Author: lildceilingcats

Week 11, 12 or "Better to go out like this than in some senseless tragedy-Truman Sparks

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week 11-12
   Shockingly this FFL season is quickly coming to an end.  Some are fighting to get into the winners bracket for a chance at the “Lucky Bastard” and some are just being losers (you know who you are). Just Kidding, according to my math, after week 12, everyone still has a chance. (I doubt this is true, DSVP sucks, and DFUN will find a way to blow it again, and my math skills are HIGHLY questionable). More on playoff predictions later….
   DFUN takes out TBIAC 101-96.  This looks like the first year TBIAC will be the favorite in the playoffs. In the losers bracket.  DFUN is still fighting back from their EPIC mid-season collapse.
   GRID crushes DSVP 135-49. 49? Every position filled?.  No injuries?  49 pts? WTF??
    PIGG 91-65 over the slumping LO.  Without her “black stallion” LO has been struggling.  PIGG, who has scored in the 40’s twice this year, is still viable in the dumpster-fire of the WEST division.  LO is fighting for the fourth spot in the winners bracket with a chance to move up, or fall completely out.
    CATS allowed TSMYTDS to win 65-51.  This was completelya strategic move by the Cats head coach/waiver wire genius/GM of the year.  The masses will understand when the Cats master plan is revealed.  Or it was just a really bad week?

Week 12-
   TBIAC fighting to make the playoffs…. Have to win….Must win game…..Loss to Cats 110-88 despite being a 8.5pt fav.  Great pickups by the Cats (see above awards/titles/declarations) Ware 17pts in place of JC who blew out a knee, who was replaced by West who pulled a hammy.  The Cats team has been described as a “combination of Fergie and Jesus.”  This writer agrees.
   Grid continues to look like the first “Lucky Bastard” back-to-back winner, crushing team Pigg. 108-86.  GRID starters are an awesome group! Hopefully there will be injuries, because his bench is as scary as DSVP’s starters (not scary).  Pigg is still in this at one game back with two to go (predictions to follow).
     LO continues to sliiiiiiiddeee, losing 82-100 to surging TSMYTDs.  Despite a -2 from Romo, TSMYTDS takes the W with great games from Megatron and the Bengals D.   LO continues to struggle at RB with various injuries. This victory and the TBIAC loss puts Tanner in sole possession of first place in the “short bus” division.
    DSVP 74- DFUN 82.  29 from AP puts DFUN in the lottery of the “winners bracket”.  4-8 puts DSVP as the biggest long shot for the winners bracket this year.  I’d do the math but, seriously, why waste the time!!
    The Commish and the humble writer of this Pulitzer Prize Blog nominee sat down with NASA and MIT Mathematics Dept and came up with a rock-solid prediction for the last two weeks leading into the playoffs.  Warning- this could be shocking news to some teams (DSVP).  Please look at it responsibly……

   

   This would put the Cats at #1 vs. DFUN and TBIAC vs Grid in a back to back rematch. Losers division goes like this… Losers, no one cares.

   Good luck, 2 games left, anything can happen. Except DSVP winning. We can all agree on that!!
   

Week 8, 9, 10 or "The Rise (Cats) and Fall (DFUN) of a FFL Empire"

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Week 8-
   DFUN continued their epic slide, losing to the surging Cats 95-73.  DFUNs choice of QB (Red Rocket w/ 9pts instead of mouth-breather Eli’s 38pts) gauranteed their 4th consecutive loss.
    Capt took down TSMYTDS 102-79 in a snoozer.  Luck still sucked, this year for TSMYTDs, last year costing the Capt a title. C Palmer, the ageless wonder, went off for 28, doubling the “out-of-Lucks” 14pts.  20 from Tucker and 12 from the D was the difference in another Capt W.
   DSVP 124 over PIGG 76 in this weeks “Smackdown”! Brees went off for 44 and that was all it took.
  LO’s winning streak ended against the Ninja-Assasin GRID 130-101. 31 from ODB, 20 from Gurley and 17 from Gronk was enough to vanquish the hot hand of Devontae Freeman, 12 and Julios 20.
    DFUN looks done, LO is now beatable, Capt and Grid are rounding into playoff shape, TSMYTDs and PIGG are very hit and miss, DSVP could be dangerous and the Cats are literally the “Lucky Bastards” so far.   Let’s see what week 9 has for us………..

Week 9-
    TBIAC continues his climb up loser mountain (aka the West Division) with a 131-89 thumping of PIGG. A Brown 28, Eifert 23 and Fotre’s handcuff Langford with 22. PIGG with 32 from Rrraaawwwdddjjjaaass and 13 from Cooks was no match for the Capt.
    141-114 DSVP over TSMYTDs. In one of those “shame to lose” games, Tanner just got the short end of the fantasy stick.  DSVP exploded with Brees 31, Miller 25, Williams 36 ( more to come on Deangelo) and 18 from Hurns. TSMYTDs tried to keep up with 21 at QB, 17 from McCoy, 23 from Walker and 22 from the waiver wire pickup of the week, Sammy Watkins. Unfortunately a loss is still a loss despite the good effort.
    DFUN 88- LO 98. DFUN sure looks like a guaranteed W right now with their 5th defeat in a row. LO got back on track (can you say DFUN is a slump-buster)  with D Murray leading the way with 21.   DFUN had great games from all except 2 pts from “Muscle Hamster”  3 pts at TE, 5 pts at D and a big fat goose-egg, 0, at K.  Once again DFUN snatched defeat from the jaws of victory!!
     In a possible playoff deciding game, the horribly undermanned Cats took out Grid and his overpaid team of FFL experts 97-83.  The Cats team was made up of only waiver wire trash (after losing Bell, JC and Allen to injury), while Grid was at full strength and ready to play. Clearly his team of FFL analysts didn’t take into account “The Eye of the Tiger (Cat)”.  In a show of good sportsmanship, the Cats owner offered to bench his QB on Monday night to give his opposition a chance. It was refused and the brutal beat down commenced. This one got ugly!!

Week 10-
    108-62 TBIAC over the roller coaster that’s is DSVP.  Langford again with a big game, 29 and 27 from A Brown were enough to beat the poor Pugs this week  dropping them to 4-6 while the Capt reaches the summit of shit mountain at 5-5 and first place.
     In a battle of mortal enemies PIGG slips past TSMYTDs 99-34. Not a typo. 34. All positions filled. 34. All players played. 34. Kinda reminds me of week 7 (PIGG 41pts). Crazy thing is no one is out of it yet in this dumpster-fire of a division!!!
    Grid v DFUN, will the losing streak end?  Will DFUN crawl their way out of the Marianas Trench of a hole they dug for themselves. Will they make the playoffs and NOT have to pay the Cats $20 bucks? Nope. 122-84. Not even close. 6 L’s in a row.
     “Let’s Get ready to Rumbllllllllllee”. Cats take on LO for first place in the newly named “Super Bad-Ass, Everyone Else Blows, East Division”.  If you didn’t see this Battle Roy-Al in person, all this reporter can say is, too bad!  Evenly matched up (LO didn’t have Freeman or Julio, which actually made it even), the wanna be first time playoff contender, LO, came out swinging. But the wily veteran, Cats, stayed just outside her haymakers and took the fight in a decision.  The judges ruled for the Cats and their 28 pts from Kirk Cousins, a free agent pickup. Side not- for everyone, Kirk Cousins is a NFL QB for the Redskins. Second, the Redskins still have a team.  This lil piece of
waiver -wire genius put the Cats at 7 Ws in a row and first place!

    With 4 games to go…..
EAST- Cats 7-3, GRID 6-4, LO 6-4, and DFUN 4-6
WEST- TBIAC 5-5, DSVP 4-6, TSMYTDs 4-6, Pigg 4-6

Projected Playoff Bracket at week 10
Winners bracket
Cats v LO   Grid v TBIAC 
Losers bracket
Don’t care v loser 
Another loser v no one cares 

There are still 4 games left this season. Now is the time to make your move!! I can’t actually do math but I’m pretty sure everyone still has a chance. Except DFUN. They suck!
   

Week 7 or "Montezuma’s Revenge"

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Short and late write up. Been in Mexico sitting in a pool drinking free booze. I assume everyone was doing the same?

 

Cats 104-41. Cats win streak continues without JC. Nothing can stop them now, NOTHING! PIGG got the “lucky break” award this week. We won’t go in depth into his 41 points. 41 freakin points?!?

    GRID 115-89.  Grid with a suddenly scary offense. TBIAC continues his pathetic losing streak.

     LO 118-92 over DSVP. Insert black stallion joke. ANOTHER win in a row. DSVP, another sad day.

    TSMYTDs 99-89 over DFUN. Big surprise. The soon to be impeached commish is falling apart sooner than previous years, but still on the road to Loserville!

    
   

Week 6 or "Of Winners, Losers and the Game…….pt 1)

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Game 6 of 12. The halfway point of this wonderful FFL season! Many questions still to be answered. Some look to jump to the forefront of their division (LO), some look to fall into the pit of Shiva despair (DFUN) and some (the entire West Division) appear to not want to win or lose anything.  DFUN on a 2 game slide, TBIAC 3 game losing streak, LO 4 game W streak and the Cats on a 3 week Victory dance.  East Div still close with a tie for 1st between LO and DFUN, with Cats and GRID one game back, while the West has TSMYTDS and PIGG at 3-3 on top and TBIAC and DSVP on the bottom (not their first time “on bottom”).

    123-101 TSMYTDs over Grid. Andrew Luck and the NFL ALL PRO Team 2012 took down a tough, but unLUCKy GRID. Megatron and Fitz go for 22 and 9, Luck with 27 and big games from both RBs was enough to forget Stafford’s 33 on the pine.  GRID most likely would have won the contest if he had played 2 RBs…….. Oops, it appears he did have two warm bodies in those slots. Hyde, 5 and more surprisingly, Anderson with 6 (his best game of this season). Bryant’s 25 on the bench with Stewart’s 19 surely could have helped. The “Good Call Coach” award goes to the GRID head coach for handicapping his team into (another) loss.
     LO, again, riding her ebony steed proudly, takes down the dissapointing TBIAC team 102-82.  22, 17 and 27 from Brady, Murray (really?) and Freeman (finally, he had a bad game) helped put the Capt in a tie for last place in the loser, I mean, West division.  TBIAC was betrayed by his entire team except the Broncos 18 and Forte 16 (he’s not hurt yet?). The other 6 combined for 32. Roughly the weekly average of LO’s Freeman (I swear to God he is NOT human).  The good and bad for both teams are their benches. The good (for everyone else) is LO’s bench had 28 (this may be her kryptonite). That’s pitiful!! Let’s hope for injuries to her starters. The bad- (only bad for the Capt) TBIAC bench 27. Big changes need to be made for this team to even sniff the winners bracket (Cats GM answers all trade proposals!).
     DFUN 90-106 PIGG.  “Let’s Play the Fammmmmiiiillllyy Ffffuuuuueeeeedddd”!!!  Theses two hated rivals square up in FFL and at family holidays and vacations. They HATE each other!!  DFUN gets 21 from “the Ginger Torpedo” and 20 from the healthy, finally, Alshon.  -1 at D, 9 total at RB and 19 total on the bench seems to spell the end for DFUNs chances for post season glory (see Cats GM note above).  PIGG had solid games from everyone but Coleman (I told you to hit the waiver wire) and Cooks. Bench was solid at 39.  Definitely in contention for “not losing” the West Title.
    Former Co-Workers squared off in the “Shitty Job Bowl” sponsored by EAS!! As usual, Cats come out on top 111-89 over DSVP.  Rivers throws for OVER 500 yds and 2 TDS yet only scores 28 pts (the Commish has ruined our point system). 25 from Ivory, 15 from Allen and Barnidge (Gronk 2.0) turned this into a blowout!! DSVP wasted the one good game Lamar Miller, 17, will have this season.  As usual, K was a high point for the Pugs, 13. 63pts left on the bench, 63!! How didn’t he win the “Good Call Coach” award?  22 from a WR Hurns wouldn’t have made the difference and the rest were a push. Good bench? Mediocre Starters? Neither? Both? Luckily DSVP is in the West!!
MidSeason Stats
EAST- LO 4-2, DFUN 4-2, CATS 3-3, GRID 3-3
WEST-  TSMYTDS 3-3, PIGG 3-3, TBIAC 2-4, DSVP 2-4
High scorers
LO- 642, CATS- 622, GRID 596, TBIAC 593
Highest points against 
TSMYTDs-618, LO- 606, Cats-600, TBIAC-584
Defying the odds (and the numbers)
PIGG- PF=533 PA=555 record- 3-3 tied for 1st
TSMYTDs- PF=541 PA=618 record- 3-3 tied for 1st
Screwed by the numbers
GRID- PF=596 PA=524 record 3-3 tied for 2nd/last 
TBIAC- PF=593 PA=584 record 2-4 tied for DEAD LAST
This tells us one thing. This whole FFL thing is as much luck as skill (sort of). Some good teams will,  or won’t, make “the Dance”. Some crappy teams (anyone in the West) will make the playoffs due to the Commish’ horrible rule-making. “Of Winners, Losers and The Game” 
Editors note- SEND ME YOUR TRADE OFFERS!

Week 5 or "Oh How the mighty have fallen"

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     DFUN Goes down! The undefeated season is over. Somewhere, the 1972 Dolphins are drinking a toast to the Commish’s demise. DSVP 116 DFUN 100. Without D Martin’s (this guy still plays football?) 33 and Eli’s slobber covered 28pt outburst, this would have gotten UGLY!  DSVP rode the Patriots RB, WR and D for 45 and 21 from Antonio Gates, back from suspension (great pickup!).  Clearly this is the end of DFUN’s failed attempt at making the playoffs. Vegas odds have them going 0-7 to finish another sad, sad season. DSVP rebounded from an 0-3 start to be in a 4 way tie for first (what a bullshit division!!) at 2-3. I’m personally voting for league contraction. Lot of dead weight in the West (Capt, we are looking at you).

     GRID 100 over PIGG 49. Not a mistype. 49. All positions filled. No injuries. 49 points
     Another beat down, LO RIDES her black stallion Freeman to another victory over TSMYTDs 103-63.  Brady 25, Demarco Murray 17 (equaling his SEASON total) and a poor Julio Jones day, 11pt brought another W to LO.  TSMYTD’S just didn’t show up. 11 from Foster, Sanders and the resurgent Fitz. No double digits from anyone else. Will TSMYTD’S call it quits? Will he fight back against the horribly weak West division? Will any team in that dumpster-fire division reach .500? We shall see. (Vegas side note to follow)

     Finally, the highest score of the week…….the second win in a row……..the 29th straight victory over TBIAC and his former team name (he thought a name change would change his luck)…..and a tie for first place in the West……(cue wheels screeching followed by car crash noise).  Cats destroy TBIAC 133-107. Both teams 2-3. TBIAC in tie for first place. Cats in fourth in East. WTF!!!!!  Waiver wire magic, as usual, by the Cats, sealed the deal.  Barnidge 19 and Packers 22 along with Bell’s mediocre day of 18pt and a K with 13 was just too much for the absolute best game TBIAC could possibly expect from his group of losers.  Some have compared TBIAC team to Lamar Odom. Stats look good, potential looks good……married a Kardashian……….fucked over the Mavs………went to a brothel……..now in intensive care from too much organic Viagra. (OK, not real sure about this comparison.  GRID sent all the corroborating evidence to the Editor-In-Cheif of this blog. From what I’ve seen it’s only a couple of pics of Kourtney K and twenty empty bottles of EXTENZE.  But the boss says write it, so I write it).
     The Pulizter prize nominated writer of this blog was recently in Vegas and had a “sit-down” with the official sports book prognosticator.  These are his findings……   PIGG will start a complete roster of nothing but backup players resulting in the lowest score in league history.  LO, majestically seated upon her ebony mount (Freeman,) will make the playoffs and lose in the first round when the league realizes he (Freeman) is not human and suspends him.  TSMYTD’S will take his “NFL All-Pro Team 2012” all the way to the Title. (as stated many times prior, the FFL Gods are fickle).  Cats will trade his entire team by the end of the season. Will talk about it for the next twenty years to anyone who will/or won’t, listen.  GRID will disappear. That’s it. He’ll just not respond anymore.  DSVP, in the weak-ass West Division, will continue to be third.  TBIAC will be sent to Huntsville after his attempted murder of the Cats owner following his 74th straight loss to the “Lil d”.  DFUN will make his own league. Consisting of DFUN and no one else……. He will find a way to lose……..

Week 4 or "I’m kind of a big deal"- Ron "DFUN" Burgundy

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So week 4 has come and gone and with it came the shocking upsets, injuries and big wins we are used to seeing. 2 favorites won, 2 got smacked down.  Everyone has a win and only one has NO losses. Lots of waiver wire action as teams twist and tweek their lineups.  Some teams (GRID) failed to recognize excellent trade offers. Injuries have started to take their toll along with the hated bye weeks! Depth will be playing a very large part for the rest of the season. So, for some, go find that next piece to build your bench. For the others who don’t have a bench to start with…. your screwed (Grid, PIGG)!!

     DFUN 84-78 over TBIAC in a huge upset.  The Capt was a 24pt favorite to start the day but ends up falling to 2-2.  Palmer and Forte were the only two starters to actually not suck. Luckily for DFUN,  Spillers 16 and Hillmans 16 combined with Bradfords 23 (yup, can’t actually believe I’m writing this. Sam Bradford was not the worst player in the league Sunday) on the bench was the end for TBIAC.  The Commish and trade-rape Jones (9 pts) win again. That’s 4-0 for those who aren’t paying attention. Taco.  Fiery Ginger Dalton got 17, AP 15 and no jail time this week, some dude named Charles Clay 11 and GRID castoff Crowell 12.  FFL Luck WILL catch up with DFUN…….I hope.  TBIAC is in the middle of the pack right now.  Maybe a big trade could change that?   Or maybe he is just gonna sit and wait for Big Ben to comeback and make his team relevant again. Guess we shall see.
     GRID was a 13 pt fav over winless Pugs. Final… DSVP 81 GRID 52!!! First, despite their scores, they both fielded a full team of active, not good, players. Nothing to note in this game, see the score, except the exceptional lack of talent on the defending champs team. No running game at all with Beast-mode still in Bitch-mode, ODB getting roughed up by every D he sees (I smell an injury coming) and no bench to speak of.  Gronk is the only bright spot until he breaks his forearm or forgets to go the game (he is STUPID, like Eli Manning mouth-breather stupid) and Hopkins who has to catch ugly ducks tossed by Mallett or Hoyer. Good luck with that! GRID may have to start making moves or risk losing the trophy that his team of FFL experts fought so hard for him to “win” last year.

DSVP 1-3 now and still searching for the “right” lineup. Nothing great on bench but all are usable (Brees, Edelman, Ellington, Gates, Blount) if they get hot or others get hurt.

(Above photo and caption provided by TBIAC.  The publisher of this blog does not agree or disagree with TBIAC’s opinions and denies any part of this mean-spirited meme)

    LO 80-67 over PIGG. ESPN actually got this point spread correct! Crazy!! LO on a two game winning streak while the “Yankee” is on a win loss win loss pattern.  L0 left some points on the bench but didn’t need them. PIGG  left V Jax’s 20 sitting and Raaawwwddddjjjjaaasss let his team down, only scoring 15 (I’d trade him away) and the old man S Smith got injured early on.  LO got another ridiculous day from Freeman, 32, and no one else.  May be a good time for her to build up her team in a mutually beneficial trade!!

    And NOW THE FAMILY FUED!! Cats owner Holamon vs TSMYTDs owner T Holamon. Cats were 4 pt favs to start and 43 pt winners at the end. Hola has some bright spots with Arian Foster coming back and Fitz playing well.  Bench is beat up pretty good with Luck, McCoy and Bell. Cats on the other hand scored 157 (loss) last week and was high score this week with 96. Cats bench…. Despite Adams being out……… Out scored everyone…..everyone….. Including the Cats starters.  The Cats GM is awaiting your calls.

      One quarter through our FFL season and it’s time to look at the numbers and see who is for real and who is on borrowed time.
EAST
DFUN     4-0   PF-367 (least)      PA-327 (least)
LO           2-2   PF-437 (most)     PA-461  (most)
GRID.      2-2   PF-395 (2nd)      PA-352 (2nd least)
CATS.      1-3   PF-378 (3rd).     PA-404 (2nd most)

WEST
TBIAC.      2-2   PF-404 (most).   PA-349 (least)
PIGG.         2-2.  PF-378 (2nd).     PA-365 (2nd most)
TSMYTDs. 2-2.  PF-355 (3rd).     PA-414 (most)
DSVP.         1-3.  PF-316 (least).   PA-358 (2nd least)

LO is the bad luck winner for the first four while DFUN is by far the “lucky bastard” with the least points scored and least scored against him and 4-0!

   Week 5 will clarify everything. Guaranteed. Just like ESPN projections.

Guatanteed!

Week 3 or "sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains-Bull Durham"

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     Two close games  and two beat downs.  Things happened in week 3 that could only be explained by angry FFL Gods or just the “end of times” are nigh.  A backup nobody RB (Freeman) goes for 37, a has-been (C2K) scores twice, a millionaire cologne/underwear thief (Randle) steals 27 and an old old man (S. Smith) hits 30!  J Charles gets held down by his head coach (moron Andy Reid), Big Ben went down with a knee injury, trade-rape (J. Jones) hits 19, and the “Beast-mode” goes “Bitch-mode” with 1. This reporter is not sure if anything cleared up this week or if this thing is still up in the air (being 0-3, I believe it’s still up in the air).

    The Beatdowns-
     TBIAC 110- 84 DSVP.  Penner drops to 0-3 behind CJ Anderson’s continued decline and J Maclin on the pine with 20 (though in his defense, a KC WR catching a TD hadn’t happened in 18 games under the drunk bus-driver of a QB A Smith).  The Capt obviously has been reading the blog and finally benched S Bradford (now trade me A Brown) for the ageless wonder C Palmer 18 (good luck with him being healthy, he wears a Life-Alert bracelet). 20 from Gore and a monster 28pt game from R Cobb finished off the the winless bitches……sorry….. Pugs.
     PIGG destroys TSMYTDs, 148-88.  Luck goes for 16 (a great game for him this season) and Fitz with 25 was all the TSMYTD’S coach gave his team this week.  Cam Newton 25 and Ingram 15 on the bench wouldn’t have helped under the PIG-NADO storm of the century!  Raaaawwwwwddddjjjjaaaaasss hits 34, Randle shoplifted 27, (good luck on that happening again), and the age-less wonder S Smith 30. B Marshall 14, K with 16 and D Thomas at 13 made this matchup look like it happened on Mason Vergers farm. (clue- Hannibal Lecter) not pretty!
      Ceiling Cats get starter-raped by the KC Chiefs and the collusion of our “commish” (we need to vote on this position soon. Seriously, he is a menace).  After a text from our “leader” LO picks up D Freeman 37 and C2K 27 at the last second, leaving number 1overall pick E Lacey on the bench. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm, sounds like someone has inside knowlege.  This game is under league review, and the Cats firmly believe they will be victorious upon full disclosure (it’s not under review, we don’t have a review policy, and I hate DFUN).  Maybe this is payback for the week 1 shoot out that LO lost 143-121. I don’t know, but I do know the Cats were robbed, I think we can all agree on that. Can’t we………
    And now to the only bright shiny light so far in this FFL season, DFUN 99- GRID 97!!!
GRID was a 35 point favorite to start the weekend until a K and trade-rape J Jones came along Sunday night to hand the defending champ (still under review, see above disclaimer) his first heart breaking loss.  Gronk only had 10, ODB and Hopkins combine for 29. As we have seen before (DSVP) when your K is the high score, your in trouble, Gostkowski 17.  But despite Marshawn’s 1 pt disappointment (might want to think trade, Cats have about ten fabulous RB’s) GRID went into Monday night with an insurmountable 26 point lead with only the above K and trade-raper Jones left to play.  Being an impartial newsman, I kept GRID and his soon to be fired group of FFL analytic experts updated on each catch and field goal.  I can only assume he was busy interviewing a new set of fantasy nerds to do his bidding and was unable to reply to my texts. We will just say “no comment” from GRID.
    EAST- DFUN 3-0 GRID 2-1 LO 1-2 CATS 0-3
    WEST- TBIAC 2-1 PIGG 2-1 TSMYTD’S 2-1 DSVP 0-3
Next week we will get into the numbers.  Let’s just say, as usual, there are inconsistencies (poor LO, lucky-ass DFUN)! 

Week 2 or "whoever does ESPN projections should be fired"

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ULate report for Week 2, sorry. Not really. Moving on to the highlights (or lowlights for some).

4 games, 16 point differential was the closest game, 52 the biggest.  I blame our commissioner for his insane point settings, or GRID. Not sure what he did but I blame him anyway.  ESPN had point spread of 3 for a 51pt game, 10 for 41pt spread, a 10 pt underdog winning by 16 and TSMYTDs actually close in the prediction of his beat down of DSVP! My advice, keep basing every move on ESPN predictions. Please!!
 
    103-52 GRID slips by the Cats.  In the first big trade of the year, the Cats picked up Jeremy Hill for James Jones. Hill paid back the Cats with a solid -1. Dick.  Andre Johnson continues to fail.  Can’t miss DEF, -1,  and a combined two week total for A. Vinatieri……..-2.   GRID, through the foresight of his team of paid FFL experts posted his second big game of the season.  Russel Wilson was nice, Marshawn disappointed, Hyde fell back to earth (5pts). ODB tossed in 19, Gronk was HELD to 17 and Gostkowski 19pts. From a kicker? WTF!!! I thought DSVP was the only team that was led by a K (and hometown refs against the mighty LaTech Bulldogs!).  Like last year, Cats start out slumping and GRID “comes out” “flaming” hot.  I’m not inferring anything….. Really….. Ok Im pissed I lost…..
     114-73 Capt v PIGG. In a battle of  1-1 teams, Capt squeaks out the win by 41.  Romo goes out for PIGG, crushing his chances, and Cowboy fans dreams.  Luckily PIGG has Rrrrroooodddddjjjjaaaasss. 21pts. Bench. Next to T Smith 20 and Bernard 13. Wouldn’t have mattered since TBIAC aka CAPT recently sold his soul to the devil (GRID?) for a FFL victory.  How else can you explain a team that starts Sam Bradford, AGAIN, and yet wins the game?  Bradford had his best game of his sad career, 6pts.  Forte somehow is still not injured after 2 whole games.  21pts, and 15pts from D and K is the proof of the unholy alliance.  On the upside, A Brown continues dominating. The only thing that could stop Antonio Brown is…… I don’t know…… Big Ben injury? Awwww that will never happen. 
     In a 32 point nail biter, TSMYTD’s smacks DSVP, paying the Wildcat owner back for their grand larceny Saturday. Karma DSVP…..karma. When Julian Edelman is your leading scorer, ever, you will be losing. Edelman 22pts.  3 pts combined for both RBs!  Not a good week. Fluke? Reality? Payback? (I like to think so, Go Dawgs!!).  For the victor, A Luck continues to crush owners hope (you remember don’t you Capt? You remember how your “Luck just ran out”? Huh, do you remember. Do ya?). McCoy actually hit double digits and three strong games from the WR/flex positions and 18 from D was enough to make up for the “bad” Luck.
     In the “close” game of the week LO pulled a defeat out from the jaws of victory for another LOSS 78-94 to the hot start DFUN, (the guy who made our stupid scoring system, see above). LO learned a lesson week 1 and benched Peyton, and got 28 from Brady’s deflated balls. Lacey, the overall #1 pick was injured early, never a good thing and finished with zip, nada, zero.  WR played strong but not enough to overcome the James Jones led DFUN. Jones continues to only catch TDs (unlike the trade-rape Jeremy Hill). AP ran like he had been “switched” in the ba….. You know where I’m going…..16pts. 12pts from Watkins (good luck waiting on this to happen again) and 16 from D was enough to finish this week of FFL sadness.

   TSMYTD’S, DFUN and GRID 2-0
   PIGG, TBIAC 1-1
    LO, DSVP and Cats 0-2
 Week 3 should bring clarity to the league as the cream rises to the top and the rest fall away as they usually do (you know who you are). Let’s make some trades (not with Capt) and stop looking at waiver wire, there is nothing there, nothing. I’ve looked….often…a lot….maybe to much…
   It’s been a long week!


Week 1 Recap- "Taco Tuesday comes a day early! or The YEAR of the TE’s"

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    One fluke beat down, two close ones and a shoot-out for Week 1!  Many strange things happened (Cats losing) on the opening week of FFL 2015!  Is Peyton finished (5 pts)? Are TE’s the new dominate force (27, 23, 22, 22, 18, 14, 13, 11, 11, 11)?  Will Chip Kelley be DeMarco Murrays kryptonite (8 carries 9 yds)? Will Gronk set a record for points scored (pray for injury or some kind of Gronk-gate to slow him down)? Should we even have K’s (-1 Cats, 4 Grid) or try and play multiple K’s (DSVP 18, LO 17)?  Is AP going to get “swatted” of the top RB list (10 for 31yds)?  Many questions and only 13 weeks left till the Shiva-Bow playoffs!!!
    Yankees v Team K-  Pigg 90- 83 DSVP. RRaaahhhddggeerrrss goes for 22, no surprise. A Morris with 121yds, surprise! Solid game from Marshall and Graham 11, 12pts.  This was enough to beat DSVP’s K who was about the only player to suit up this weekend. Bree’s continues to decline, 16 pts. 10 pts total for starting RB’s and DSVP’s FLEX injured (what a BIG surprise, I had him last year).  Pigg needs some RB help and DSVP needs to travel back in time and re-draft. (Editors note- these opinions are based on fact and stat calculation and spite. We do not condone or agree with any predictions herein).
     Team Quick Start v Team Dissapointing- DFUN wins snoozer 90-74 over sad Cats. 14 from the Ravens D, 18 from Big Ben, Hill 18 and many bad days for the Cats team sealed the deal. 21 from Chris Ivory, 15 from JC AND Dolphins 14. Tannehill sucked, 14 pts combined for RB, WR, WR, and TE killed any chance of winning. Oh yeah, almost forgot, -1 for K. Bad day, bad loss to inferior team (see editors notes above).  DFUN will face challenges with Dez out 4-6 weeks and if AP continues downhill.  Cats either had a bad week or a terrible draft. We will see
     Capt Lucky v Team So Close- GRID starts out just as he finished last season, with a W. No post championship slacking here. Gronk. Nuff said. Carlos Hyde 29 WTF? Panthers 22 (they WERE playing JAC). Hopkins 23 with that QB dumpster fire in HOU? So freakin lucky!  Poor LO, second most points scored…..Loss.  What could LO have done differently? RB, RB, WR, TE, K and D were really nice. FLEX? Zero points for DeSean Jackson (injured) Rashad Jennings on bench with 11. That would have closed the 143-121 gap, but not enough. Hmmmmmm….. what else could LO have done……? Maybe start Brady and his 27pts instead of rag-arm Manning 5pts?  Who could have known?  Grid will fall back to earth with a middle-of-the-road team and no bench, or most likely continue getting lucky week by week.  LO has a nice team but some glaring holes. Will LO sit on her team like last year or make some tough decisions and fight for the playoffs? Again, we shall see.
     Taco Bowl- SMYTD’s edges out TBIAC 106-102 thanks to OU Sooner Sam Bradfords losing ways!!!! With a chance to win, Bradford tossed another INT, -2, to seal the fate for the former CAPT and the EAGLES😄. SMYTD’s had big games from Kelce 22, Allen 16, Luck 17 and the Jets D 14.  TBIAC made it through week 1 without Forte 22, being injured. A. Brown continues dominating with 19 and the Broncos D tossed in 18.  SMYTD’s looking pretty solid if McCoy can play like 2013 and Kelce is for realz.  Capt will continue to struggle as long as Bradford is leading his team (to the losers bracket for the first time, next to DFUN, not HIS first time). Tying his WR to Bradford also seems like a bad idea, Matthews, but the Capt has been questioned before and has his name on the Shiva trophy. We will see what happens in upcoming weeks
    Conclusions-  TE was ridiculous this week.  Maybe it’s early on safety blanket play? Maybe everyone wants a Gronk? I bet next week cools off at the position, except for the Cats whose TE did nada this week. Comeback time!! Broncos and Peyton? New offenseive scheme? Great Ravens D? If the decline is real many of us have a problem (Thomas, Sanders, Anderson, etc). If it’s a one week blip, things will get back to normal. I’m betting somewhere in the middle.
     NEXT WEEK- Cats v Grid, Pigg v TBIAC, SMYTD’s v DSVP AND DFUN V LO.
Will teams make moves? (Possible) Will TBIAC send Cats a ridiculously unfair trade offer? (Most
likely). Will LO play Manning or Brady (or bench both somehow)? Will DSVP START 7 kickers (should)? Many questions, no answers, just ridiculous commentary and 13 weeks to go!!

Ceiling Cats training camp 2015

2015 FFL draft Recap and Predictions

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Welcome to “This is Serious Business” 2015!  Last year was another horribly disappointing season that ended, disappointingly, with the GRID taking home the trophy. Sheer luck? Timing? Hard work and study? No. GRID, and Capt, hired outside representation to draft and run their teams.  They got the idea from Dr Andre from “the League”. But much like Dre, they have been OUTED.  As cheaters, not the other “outed”……..yet.

    Ceiling Cats were the underdog of last season making a final four game winning streak to make the playoffs and knock out the “would have been” first time playoff qualifier DFUN.  If anyone remembers (Felix), all DFUN had to do was win one game of the last four to make the promise land. But a huge trade and some familial backstabbing sealed DFUN’s fate, again, as last place!  DVP, the new guy rounded out the playoff teams.  LO fought her own uphill battles with AP going out for beating his kid with a tree branch ( irony for a team formerly known as baby-snatchers?). PIGG made a run but came up short in the end. Overall not a bad showing for the only Yankee in our League.  HOLA had moments, beating the Cats, but didn’t have enough to finish in the top four, prompting a name change this year to “show me yo TDs”. We shall see if the TDs flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano for “SMYTDs”
   On to the draft analysis.  This year, with an upgraded budget from the Commish, we have entered all drafts into the ESPN/YAHOO/NASA search engines and let them decide who is triumphant and who has failed miserably.  Oh yeah, and the new sacko award (last place) will be the renaming of the losing team by the championship team for the entire year. No one wants me to name their team.  Oops, jumping ahead of the analysis.
    GRID- it seems like the “champ” has had a hard financial year. Clearly the professional scouts that picked his team last yar were not brought back this season. Any team starting J Stewart, like Sisyphus,  is bound to Hell. Nuff said.
    TBIAC, formerly the Capt continues his risk taking ways with S Bradford as his opening day QB and D McFadden on his roster. Combined games between the two played in the last four years. Four. And to decrease his chance of me naming him, oops, of the ANALYSIS naming him champ, he has M Forte and R Matthews.  ESPN/YAHOO/NASA  projects TBIAC to be the first team ever to forfeit the season for not filling out a starting lineup.
   Ceiling Cats-  this team really put the work in over the offseason.  Mock drafts, player analysis, naps, drinking….. The Cats really shored up their only minuscule weakness, drafting. More RBs than they can play, up and coming QB, exciting rookies, the whole package.  Look for Cats to dominate the season until stumbling in the first round of the playoffs causing 6 months of non-stop “what-if” conversations.
    DSVP- looks like his alma mater K-State (see Internet band pic). First glance, pretty good. Will they be in the big game. ESPN/YAHOO/NASA says NO. A Ellington, TY Hilton, J Maclin are all question marks. They could prove our analysis wrong……but they won’t.   
    LO- fought back from her first rd draft pick being sidelined for the year to, compete for last place! Not trading at mid season (with the Cats) most likely cost her a playoff run.  This year she brought in her draft expert who quickly got drunk at the draft party and kept talking about ” Carnies have small hands and smell like cabbage” not sure LO got value for her dollar with that “expert”. E Lacy could be a nice pick at #1, D Murray will be interesting to see in his new uniform, J Jones is great if not injured and the Seahawks have been dominate for years now.  Downside, P Manning and his rubber arm, Jason Witten and his NOT catching TDs and the restoff LO’ s team except deflategate T Brady. Despite the faults, could make a run for the playoffs….probably not.
    PIGG- one of the savviest trade partners in the ffl game today.  For the second year in a row he picks up A Rodgers.  D Thomas at WR and the Texans at D all great picks,  but obviously had to leave the draft to tend other matters after that.  How else can one explain starting J Randle and A Morris at RB. Hmmmmmm…….a Yankee from Virginia (close to DC) and a born Cowboy fan picks their respective RBs. Coincidence or homer-ism? We shall see.
    SMYTDS- new name, new team, new finish?  Luck, McCoy, Megatron, Sanders, Foster, Fitzgerald.  This team has the fire power to fight for contention. Bench is fairly solid.  Injuries and depth are the only questions left. Could this be the year for our 4th new champion?
   Final analysis- I don’t know. Felix’s check was sent via some weird Internet thing and no one would except it so we got no analysis, well……. Except for mine which is usually dead on.  Thursday night starts things off, make sure to check injuries. And Felix, trust in the “muscle hamster” D Martin. He is going to be awesome…….

Addendum-  forgot someone, oopsie!

DFUN- the commish started off strong until it came to crunch time. With 4 games to go, and needing only one win….. We all know how that ended!!
  This year, DFUN hit the books. Big Ben, AP, Hill, dez, alshon. Boooooom!! Looks like a playoff ready team. Bench looks weak (Vereen, Martin, garçon). A couple good trades could keep last years nightmare (so with only four games left all DFUN had to do was win just one….. We still remember…..last place) from happening again. Or not.