Week 14 or "Why are you so sweaty?…..I was watching FFl" -Dale Doback and Brennan Huff

          Oooooooooooooooook, lets get caught up on a few missing weeks.   Cats won about half their games, the Capt went on a winning streak that pulled him from the losers playoffs to a possible #1 seed.  LO is right there at the top, as is Grider (though not as safe) and Pigg (same as Grider).  The Commish and DSVP are struggling to be the top dog in the bracket of shame.  TSMYTDs goes into the last week as #8, but within striking distance.  5 teams are playing in week 14 for only 4 spots in the promised land.  Parity in the NFL has come to “This is Serious Business” and no team has broken away.  In the East, Cats and LO are 8-5 with Grider one back at 7-6.  In the usually horrid West division, TBIAC is 8-5 with Pigg hunting him down at 7-6.  And to make it even more fun, the FFL Gods have set a great lineup for us this weekend!!

     Cats v Pigg- Pigg needs the win to have a better chance at the winners bracket.  One game back in the West division, buuuuuuuuuuuttt, leading in points scored over TBIAC, if The Capt loses, (this comes into effect when there is a tie).  Also tied with Grider at 7-6 for the last position but no chance of catching him in points.  Cats are ALMOST assured the bracket of winning due to a top record and the most points scored overall.  Though positioning could go anywhere from 1-4.

     Grid v TBIAC- this is the one to watch this week!!  Grider is in a must win, TBIAC is in a “want to” win.  If Grider wins, and LO loses, he gets in and she may not.  If Grider wins and outscores the Cats by 57 and LO wins, then Grid can move on with the Cats on the edge.  If the Capt wins, then Grider is looking in from the outside, if Pigg beats the Cats.
  

    DSVP vs Lo- Lo wins and she is in.  DSVP wins, LO is in trouble and DSVP will go to the top of the bracket of bad.
  

   TGPBS vs TSMYTDS- no drama here except who is last in a bracket full of last.

     This has been an outstanding year!  Pigg auto-drafted and is on the brink of the promised land.  TBIAC went from the losers side to possibly the big dawg.  Grider overcame a VERY mediocre roster to possibly play for the trophy.  DSVP isn’t last. LO has proven she has the skillz to pay the billz with back to back winners bracket.  TSMYTDs swaps places with TBIAC, from top to bottom bracket.   And finally to the  Commish, the first Sacko winner.  Proudly displaying the fiery balls of sadness in his living room for the entire season……  he clearly wants that trophy to stay put! If  DSVP, TSMYTDS and one other lucky person want that trophy for their own they will  have to fight The Team Grider’s Power Bottoms tooth and nail all the way to the sad, pathetic end!
    Good Luck to everyone tomorrow.  Sorry for the blank weeks in writing.  Let’s all enjoy the Playoffs.  Except for the Power Bottoms.  I love that name.

Week 9 or TGPBs on Bottom "It’s a law, like water or dinosaurs"- Taco

     Time has flown by as quickly as points scored against the Power Bottoms!  LO is still on top, DSVP has crawled out of Fantasy hell and is on a 3 game win streak, Pigg continues to win games because no one can score against him.  TSMYTDs is fighting for playoff position in the pitiful, oops, in the surprisingly not pitiful West Division.  TBIAC, despite being deluged with points against, is in the hunt, as are perennial contenders, Grider and the Cats.  Quick review of this weeks games then off to the stat line!

     Team Pigg’s adversary TBIAC was able to break the 70pt wall that our northern friend has constructed, allowing the Capt to win 84-74.  Drew 24, and Antonio 14 led the way for TBIAC while Murray 30 and D Harris 17, sat the pine.  Pigg had another great game from Zeke 21, 16 from ODB and a big fat ZERO from trade-rape Spencer Ware. Luckily for the Capt, Pigg sat 27pts from Evans and 19 from Rivers.  The once pitiful dumpster-fire of a division has been making strides to legitimacy (much like our new President!!).

     POWER BOTTOMS WIN, THE POWER BOTTOMS WIN!!  In a game with the headline “When hell freezes over” the TGPBs shocked the FFL world by topping the #1 ranked LO.  Marriota tossed 25, Williams caught 12, 15 hard earned points from waiver wire pick up Ravens D, and Yeldon actually broke double digits with 10.  Obviously the Bottoms played their best players this week since Big Ben was the only player on the bench to score.  At one time TGPBs had 7, yes 7 players on bye, a new FFL record! Congrats. 

 Lo got 23 from Dak15, from Forte, 19 from Gore and 11 from the little guy, Beasley.  Somehow it wasn’t enough to “dominate” the Power Bottoms.  So, again we see that anything can happen in hot team on team FFL action!

     DSVP 99-74 TSMYTDs.  Pugs are on a UUUUUUUUUUGE winning streak!  Taco continues to hang around the playoff contenders.  Jameis Winston stole 21 while Ingram rumbled for 28pts after getting his ass benched last week, and 11 from Moncrief coming off his injury. TSMYTDs just had no one show up big this week.  Lots of low double-digit scores mixed in with some low single-digit scores.  Witten with 19 and Bortles 21 were the top scorers. They were also on the bench. sad face.

     The Cats took a much needed week off while Team Grider and his team of Oaklawn dancing queens played a scrimmage that doesn’t count and never officially happened. 125-94 in this game that, I repeat, never happened and doesnt’ count.

Everyone still has a chance to get to the winners bracket.

1. LO 6-3     2. TBIAC 5-4 (division leader)     3. Grider 5-4 (points)     4. Cats 5-4
5. Pigg 5-4     6.  DSVP 4-5     7.  TSMYTDs 3-6 (points)     8.  TGPBs 3-6

Points FOR
1. Grider 911     2. CATS 906     3.  LO 903 ( all three in the EAST division)    4. TBIAC 844
5.  Pigg 817     6. DSVP 806     7.  TSMYTDs 752( all 4 in WEST division and)  8. PBs 732

Points AGAINST
1. Pigg, by a mile, 668     2. LO 808     3. DSVP 822     4.TSMYTDs 837
5.  TGPBS 851     6.  Cats 861     7.  TBIAC  906     8. Grider 918

Biggest +/-
1. Pigg +149     2.  LO +95     3.  Cats +45     4. Grider -7
5.  DSVP -16     6.  TBIAC -62     7.  TSMYTDS -85     8.  TGPBs -119

Sooooo, what can we take away from all the numbers?  Well Pigg is living the FFL dream life with teams scoring an average of 74.22 pts per game against while Griders opponents score and ave of 102 per game.  And they have the same record.  Cats are a plus 45 and TBIAC is a -62 but they are tied.  LO still looks the best, 3rd in scoring, second lowest in points against and a plus 95, but is only one game up.  3 games left and the largest margin from top to bottom is 3.  Every game is a must win for every team.  From playoff seating for the lucky four playing to take home “lucky bastard” or the three fighting TGPB for the “sacko”,  this may be our most exciting season yet!  Bye weeks are almost done, injuries are plentiful and sure to continue and the waiver-wire is looking pretty sad.  Still not much trading going on (mostly just rejections of TBIAC attempted trad-rapes).  So to everyone who isn’t playing the Cats, good luck and keep FFLing!

    

Week 7 or "I hate fantasy football. And it is the only thing I’ve ever really loved"- Kevin McCarthy

Week 7
    3 blowouts and one nail-biter.  Hard to say anyone was upset, or stole a victory, or should have lost.  LO is the only consistently good team so far, and she lost to a horribley managed pack of Pugs.  Pigg continues to live the FFL dream by using his Yankee black magic to cause his opponents to SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK every week.  Grider, the Capt, and TSMYTDs have been all over the place and the Team Grider Power Bottoms have been…..uhhhmm….well…….hmmmm… terrible.  As expected!  Lets get to the action, or the lack of action for the Cats v Pigg.
    120-69 Pigg W.  Nothing much to say here. Beat-down by a freaking AUTO-DRAFT team (and a trade that sent Pigg his stud RB Ware.  Wonder what idiot made that trade?)

     Pugs with a UUUUUGE victory (at least that’s how our next President would say it! God help us all), 104-87 of LO ending her win streak at 5.  Shady McCoy let LO down with only 1pt, but LO let LO down by benching 25pts in Forte.  Blount continues to commit crimes and score TDs, 24pts and Brady was just ok with 17.  Pugs got a UUUUUUUGE lift from his Giants D with 20 and K 11pts.  Newly acquired Jacquizz Rogers (yup that’s his real name) dropped 15pts and Crowell continues to be one of the only bright spots wearing a Browns jersey, 13pts. 

     “The Battle for Uptown” looked more like an Oaklawn cat-fight, lots of hair pulling and scratching and glitter flying around (This writer believes most of the glitter was Griders while most of the hair pulling was also Grider!)  Unfortunately for the Capt, he was on the “bottom” of this dangerous liaison, losing 125-93.   Rrrrrraaaaawwwdddddjjjjjaaas tossed 23, AJ caught 22,  Melvin Gordon continues his TD binge with 29 and even the Lambo kicked in 17 to complete this besty-on-besty beat down.  Grider did pull a punch (or slap) by leaving Ajayi’s 27 and Cobb’s 17 on the bench. The Capt got into trouble when M Jones went out of the game with a big fat ZERO just like his Texans D. Christy Michael tip toed to only 5pts and K Hopkins shanked his way to only 4pts.  The bad part for TBIAC is everyone else played really well.  Brees 24, Brown 11, Hilton 19, Gronk 15 and Trabtree 15.  L Murray was watching from the sidelines with 17, but it wouldn’t have been enough to “Power” the Capt on “Top” of “Grider”. (see what I did there? genius)

    And finally a good game, between bad teams!!  This one came down to Monday night, with Fitz just falling short of taking the hard earned victory, and the Power Bottoms losing 80-79 to TSMYTDs. Demarco rumbled for 18, Julio grabbed 17 and the Ravens tackled 17pts for the W.  Luck’s 27, on the bench, wasn’t needed since TGPBs only appeared to have 3 people show up to play on Sunday.  Mariota 16, Jeremy Hill with one of his 4 good games of the year with 24 and Bryant kicking in 12.  Good news is the Bottoms only left a combined 23pts on their bench (side note- is 23 combined points are your bench a good thing?).  Bad news is if Fuller, 2 pts, had started for Meredith, 1pt, he could have tied. Or if they had put in White, 9pts, instead of Mckinnon, 4pts, they would have won.  Just wanted to point that out.  Stings a little bit, huh!!

Week 8 soon, sorry my life (and team) sucks.

Week 5 & 6 or "Idiots doing idiot things because they are idiots"- Sterling Mallory Archer

     First off, apologies to the Power Bottoms.  We just witnessed an FFL unicorn (aka a TGPB’s 2 game winning streak), and no one was there to document it.  But, through diligent research and painful memories for Team Grider and DSVP, this writer can attest to the truth.  It was a winning streak.  Improbable, yes.  Impossible, guess not.  Anyone see it coming? Nope.  I guess we shall see if the Bottom’s can keep it going through week 6 and beyond (won’t happen).

  Week 5 had the Cats crushing the now irrelevant TBIAC, 133-91.  What has happened to the former champ?  Did playing in the loser’s bracket last year take away his mojo?  Or was it that he showed up at the draft and wasn’t able to mooch off Griders panel of ESPN experts? 

   Speaking of WTF? Pigg curb-stomps Grider 124-87.  Zeke Elliott ran all over the Bengals, 28. Rivers flowed in Oakland for 26. And Hyde got 16 before getting injured.  Grider- Raaaawwwdddjjjjaaasss continues to dissapoint with 15. Girl-y had a decent game for a change with 14, but CJ and AJ failed miserably with 5 apiece.  Pigg is the league wildcard right now.  He has taken down the big boys one week, then started 7 players the next.  Can he pull it together to make the promised land?  Grider is always a player in the league championship.  Despite having, on paper, a mediocre team (Power Bottoms said mediocre, direct quote), he can’t be ruled out this early in the season.
    Power Bottoms power slammed DSVP 78-75 in the SuperBowl of Bad FFL!  Big Ben got 29, Fitz 20 and Freeman 17.  The rest of the team appeared to stay on the team bus and take the weekend off. DSVP got 17 fom Marshall, 16 from Wentz and 11 from Matthew and the Pats D.  This matchup was so boring I fell asleep twice writing these few lines. Moving on…..

     Dominate. Unstoppable. Short.  These are just some things being said about the #1 team in FFL, Team LO.  The insane move to “keep” a player who was banned for 4 weeks is paying off, Brady 29.  McCoy, still not injured, is having a great year.  Blount, still not in jail, is a TD machine. Hopkins still playing with a joke of a QB, awesome. And this week, just to show TSMYTDs, and new wrinkle, Vinateri kicks for 23.  One word describes LO at week 5…..First Place! (ok that’s two words, but i could have hyphenated and then i think it counts as one.)  TSMYTDs continues his roller coaster season throwing up a 66 to LO’s 128.  Luck and DeMarco are the only bright spots this week.  Julio and Edelman were bad, 2 and 3pts.  TSMYTDs just had a bad week.  He should have played DSVP, might have made it a game!!

Week 6
   Last week we had  the exciting news about the Power Bottoms 2 game win streak.  This week they start off the blog with…..wait for it….a………LOSS.  Possibly the worst game in FFL history. 43 points.  All players were active and not injured, just pathetic. One player, Meredith 11, got double digits.  Looks like somebody wants to hold on to his special trophy!  Pigg, like his Yankee fore-fathers, had no mercy on his Southern realtives scoring 106.  No need to recap. A Sacko-like week for the Power Bottoms.
     Well at least we can look forward to a DSVP victory sometime.  Not this week, or last, but sometime.  Maybe.  109-103 Cats take down the Pugs.  David Johnson’s 31 on Monday night brought the Cats back and allowed DSVP to grasp defeat from the jaws of victory.  Its a shame to lose a close game with a good score.  We have all been there. Its the FFL. It happens. And it was AWESOME!!

    TSMYTDs puts Grider down for his second loss in two weeks. 93-69.  Never a good sign when your K is the leading scorer, Bailey 13. Raaaaawwwwdddddjjjjaaasss sucked again, 11. Girl-y sucked again, 8. CJ and AJ, sucked. Maybe time for a roster overhaul for the Griders.  Tanner came to play this week! Luck 23, DeMarco 12, West 23, and Julio 19 and Gostkowski 10. the rest of the team were disappointing, but it was still enough for the W.

     TBIAC needed a big win this week to stay near the top of his dumpster-fire like division.  Unfortunately he ran ito the red hot LO team.  Brees, 32, did all he could to keep the Capt in the game, but it wasnt enough.  LO 116-109.  Gronk finally made an impact with 22, the first female in the NFL, Christine scored 19 and Stewart played the best game of his entire underachieving career, 20.  LO countered with 27 from Brady, 32 from McCoy, strangely still not injured, 13 from Blount, again…..still not in jail, and Vinateri 12.  

     At the halway point
EAST                                                                   WEST
LO 5-1                                                                  Pigg 4-2
Cats 4-2                                                                TBIAC 3-3
Grider 3-3                                                             TSMYTDS 2-4
Power Bottoms 2-4                                               DSVP 1-5

CATs with most PF 647.   TGPBs with the least 486.  Grider with most scored against, 632.  Pigg with the least, 443.
     As usual, the Standings page is a fun thing to look at, and to curse the FFL Gods about.  How in the world can everyone have a bad game against Pigg, but excel against Grider (thats probably karma).  Lo is a scoring machine, but has second lowest poinst AGAINST.  Poor DSVP has been the league punching back with 601 points against.  adn TBIAC, as usual, looks like the hard-luck loser so far.  Second in his division behind Pigg. 5 points scored more than Pigg but has given up a whopping 171 more points against!!
     Halfway to the playoffs, or for some teams (you know who you are) the losers playoffs!! With bye weeks and injuries stacking up, now is the time to make some strategic moves, trades, waivers.  Churn that roste over! Side note- Cats will be taking offers on Eddie Lacy as of now…. get those offers in now!

Week 4, The Undefeateded? the UnWinned? or "They dont think it be like this, but it do"- Oscar Gamble

Week 4 is gone, and so are the undefeated and unwinned.  More injuries, more bad decisions, more waivers, and our first no show on game day (PIGG).  Week 4 is also the first quarter of our FFL season so we will take a look at the stats.  As Team Griders group of overpaid (we shall see) group of FFL experts say…. “there are lies, damn lies and statistics”.  Should be fun!!

    Lead Story- Undefeated TBIAC v Unwinned Team Griders Power Bottom.  The big question is how a team as bad as TBIAC was undefeated? 12 from Brees ( who has been really nice this year), 0 from Sims (only playing because injury), the girl named Sue (Christine), 14, Antonio with his normal 18pts and Gronk with a big fat 1 aren’t enough to keep the smoke and mirrors going. The Power Bottoms had a huge game from Big Ben, 34 and from McKinnon (who he acquired from the Cats, just saying…..), 15 and the Bengals 14.  Victory Power Bottoms!!!  TBIAC left 19 and 26 on the sidelines from M Jones, M “Trabtee”. The Bottoms left 20 on the pine in W Fuller (another trade from the Cats….. just sayin….Cats make great trades…..just sayin).

    Unwinned TSMYTDS v Cats. 90-85. Julio Jones goes for 300 yds and a TD and 36pts. The resurgent DeMarco, 23pts, continues to prove Team Taco’s wise and crafty draft choices! TSMYTD’s  K, -1 and D, -1 and WR, 0 didn’t help at all but were enough to unseat the Cats as Holamon Family Champions.  For the second straight week the Cats missed on monster QB days by following the so-called experts.  Last week started Ryan 19 , Stafford benched with 26.  This week the start went to Stafford 7, benched, Ryan 35.  ESPN experts hopefully all work for Team Grider. Cause they SUCK!

     LO 75 Pigg 61final.  Not too much drama on this one except seeing if Pigg will field an entire lineup! After punishing his K by leaving him at home (or most likely Pigg forgot the K was on bye) and a -4 from his D, Julius Thomas scoring a zero and an injury, an to top it off, Carson Palmer went down to a concussion. Zeke rumbled for 20, Hyde for 13 and Sanders finally showing some FFL skills with 14, but it wasn’t near enough to make up for the Coaching miscues and injuries.  LO wasn’t anywhere near dominate, but a win is a win.  Dak’s 17 and McCoy’s 16 were enough.  3 and 5 from Forte and Blount, 0 and 7 from Hopkins and Jones, and Witten with 4.  Strong special teams day helped bring the W home for Lo,  with 12 and 11 from K and DST. 29 points left on the bench in Demarious Thomas and Gore weren’t needed to bitch-slap the unaware Pigg.
    

Side note- despite the win, LO’s score was the lowest winning total for the week, in fact it was tied for the second lowest score of the week.  FFL Gods must be pleased with Laces Out.  And DSVP, on the other hand, scored 98 the second highest score of the week…. and lost. Clearly he has angered the Shiva!
      As noted, DSVP 98- Grider 122. Grider got very little from the “mouth breather” Eli and Girl-y, but everyone else was magnificent.  As discussed for the last two years, our only chance of a non-Grider championship is a fluke game or injuries.  His bench is pathetic, sad and weak (like TG Power Bottom’s starters).  Poor DSVP just got FFl’ed this week. It happens. He will bounce back to become mediocre as usual! When your leading scorer is a Cleveland Brown, you may want to churn that roster over a bit. Just sayin!!

1/4 of the way through the season STAT breakdown-

EAST
Grider and LO 3-1, Cats 2-2, TG Power Bottoms 1-3

WEST
TBIAC 3-1, Pigg 2-2, and DSVP and TSMYTDs 1-3

                                PF (points scored)                           PA (points scored against)
Grider                             433                                                     415
Cats                                405                                                     348
LO                                  384                                                     364
TGPBs                           365                                                     405

TBIAC                           368                                                     365
DSVP                             353                                                     414
TSMYTDs                     346                                                     363
Pigg                                333                                                     313

Cats have the largest difference between PF and PA and the 2nd most points scored by is 2-2.  TBIAC is only 3pts ahead of his PA but is 3-1.  Pigg is absolute last in PF, and in PA, but is 2-2, while Grider is #1 in both PF and PA and 3-1.   The West division is looking much like the dumpster-fire they were last year, rekindling the talk of division re-alignment.  The commish has done nothing about these issues, like most others, due to the fact that last place in either division is still last place!  The East’s last PLACE PF is 365 and the West’s FIRST place PF is 368.  This may change, or like last year, the West will only have one representative in the winners bracket. 
Playoff Bracket as of now-

1. Grider v 4. Cats
2. TBIAC v 3. LO

6.TGPBs v. 5. Pigg
7. DSVP v 8. TSMYTDs

Plenty of time to change your playoff position.  Plenty more injuries to come.  Plenty more bye weeks left. Hopefully no more empty roster spots (Pigg).   Who will find the next superstar (Cats)?  Who will make the trade that propels them to the next level (prob not LO, she has trust issues).  Who will stand pat and hope their draft will pull them through (hopefully Grider).  Who will churn players weekly looking for the next win (most of us!!). Good luck, you will need it!

    
    

Week 3 "Monday Night Madness" or "For whom the (LeVeon) Bell Tolls"

What a FFL week!  After Sunday it looked like a couple of blowouts were going down. By Monday night their were some owners screaming (Cats, stupid Saints D) and some sweating (Grider, LO).  So we are down to one undefeated team, four 2-win teams and the rest stuck in limbo.  A couple of coaching decisions cost/paid off this week. And more injuries just in time for bye weeks begin!
  Let’s get to the action…..
    TBIAC v DSVP in a pugfight!  Going into Monday DSVP had a lead and Ingram left. The Capt had Brees. Capt wins 103-93 despite 18pts for Ingram.  The Saints were down all night playing catchup to the Falcons and this affecting almost every team this week. Also K Benjamin’s big fat zero for the pugs was costly.  On the other hand, the Capt played a boy named Sue, or Christine something (must be an Aggie) and got 22pts from him/her.  But he also left his newly acquired TY Hiltons 23 on the bench.  The Pugs answered by benching Parker and his 11pts. Either way TBIAC goes 3-0 and DSVP’s  one game winning streak is stopped at……….one.

     Pigg v TSMYTDs. Tanner was a 3pt fav to begin the week and ended up a 4 pt dog. 80-84. Pigg goes to 2-1 while TSMYTDs continued to challenge the “Power Bottoms” for the cellar at 0-3.  This battle came down to Julio Jones and Tamme for Tanner vs Cooks for Pigg.  Cooks scored 1pt.  Sooooo TSMYTDS should obviously win since Julio is a stud, righ? Clearly in a game that had a combined 77pts between the Falcons and Saints that Julio would have grabbed a handful. Nope. 1 catch for 16yds and 1pt. Tamme doubled him up with 2.  TSMYTDs got a -4 from the Steelers D but 21 from a resurgent DeMarco and 22 from Baldwin but left DeSean Jacksons 15 on the pine.  Pigg survived a 3pt day from his QB and 1 each from Cooks and Thomas. But, the Chiefs won the day with a whopping 32pts.  Piggs bench scored 86. Yup, out scored the starters. He seems to have a middling starting group and a solid but middling bench! Time to make some trades!

                                   

                             

     In the battle of for Lil D, LO escapes (Stupid Saints D) with the win over the Cats. Down 25 going into Monday with only Ryan left it looked all but over. By the third quarter Ryan had 18 pts and was unstoppable (at least by the F$&(ing Saints D).  Fourth quarter…. Run run run run (stupid Saints D). Ryan finishes with 19😭.  Deangelo had his first bad game as a fill in for Bell, 4pts. And the Cats WRs combined for 13, not exactly Championship skills.  LO countered with 32 from Jones (wtf?) and 22 from Blount (he isn’t in jail? Seriously?).  And now the coaching miscues. Cats- Coleman 26, Stafford 26. Benched. LO-  Shady McCoy 23. Benched.  LO moves to 2-1, Cats fall to 2-1.

  And in the struggle for FFL and position dominance, Team Grider visited Team Grider’s Power Bottom’s dungeon like stadium.  Raaaaawwwwddddjjjaaasss wasn’t afraid of his burly bearded opponent and threw for 26pts. Gurley finally didn’t play girl-y, 2 TDs and 20pts.  Robinson caught 17 and Hauschka kicked in 13. Grider 113.

  The Power Bottoms weren’t just going to lay there and take a pounding from Grider despite being down 45 pts and only Freeman and Fleener left.  Hill had his one of four good games this season and rumbled for 21. Jordy snagged 22. Now could Freeman and Fleener do it?  As noted above (once or twice), the Saints could not stop the Falcons.  This caused Bree’s to keep throwing, to Fleener among other, for 16 pts! On the other hand, the Falcons jumped out quick on the arm of Ryan (Cats should have won damnit!) but with such a lead they went to the ground. Freeman went 14-152 rushing and 5 for 55 receiving and a TD.  Tragically, Coleman stole just enough touches from Freeman who ended the night with 26. Final score 113-111. Team Grider is still the “top” to the Power Bottoms. Coaching breakdown- TGPBs started Big Ben….6pts. On the bench, Tannehill…..18pts. Grider chose the Denver D to start, 9pts. Vikes on the sideline, 25.
   Almost every game could have flip-flopped with different choices.  That’s the way FFL go, unfortunately or fortunately, depending on what side your on!  Week 4 brings us more injuries and the start of the dreaded bye-weeks (and the return of Josh Gordon….or not). That’s it for this week, sorry for the tardiness, the stupid blog the Commish set up kept crashing and deleting all this Pulitzer-prize winning writers work.  
Ohhhhh, almost forgot. The title of the week.  The “Bell” tolls for thee!!! Leveon is back (at least till his next injury or suspension). Now we can all join together and watch him try to surplant D Johnson (Cats keeper) as the best RB in all of FFL!  
     Let’s make some trades, talk some trash and enjoy the FFL!! Good luck to all, except for the Cats opponent!

Week 2, or the " The Power Bottoms go down again"

    Week 2 came and went, some wins, some losses, some injuries, some trades.  Otherwise known as another week in the FFL.  Hopefully you don’t have AP (TGPBs), or muscle hamer (Capt),  Danny Woodhead (who the f has him?)  or Ameer Abdullah (huge loss), or any defense playing the Patriots!  In  the “This is Serious” league the GM must me ready to make moves or become the “Sacko”.

     Let’s get through the blowout of the week….. A Super Bowl rematch between the defending champ Cats and the former defending champs and draft no-show, Team Grider. Final score. 120-77. Sad. This used to be a marquee matchup- game of the week- must see tv. Lately, not so much. Just Team Grider losses. Someone’s gonna get fired!!  But lets not bury Team Grider just yet, he has always been a dangerous team, especially when on “the bottom”.

     LO v TGPBs. Playoff contender vs Sacko. -6 pt fav. 117- 82 final. LO goes to 1-1, commish to 0-2. Maybe a good sign after TGPBs 4-0 start last year! Probably not. LO rolls on despite QB Wilson hurt and only scoring 11.  But the ol man Forte went for 100yds and 3 TDs and 28pts. Hopkins tossed in 17 and Blount 18 despite the fact that he should be in jail. Trust me, that guy has committed crimes, we just havent busted him yet.  The Power Bottoms could have helped themselves by benching AP (should have known he’d get hurt) and Watkins (should have known he’d get hurt) and thier combined 1pt. Bernard’s  15pts, and T Benjamin, 23pts, watched the Commish go to 0-2.

TSMYTDs v DSVP.  These guys HATE each other, and it showed in this dogfight!!
TSMYTDs  choice of DeMarco Murray (and a few other picks) was scoffed at by Team Griders group of draft experts.  DeMarco goes for 13pts and another Grider draft expert was fired.  16 from Julio and Dez finally did something, 10pts, and the Panthers D with 14 for a total of 80. Which usually means you got beat down, or its mid-season and you’ve got byes and injuries.  This is week two sooooooooooooooo…. but his opponent is DSVP, so lets see how it went down!!  29 from Cam and 22 from K Benjamin take the W 88-80.  TSMYTDS left Ryan Matthews 2 TDs on the bench for J. Stewarts 0pts (should have known he would get injured) and Mike Wallace’s 16 over DeSean jackson 4 ( should have know he would suck agains the amazing Cowboy D!).  Pugs missed the one chance to start a Browns player this season (until Josh Gordon gets back) by leaving I Crowell and his 20pts watching from the sidelines.  Looks like DSVP bagged another valuable win!
And in the finale, TBIAC v Team Pigg.  For once, ESPN almost had this one picked correctly (see Cats v Grider, 3.4 spread, 43 point blowout!) at 4.4 spread. Glass wins 84-79 to go to 2-0 despite the lack of good players or coaches.  Pigg got gut-punched by Carlos Hydes 2 pts and Crosby’s 2 extra points.  Deckers 18 on the bench would have been the difference maker over Cooks 6.  But, as we all know,that is how the FFL go……. (I detect foreshadowing).
So that puts TBIAC and Cats at 2-0, Grider, Pigg, LO and DSVP at 1-1 and literally at the “BOTTOMS” is the Power Bottoms and TSMYTDs at 0-2.  Dont worry though, there is plenty of FFL to be FFL’ed.  The Bottoms started last season at 4-0 (not sure if i’d noted that anywhere?) and won the Sacko, and the Cats were 0-3 and now how a 4 foot monstrosity with plastic dicks in my office! (it is truly Maginificent!!)  So, keep playing, keep trading, keep doing the homework.  Injuries will obviously start to play a major role in the season as will the dreaded bye weeks to come. Till next time……

The Draft, Week One and a Grider no-show

     The 2016-2017 Draft went off beautifully! The free taco bar and the drinks flowed like wine, where beautiful FFL draft picks instinctively flocked like the salmon of Capistrano! I’m taking about a little place called…….Denton. Team Pigg lives in Yankee-land, Taco was taking a much needed vaca and the rest of the league was at II Charlie’s…….. Except Team Grider.  Where was he? Working?  Out of town? Did he rsvp not coming? No no no no no.  He was in his penthouse/underground lair, surrounded by his FFL support staff and minions and most importantly…. His paid group of draft experts.  Year after year after year, a new excuse comes up on why Team Grider missed the group draft; work, diarrhea, traveling, explosive diarrhea, electrocution.  We’ve heard all the excuses.  When will the “current” Commisioner stand up to this tyrant and say “No”.  No more drafting in Jerry Jones war room, no more team of experts, no more skipping out on the draft.  When will the newly named “Team Griders Power Bottom” stand up to Team Grider……. Uhhhmm okk, I guess that name kinda speaks for itself.  So, Nathan didn’t show but we had a great time and we unveiled the “The Sacko” and began the 2016-2017 FFL season!  Good luck to all……. for second place!

Week One or “the Reckoning”
     As the last place finisher of the losers championship game, Team DFUN was the winner….. Loser… Champ?… Whatever, he was last place, the absolute loser of the league (don’t forget 4-0 start) and won/lost the “The Sacko” and a new name.  The newly minted TGPBs started week one with the defending champs, the Cats. LOSS. 100-75. Maybe it’s a good sign for the commish to start out on a losing streak this year. Or not….

     In a playoff rematch from last season, Team Grider actually showed up to play Laces Out! All I can say is Grider seems to have gotten his $$ worth from the FFL experts who drafted his team. CJ Anderson (25pts – equaling his entire 2016 total) actually scores points?? Who knew this was possible?  Number 1 RB Todd Gurley had a tough start with 4pts, but that will clearly be an aberation, right? Raaaawwwwddddjjjjaaaasss looked good with 22, and AJ Green got 24, which will be his weekly average for the season….gauranteed! LO was balanced but boring. A handful of double digits games and a couple of stinkers just couldn’t put her on top of Grider this week. 121-86
     Pigg v DSVP. The Yankee (auto draft) came out swinging in week one! Palmer 18, Elliot 11, Hyde 20, Cooks 27, Evans 15! 109 total. Big week for Pigg! DSVP had good games from Cam, keeper Lamar Miller and his K and no one else.  With a talented roster and a seemingly renewed vigor for the game, can DSVP launch himself back into FFL legitimacy?  Will Pigg make the winners bracket for the first time and break the “Southern” stranglehold on the the “Lucky Bastard”? Probably neither. But it’s week one so hope is still alive! For now.
   And in this weeks throwdown, TBIAC v TSMYTDs!  Luck went for 35, and D Bailey 17 ( this should be a regular occurrence with the Jason Garrett offense) wasn’t enough to take out the talented but snake-bit Capt!  Bree’s countered with 30, the amazing Antonio B with 24 and a solid D was enough to take the W and move on to Week 2!
   Sorry for the short version, been a busy couple of weeks putting together a repeat Championship team and all the other stuff (work, work, napping, drinking, napping, working… You get the picture…. I’ve been busy)! Thanks to everyone who came to the draft that was physically able to (everyone but Nate) and a special thanks to owners Hallie and Courtney for putting together the draft party without a single bit of help from the Commish! And to the Cats head coach for scouring BOTH downtown mini-malls for the new Sacko Award. More next week!
   

Week 16 or "Of Winners, Losers and the Game" part two

Championship week has come and gone, the “Lucky Bastard” returns home, the Commish captures the “Sacko” and a new name, and the rest the horrible dreams of what could have been!!!
   Losers- everyone but the Cats! Just kidding (I’m not kidding).  TBIAC takes home the award for best team with the worst record. Not sure how he did it but it was fun to watch! TSMYTDs was the surprise of the season making the playoffs (albeit from the weakest division in FFL history) despite a roller coaster of a season.  LO was gifted a RB duo early on and it was almost enough to make up for the Eddie Lacey #1 overall draft pick (????) and  NEVER EVER accepting a trade offer! Pigg had a chance, but with no one but Raaaawwwwdddddjjjjaaaasss, he just didn’t have enough.  DSVP was terrible. Terrible. (Someone needs to learn what is important in life and it’s not family and job!!!). Grid, again, fought his way into the Super Bowl…..and lost.  All year long this blog had said Grid was the strongest team put had no bench.  I guess his “experts” disagreed and made no moves despite every other team in the league being crushed by injuries.  Grid went into the playoffs unscathed and on fire. Until ODB lost his shit (and found a suspension) and the injury bug finally hit!  A final week of furious waiver wire action (all being looked at by the league office for collusion) gave him a full roster, but not a good one.  Cats had rebuilt his team numerous times over the season after losing his top two picks to injuries, #1 WR to a kidney and Chris Ivory to mediocrity.  David Johnson, Deangelo Williams (thanks DSVP!!) and Tim Hightower were the MVPs of the playoff run combining for 139pts in two games (23.1 pts per player per game average).  The Cats take the trophy home again despite the fact that the starting Super Bowl champion QB was Matt Stafford. Matt freaking Stafford!  Final score 127-85.
 Great year! Take a few weeks off to recuperate then start hitting the mock drafts for “this is serious business” 2016!  And the Commish will be emailing about the trophy presentation (boozefest).
    I wrote a piece about this year, winning the “Lucky Bastard”, again, and my thoughts on our FFL league. When I re-read it, I found some similarities to Lebron’s “coming home” letter. Weird, I know!!
     “The Lucky Bastard Coming Home”
   Before anyone ever cared where I would play FFL, I was a kid from North Texas.  It’s where I walked.  It’s where I ran. It’s where I cried.  It’s where I bled.  It holds a special place in my heart.  People there have seen me grow up.  I sometimes feel like I’m their son.  Their passion can be overwhelming.  But it drives me.  I want to give them hope when I can.  My relationship with North Texas is bigger than FFL. I didn’t realize this four years ago (when I won the first championship).  But now I do.
    I’m not promising back-to-back championships.  I know how hard that is to deliver.  We’re not ready right now (it’s the off season). No way. Of course I want to win next year, but I’m realistic. It will be a long process, much longer than it was in 2015.  My patience will be tested.  I know I’m going into a situation with a young team.  I will be the old head.  But I get a thrill out of bringing a group together and helping them reach a place they didn’t know they could go.
      I want kids in North Texas to realize that there is no better place to FFL.  Maybe some of them will come home after college and start a FFL family or a FFL business. That would make me smile.  Our community, which has struggled so much at FFL needs all the talent it can get.
   In North Texas, no FFL WIN is given. Everything is earned.  You work for what you have.  I’m ready to accept the challenge. I’m coming home (to “this is serious business ” 2016).
  This is best read in Morgan Freeman’s voice.

Week 15 or "Tinker away, Tinkerbell, straight to NeverNever WinLand"- Jenny

Week 15 SHOCKER!!! DSVP loses to the “former” champ TBIAC 122-87.  Shocking part was how close this one was.  DSVP goes to the Sacko Bowl and Glass escapes the horrible shame and name-calling of playing in the loser championship game.

    Familllllllyyyyy Fuuueeeedddd part 3. DFUN v Pigg. Loser goes to Sacko, winner moves on to mediocrity. And the winner is………. DFUN! They defeat the terrible northern aggressor and move on. Oooppppss, Steve Harvey does it again. PIGG is the winner and DFUN falls into the 7th level of Sacko-hell!
If you remember DFUN was 4-0. Just sayin.
     In the second Faaammmiillllyyy Fuuueeeddd, Cats win 128-58. Boring.  ESPN picked TSMYTD’S to win by 6.  This is unsettling (see below)
     In the one good game of the week, LO, the first timer took on the savvy vet and reigning champ GRID.  It was up and down, hit or miss, a real nail-biter. In the end Sam Bradford and his horrible band of monkey-fucker Eagles gave up 14 pts to the Cards D and ended LO’s run for the crown.  Unfortunately for the rest of us, GRID is back in the big game. Let’s pray for injuries or suspensions, or a steamroller. Something, anything, to stop the horrible GRID demolition team from keeping the “Lucky Bastard” in his 23,000sqf mansion next to Jerry Jones’ modest shack!
The 2 games that matter.  Sacko-Bowl 2015! DFUN v DSVP.  I think we all knew how this would end, didn’t we?  DFUN is the projected winner 100-81 (see above disclaimer on ESPN projections).
  “the Lucky Bastard”-  Cats v Grid. Side note- trophy is named after the Cats first championship when all the doubters called the masterfully coached team “lucky” and the owner, Hallie, “bastard”.  This is 100% true. Maybe. I’m not real sure, but it’s great bulletin board fodder for the Cats.  Grid has been laying low over the last week. Occasionally sending sweet texts wishing the Cats luck.  Obviously his highly paid team of experts have decided on a non-confrontational approach.  Cats are dealing with 2 broken WRs, a QB position that hasn’t been filled and a coin toss on the 3rd RB.  Grid’s team is going full bore down the tracks of victory. He has no reason to lose. I’m predicting a 124-65 win for the “champ”.   
    This just in…. ODB is a punk and is suspended.  Stewart is being held out because his team is undefeated and they don’t need him. A successful waiver wire run (since NO ONE else even tried) put super talented players in those empty spots and the experts agree, Grid will win.  ESPN on the other hand, has it Cats107-96. Again, see above disclaimer.  Who will “tinker, tinker, tinker away to neverwin land”? We shall see.
    Don’t forget, the “Lucky Bastard” winner names the Sacko Winner’s team next year! (I’ve already been working on names…..)