This is Serious Business FFL

Ceiling Cats 108-84.  This would knock Pigg out of the winners division if……. About a thousand things happened. Cats move into the top spot if Grid loses or Second in the East if Grid wins. Deangelo with 20 and AJ with 19 and trade-rape Alshon 16 was just too much for Cam’s 22 and Marshall’s 18.  Let’s see how this played out….

 

  In the “game that doesn’t matter” LO takes out DSVP in the fashion he deserved 129-61. LO is in DSVP has been “out” since week 3!

  In the Big D Bro-down, and a chance at the playoffs for the second highest scoring team in the league, TBIAC goes “down” on, I mean, to, Grid, 134-86, the highest scoring team in the league this year.  Grid takes the dangerous #1 spot into the playoffs while TBIAC will spend his first of-season in losers hell, the consolation bracket.  Wilson continues to dominate, Gurley had 26 and ODB may be the greatest WR in history.  Upside, Stewart got injured. Hopefully that’s enough for someone to derail this FFL machine!

   

 And in the game that would decide it all in the West, aka dumpster-fire, Division, TSMYTD’S took on DFUN.  If both TSMYTD’S and Pigg won or lost and Pigg out scored TSMYTD’S by 31 pts he was in. Anything else and Tanner took the division.  Lucky for TSMYTD’S that he played DFUN who ended his season as we all knew he would. With a L, 58-55.  Nothing to break down on this game, they both sucked, TSMYTD’S just sucked less this week. Tanner wins the East!!

                     PF.         PA.      Record

Grid.             1537.    1227.      10-4

TBIAC.          1401.    1396.      5-9

Cats.             1368.    1191.     10-4

LO.                1364.    1431.      7-7

DSVP.           1274.     1357.      5-9

TSMYTD’S    1201.     1351.     7-7

Pigg.             1197.     1295.     6-8

DFUN.           1196.     1290.     6-8

   

    These numbers prove one thing and one thing only. Nothing. How can you score the second most points and be tied for dead last (TBIAC)? How can you get oust scored by 150pts and be in the winners brackets (TSMYTD’S)? How can one team get scored against 240pts less than the highest team (Cats)?  I for one lost to LO 158-157 and lost to TSMYTD’S 65-51. So this intrepid reporter has no clue?  It’s one of the reason we all loves us sum FFL! That and when Grid loses he fires his entire FFL analytics staff. That’s always fun!!

    Playoffs-

Grid v LO

Cats v TSMYTD’S 

    Projections

None. Let’s see how this season plays out!!!

     A couple things we all knew coming into week 13. TBIAC had to win for any chance at controlling the EAST Div winners bracket entry.  Grid and Cats were in.  LO looked like a lock due to her enormous points lead over the hapless DFUN but, not a done deal.  TSMYTD’S and PIGG held their destiny in their own hands. And the one “for sure, no brainier, done-deal”, DSVP is OOOUUUUTTTT!!!  In this do-or-die week, some stepped up, some slipped and fell and some (DSVP) just continued to suck.

    In the Family Fued, DFUN v PIGG, both teams desperately needed a win. Pigg to get to first place and DFUN to have an outside chance of overtaking LO. 99-67 Pigg.  DFUNs dreams are once again crushed by the cruel, fickle gods of the FFL.  Pigg somehow is tied for 1st place in the super competitive East ( notice I didn’t say “good” or “strong” or “mediocre” East Divison, cause it ain’t!). AP with 1, Jones 1, Benjamin 4…… You see where this is going.  Pigg rode Cam’s 35 all over his kinfolk, much like his Yankee forefathers ran roughshod over the South.

    Cats 95-82 over DSVP.  End of DSVP.  From winners bracket to first team out. Sad.

    Grid against TSMYTD’S in a battle between the top teams in both divisions. Some reporters were calling this a championship preview and it lived up to all the hype.  Grid slips past 114-11. Great games from both teams, with a season ending injury to M Ingram maybe being the difference.  Tanner now has to regroup and hit the waiver wire hard to replace is RB stud.  Grid continues to roll (keep praying for injury).

    And in the showcase game of the week, LO v TBIAC.  LO looking to grab her first seat at the “big-boys” table and TBIAC trying to stay in contention in what can only be described as “the worst division in FFL history” (quote from ESPN Matthew Berry (( don’t actually have proof of this quote)).  LO is victorious again, 121-108.  Brady and Robinson, 30 and 33 made up for Lacey’s 0. Panthers D (I think the Cats USED to have them) let down TBIAC and put him in a deep, deep, deep fantasy hole!!!

     So with one game to play it breaks down like this-

IN- Grid, Cats, LO 

OUT- DSVP, DFUN

?- TSMYTD’S, Pigg, TBIAC 

 

The Lucky Bastard Scoring

                          PF.                        PA

Grid-                  1403.                   1141

TBIAC-               1315.                   1262

LO-                    1303.                   1302

Cats-                 1260.                    1107

DSVP-               1145.                    1296

TSMYTD’S-       1143.                    1296

DFUN-               1141.                    1232

PIGG-                1113.                    1187

So far the ” Lucky Bastard” is PIGG with The lowest points scored and 2nd lowest points against but tied for 1st.  The “big loser” is TBIAC with 2nd highest points yet a 5-8 record.  Cats are 4th in points scored but absolute last in points scored against.  DSVP gets the “screwed award” for 5th in points for but first to be out of the winners bracket. LO gets the “even” award at 1303 PF and 1302 PA. This just proves what we all know, the FFL Gods are CRAZY!!!!!

     Week 14- if TSMYTD’S wins he is in as long as PIGG doesn’t win and out score him by  31pts. PIGG is in he if wins and outscores TSMYTDs by 31pts and TSMYTD’S loses. TBIAC is in if TSMYTD’S and PIGG lose. So it’s perfectly clear!!

   TBIAC, former champion, is looking the Losers Bracket in the face. He must beat Grid this week and hope for losses to TSMYTD’S and PIGG to get to the dance despite the fact he has out scored every team but the current champ Grid. That has got to HURT!!!!!

week 11-12
   Shockingly this FFL season is quickly coming to an end.  Some are fighting to get into the winners bracket for a chance at the “Lucky Bastard” and some are just being losers (you know who you are). Just Kidding, according to my math, after week 12, everyone still has a chance. (I doubt this is true, DSVP sucks, and DFUN will find a way to blow it again, and my math skills are HIGHLY questionable). More on playoff predictions later….
   DFUN takes out TBIAC 101-96.  This looks like the first year TBIAC will be the favorite in the playoffs. In the losers bracket.  DFUN is still fighting back from their EPIC mid-season collapse.
   GRID crushes DSVP 135-49. 49? Every position filled?.  No injuries?  49 pts? WTF??
    PIGG 91-65 over the slumping LO.  Without her “black stallion” LO has been struggling.  PIGG, who has scored in the 40’s twice this year, is still viable in the dumpster-fire of the WEST division.  LO is fighting for the fourth spot in the winners bracket with a chance to move up, or fall completely out.
    CATS allowed TSMYTDS to win 65-51.  This was completelya strategic move by the Cats head coach/waiver wire genius/GM of the year.  The masses will understand when the Cats master plan is revealed.  Or it was just a really bad week?

Week 12-
   TBIAC fighting to make the playoffs…. Have to win….Must win game…..Loss to Cats 110-88 despite being a 8.5pt fav.  Great pickups by the Cats (see above awards/titles/declarations) Ware 17pts in place of JC who blew out a knee, who was replaced by West who pulled a hammy.  The Cats team has been described as a “combination of Fergie and Jesus.”  This writer agrees.
   Grid continues to look like the first “Lucky Bastard” back-to-back winner, crushing team Pigg. 108-86.  GRID starters are an awesome group! Hopefully there will be injuries, because his bench is as scary as DSVP’s starters (not scary).  Pigg is still in this at one game back with two to go (predictions to follow).
     LO continues to sliiiiiiiddeee, losing 82-100 to surging TSMYTDs.  Despite a -2 from Romo, TSMYTDS takes the W with great games from Megatron and the Bengals D.   LO continues to struggle at RB with various injuries. This victory and the TBIAC loss puts Tanner in sole possession of first place in the “short bus” division.
    DSVP 74- DFUN 82.  29 from AP puts DFUN in the lottery of the “winners bracket”.  4-8 puts DSVP as the biggest long shot for the winners bracket this year.  I’d do the math but, seriously, why waste the time!!
    The Commish and the humble writer of this Pulitzer Prize Blog nominee sat down with NASA and MIT Mathematics Dept and came up with a rock-solid prediction for the last two weeks leading into the playoffs.  Warning- this could be shocking news to some teams (DSVP).  Please look at it responsibly……

   This would put the Cats at #1 vs. DFUN and TBIAC vs Grid in a back to back rematch. Losers division goes like this… Losers, no one cares.

Week 8-
   DFUN continued their epic slide, losing to the surging Cats 95-73.  DFUNs choice of QB (Red Rocket w/ 9pts instead of mouth-breather Eli’s 38pts) gauranteed their 4th consecutive loss.
    Capt took down TSMYTDS 102-79 in a snoozer.  Luck still sucked, this year for TSMYTDs, last year costing the Capt a title. C Palmer, the ageless wonder, went off for 28, doubling the “out-of-Lucks” 14pts.  20 from Tucker and 12 from the D was the difference in another Capt W.
   DSVP 124 over PIGG 76 in this weeks “Smackdown”! Brees went off for 44 and that was all it took.
  LO’s winning streak ended against the Ninja-Assasin GRID 130-101. 31 from ODB, 20 from Gurley and 17 from Gronk was enough to vanquish the hot hand of Devontae Freeman, 12 and Julios 20.
    DFUN looks done, LO is now beatable, Capt and Grid are rounding into playoff shape, TSMYTDs and PIGG are very hit and miss, DSVP could be dangerous and the Cats are literally the “Lucky Bastards” so far.   Let’s see what week 9 has for us………..

Week 9-
    TBIAC continues his climb up loser mountain (aka the West Division) with a 131-89 thumping of PIGG. A Brown 28, Eifert 23 and Fotre’s handcuff Langford with 22. PIGG with 32 from Rrraaawwwdddjjjaaass and 13 from Cooks was no match for the Capt.
    141-114 DSVP over TSMYTDs. In one of those “shame to lose” games, Tanner just got the short end of the fantasy stick.  DSVP exploded with Brees 31, Miller 25, Williams 36 ( more to come on Deangelo) and 18 from Hurns. TSMYTDs tried to keep up with 21 at QB, 17 from McCoy, 23 from Walker and 22 from the waiver wire pickup of the week, Sammy Watkins. Unfortunately a loss is still a loss despite the good effort.
    DFUN 88- LO 98. DFUN sure looks like a guaranteed W right now with their 5th defeat in a row. LO got back on track (can you say DFUN is a slump-buster)  with D Murray leading the way with 21.   DFUN had great games from all except 2 pts from “Muscle Hamster”  3 pts at TE, 5 pts at D and a big fat goose-egg, 0, at K.  Once again DFUN snatched defeat from the jaws of victory!!
     In a possible playoff deciding game, the horribly undermanned Cats took out Grid and his overpaid team of FFL experts 97-83.  The Cats team was made up of only waiver wire trash (after losing Bell, JC and Allen to injury), while Grid was at full strength and ready to play. Clearly his team of FFL analysts didn’t take into account “The Eye of the Tiger (Cat)”.  In a show of good sportsmanship, the Cats owner offered to bench his QB on Monday night to give his opposition a chance. It was refused and the brutal beat down commenced. This one got ugly!!

Week 10-
    108-62 TBIAC over the roller coaster that’s is DSVP.  Langford again with a big game, 29 and 27 from A Brown were enough to beat the poor Pugs this week  dropping them to 4-6 while the Capt reaches the summit of shit mountain at 5-5 and first place.
     In a battle of mortal enemies PIGG slips past TSMYTDs 99-34. Not a typo. 34. All positions filled. 34. All players played. 34. Kinda reminds me of week 7 (PIGG 41pts). Crazy thing is no one is out of it yet in this dumpster-fire of a division!!!
    Grid v DFUN, will the losing streak end?  Will DFUN crawl their way out of the Marianas Trench of a hole they dug for themselves. Will they make the playoffs and NOT have to pay the Cats $20 bucks? Nope. 122-84. Not even close. 6 L’s in a row.
     “Let’s Get ready to Rumbllllllllllee”. Cats take on LO for first place in the newly named “Super Bad-Ass, Everyone Else Blows, East Division”.  If you didn’t see this Battle Roy-Al in person, all this reporter can say is, too bad!  Evenly matched up (LO didn’t have Freeman or Julio, which actually made it even), the wanna be first time playoff contender, LO, came out swinging. But the wily veteran, Cats, stayed just outside her haymakers and took the fight in a decision.  The judges ruled for the Cats and their 28 pts from Kirk Cousins, a free agent pickup. Side not- for everyone, Kirk Cousins is a NFL QB for the Redskins. Second, the Redskins still have a team.  This lil piece of
waiver -wire genius put the Cats at 7 Ws in a row and first place!

    With 4 games to go…..
EAST- Cats 7-3, GRID 6-4, LO 6-4, and DFUN 4-6
WEST- TBIAC 5-5, DSVP 4-6, TSMYTDs 4-6, Pigg 4-6

Short and late write up. Been in Mexico sitting in a pool drinking free booze. I assume everyone was doing the same?

 

Cats 104-41. Cats win streak continues without JC. Nothing can stop them now, NOTHING! PIGG got the “lucky break” award this week. We won’t go in depth into his 41 points. 41 freakin points?!?

Game 6 of 12. The halfway point of this wonderful FFL season! Many questions still to be answered. Some look to jump to the forefront of their division (LO), some look to fall into the pit of Shiva despair (DFUN) and some (the entire West Division) appear to not want to win or lose anything.  DFUN on a 2 game slide, TBIAC 3 game losing streak, LO 4 game W streak and the Cats on a 3 week Victory dance.  East Div still close with a tie for 1st between LO and DFUN, with Cats and GRID one game back, while the West has TSMYTDS and PIGG at 3-3 on top and TBIAC and DSVP on the bottom (not their first time “on bottom”).

    123-101 TSMYTDs over Grid. Andrew Luck and the NFL ALL PRO Team 2012 took down a tough, but unLUCKy GRID. Megatron and Fitz go for 22 and 9, Luck with 27 and big games from both RBs was enough to forget Stafford’s 33 on the pine.  GRID most likely would have won the contest if he had played 2 RBs…….. Oops, it appears he did have two warm bodies in those slots. Hyde, 5 and more surprisingly, Anderson with 6 (his best game of this season). Bryant’s 25 on the bench with Stewart’s 19 surely could have helped. The “Good Call Coach” award goes to the GRID head coach for handicapping his team into (another) loss.

     LO, again, riding her ebony steed proudly, takes down the dissapointing TBIAC team 102-82.  22, 17 and 27 from Brady, Murray (really?) and Freeman (finally, he had a bad game) helped put the Capt in a tie for last place in the loser, I mean, West division.  TBIAC was betrayed by his entire team except the Broncos 18 and Forte 16 (he’s not hurt yet?). The other 6 combined for 32. Roughly the weekly average of LO’s Freeman (I swear to God he is NOT human).  The good and bad for both teams are their benches. The good (for everyone else) is LO’s bench had 28 (this may be her kryptonite). That’s pitiful!! Let’s hope for injuries to her starters. The bad- (only bad for the Capt) TBIAC bench 27. Big changes need to be made for this team to even sniff the winners bracket (Cats GM answers all trade proposals!).

     DFUN 90-106 PIGG.  “Let’s Play the Fammmmmiiiillllyy Ffffuuuuueeeeedddd”!!!  Theses two hated rivals square up in FFL and at family holidays and vacations. They HATE each other!!  DFUN gets 21 from “the Ginger Torpedo” and 20 from the healthy, finally, Alshon.  -1 at D, 9 total at RB and 19 total on the bench seems to spell the end for DFUNs chances for post season glory (see Cats GM note above).  PIGG had solid games from everyone but Coleman (I told you to hit the waiver wire) and Cooks. Bench was solid at 39.  Definitely in contention for “not losing” the West Title.

    Former Co-Workers squared off in the “Shitty Job Bowl” sponsored by EAS!! As usual, Cats come out on top 111-89 over DSVP.  Rivers throws for OVER 500 yds and 2 TDS yet only scores 28 pts (the Commish has ruined our point system). 25 from Ivory, 15 from Allen and Barnidge (Gronk 2.0) turned this into a blowout!! DSVP wasted the one good game Lamar Miller, 17, will have this season.  As usual, K was a high point for the Pugs, 13. 63pts left on the bench, 63!! How didn’t he win the “Good Call Coach” award?  22 from a WR Hurns wouldn’t have made the difference and the rest were a push. Good bench? Mediocre Starters? Neither? Both? Luckily DSVP is in the West!!

MidSeason Stats

EAST- LO 4-2, DFUN 4-2, CATS 3-3, GRID 3-3

WEST-  TSMYTDS 3-3, PIGG 3-3, TBIAC 2-4, DSVP 2-4

High scorers

LO- 642, CATS- 622, GRID 596, TBIAC 593

Highest points against 

TSMYTDs-618, LO- 606, Cats-600, TBIAC-584

Defying the odds (and the numbers)

PIGG- PF=533 PA=555 record- 3-3 tied for 1st

TSMYTDs- PF=541 PA=618 record- 3-3 tied for 1st

Screwed by the numbers

GRID- PF=596 PA=524 record 3-3 tied for 2nd/last 

TBIAC- PF=593 PA=584 record 2-4 tied for DEAD LAST

This tells us one thing. This whole FFL thing is as much luck as skill (sort of). Some good teams will,  or won’t, make “the Dance”. Some crappy teams (anyone in the West) will make the playoffs due to the Commish’ horrible rule-making. “Of Winners, Losers and The Game” 

Editors note- SEND ME YOUR TRADE OFFERS!

     DFUN Goes down! The undefeated season is over. Somewhere, the 1972 Dolphins are drinking a toast to the Commish’s demise. DSVP 116 DFUN 100. Without D Martin’s (this guy still plays football?) 33 and Eli’s slobber covered 28pt outburst, this would have gotten UGLY!  DSVP rode the Patriots RB, WR and D for 45 and 21 from Antonio Gates, back from suspension (great pickup!).  Clearly this is the end of DFUN’s failed attempt at making the playoffs. Vegas odds have them going 0-7 to finish another sad, sad season. DSVP rebounded from an 0-3 start to be in a 4 way tie for first (what a bullshit division!!) at 2-3. I’m personally voting for league contraction. Lot of dead weight in the West (Capt, we are looking at you).

So week 4 has come and gone and with it came the shocking upsets, injuries and big wins we are used to seeing. 2 favorites won, 2 got smacked down.  Everyone has a win and only one has NO losses. Lots of waiver wire action as teams twist and tweek their lineups.  Some teams (GRID) failed to recognize excellent trade offers. Injuries have started to take their toll along with the hated bye weeks! Depth will be playing a very large part for the rest of the season. So, for some, go find that next piece to build your bench. For the others who don’t have a bench to start with…. your screwed (Grid, PIGG)!!

(Above photo and caption provided by TBIAC.  The publisher of this blog does not agree or disagree with TBIAC’s opinions and denies any part of this mean-spirited meme)

    And NOW THE FAMILY FUED!! Cats owner Holamon vs TSMYTDs owner T Holamon. Cats were 4 pt favs to start and 43 pt winners at the end. Hola has some bright spots with Arian Foster coming back and Fitz playing well.  Bench is beat up pretty good with Luck, McCoy and Bell. Cats on the other hand scored 157 (loss) last week and was high score this week with 96. Cats bench…. Despite Adams being out……… Out scored everyone…..everyone….. Including the Cats starters.  The Cats GM is awaiting your calls.

      One quarter through our FFL season and it’s time to look at the numbers and see who is for real and who is on borrowed time.
EAST
DFUN     4-0   PF-367 (least)      PA-327 (least)
LO           2-2   PF-437 (most)     PA-461  (most)
GRID.      2-2   PF-395 (2nd)      PA-352 (2nd least)
CATS.      1-3   PF-378 (3rd).     PA-404 (2nd most)

WEST
TBIAC.      2-2   PF-404 (most).   PA-349 (least)
PIGG.         2-2.  PF-378 (2nd).     PA-365 (2nd most)
TSMYTDs. 2-2.  PF-355 (3rd).     PA-414 (most)
DSVP.         1-3.  PF-316 (least).   PA-358 (2nd least)

LO is the bad luck winner for the first four while DFUN is by far the “lucky bastard” with the least points scored and least scored against him and 4-0!

   Week 5 will clarify everything. Guaranteed. Just like ESPN projections.

     Two close games  and two beat downs.  Things happened in week 3 that could only be explained by angry FFL Gods or just the “end of times” are nigh.  A backup nobody RB (Freeman) goes for 37, a has-been (C2K) scores twice, a millionaire cologne/underwear thief (Randle) steals 27 and an old old man (S. Smith) hits 30!  J Charles gets held down by his head coach (moron Andy Reid), Big Ben went down with a knee injury, trade-rape (J. Jones) hits 19, and the “Beast-mode” goes “Bitch-mode” with 1. This reporter is not sure if anything cleared up this week or if this thing is still up in the air (being 0-3, I believe it’s still up in the air).

ULate report for Week 2, sorry. Not really. Moving on to the highlights (or lowlights for some).