capt and his band of overachievers, and this is all they can muster.  A 12pt game from DSVP’s QB is fixed by a 15 pt Justin Tucker kicking game. Pigg had a great game from QB 24, RB 14 and WR 13. Unfortunately a 0 at RB, 2 at TE and 0 at FLEX signed the death warrant, and beheading,  for the Pigg team. Neither had anything on the bench worth playing, starting or even being on a FFL ROSTER.
     In a heated battle of bitter rivals ( hard to call rivals, with one in the winners bracket every year and a trophy while the other sits outside like a good puppy dog and watches from a distance in the
LOSERS bracket). ESPN says EVEN. Final score 147-71. Cats got nothing, from anyone. Nothing.  DFUN has their day with  23, 35,9,18,21 from QB RB WR and 15, 12 from Kicker and D. Clearly a sign of the apocalypse when this train wreck of a team beats a clearly dominate force (see Dallas v Washington). More on this later….
    Capt was – 10 pt fav in this battle of heavy weights over HOLA. Final 181 to 64.  First, the league record was NOT broken! Cats with 182 (unofficial record). Second, 64 pt MAY be a record low (don’t care).  Capt continues on his TD splurge, 10 this week. HOLA 6 ( with his team and bench combined).

This season DFUN has scored 108, 107, 47, 85, 110, 82, 101, 147.
This season GRID has scored.  90, 111, 94, 116, 79, 83, 78, 158.
This season DSVP has scored  69, 87, 65, 91, 121, 100, 114, 96
This season LO      has scored  109, 85, 52, 82, 99, 94, 62, 96
This season Cats has scored     105, 91, 107, 76, 117, 109, 79, 71
This season Pigg has scored.     70, 95, 101, 61, 78, 97, 71, 71
This season HOLA has scored   86, 77, 82, 84, 49, 54, 95, 64
This season CAPT  has scored.  81, 85, 100, 113, 144, 112, 120, 181( not a record)
Sooooooo, DFUN 5 games above 100 pts, GRID with 2, DSVP 3, LO 1, CATS 4, PIGG 1, HOLA 0, Capt 6.
 FFL is cray cray! Week 9, same cray cray.
 

Week 7

Here we go!  Some teams are starting to pull away from the pack while some are falling to the earth, majority is still fighting it out for the playoff winners bracket.
    Capt v Grid. The big boys so far this season face each other in the “Big D” bowl.  Yep, they are both residents of the hated big d, but the bowl game is based on what team Hola calls them behind their backs, “Big Douche-bags”. Kinda harsh but Hola HATES them both!!  Capt was -7 pt favorite, and as usual ESPN nailed the prediction. Final 120-78.  Grid had 4 players show up, Brady 22, Murray 18, and Brown 13 and Hilton 10 while everyone else combined for 15. Capt has been on a roll of late with seemingly every player scoring a TD weekly. Starters had 9 this week (ray of hope- his bench only had 10). Let’s pray for injury and Ebola to take these two formidable opponents out of commission.
   Hola v DFUN. The Commish was -12 fav and won  by 6 in an exciting matchup. Huge games by Peyton and his WR’s was enough to take down Hola’s 23pt shocker from Ben Vereen. 10 pts on the bench in Fitzgerald would have turned the tides for team Hola. Too bad:(
   DSVP v LO in the blowout of the week 114-62.  DSVP had 36pt from Wilson and 29 from Thomas which, by themselves, was enough for the victory. Enough said.
   Cats v Pigg- nail biter of the week. Cats, -37 pt fav, went into Monday with no players left and a 20 pt lead. Pigg had Julius Thomas, M Crabtree and Denver D. It did not look good for the beloved Cats! But for the first time this season the FFL Gods smiled down on the tiny Lil Ceiling Cats and Piggs 3 went for 13! As guaranteed last week- Cats WIN!
  Breakdown- Capt is clearly the front runner at this point after destroying Grid and barely squeezing by the Cats in week 5. Hopefully injuries and/or the end of his scoring tsunami will slow him down.  DFUN and DSVP look like they are trending up, but there is a lot of football to be played.  Cats, Pigg, LO, Hola are on the FFL merry-go-round. I hope it stops soon, it’s making me sick!
And Grid, prediction- winless for rest of season. Reasons- cause it would be funny!
  Next week- the slaughter of innocents continues (seriously)