Month: September 2015

Week 2 or "whoever does ESPN projections should be fired"

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ULate report for Week 2, sorry. Not really. Moving on to the highlights (or lowlights for some).

4 games, 16 point differential was the closest game, 52 the biggest.  I blame our commissioner for his insane point settings, or GRID. Not sure what he did but I blame him anyway.  ESPN had point spread of 3 for a 51pt game, 10 for 41pt spread, a 10 pt underdog winning by 16 and TSMYTDs actually close in the prediction of his beat down of DSVP! My advice, keep basing every move on ESPN predictions. Please!!
 
    103-52 GRID slips by the Cats.  In the first big trade of the year, the Cats picked up Jeremy Hill for James Jones. Hill paid back the Cats with a solid -1. Dick.  Andre Johnson continues to fail.  Can’t miss DEF, -1,  and a combined two week total for A. Vinatieri……..-2.   GRID, through the foresight of his team of paid FFL experts posted his second big game of the season.  Russel Wilson was nice, Marshawn disappointed, Hyde fell back to earth (5pts). ODB tossed in 19, Gronk was HELD to 17 and Gostkowski 19pts. From a kicker? WTF!!! I thought DSVP was the only team that was led by a K (and hometown refs against the mighty LaTech Bulldogs!).  Like last year, Cats start out slumping and GRID “comes out” “flaming” hot.  I’m not inferring anything….. Really….. Ok Im pissed I lost…..
     114-73 Capt v PIGG. In a battle of  1-1 teams, Capt squeaks out the win by 41.  Romo goes out for PIGG, crushing his chances, and Cowboy fans dreams.  Luckily PIGG has Rrrrroooodddddjjjjaaaasss. 21pts. Bench. Next to T Smith 20 and Bernard 13. Wouldn’t have mattered since TBIAC aka CAPT recently sold his soul to the devil (GRID?) for a FFL victory.  How else can you explain a team that starts Sam Bradford, AGAIN, and yet wins the game?  Bradford had his best game of his sad career, 6pts.  Forte somehow is still not injured after 2 whole games.  21pts, and 15pts from D and K is the proof of the unholy alliance.  On the upside, A Brown continues dominating. The only thing that could stop Antonio Brown is…… I don’t know…… Big Ben injury? Awwww that will never happen. 
     In a 32 point nail biter, TSMYTD’s smacks DSVP, paying the Wildcat owner back for their grand larceny Saturday. Karma DSVP…..karma. When Julian Edelman is your leading scorer, ever, you will be losing. Edelman 22pts.  3 pts combined for both RBs!  Not a good week. Fluke? Reality? Payback? (I like to think so, Go Dawgs!!).  For the victor, A Luck continues to crush owners hope (you remember don’t you Capt? You remember how your “Luck just ran out”? Huh, do you remember. Do ya?). McCoy actually hit double digits and three strong games from the WR/flex positions and 18 from D was enough to make up for the “bad” Luck.
     In the “close” game of the week LO pulled a defeat out from the jaws of victory for another LOSS 78-94 to the hot start DFUN, (the guy who made our stupid scoring system, see above). LO learned a lesson week 1 and benched Peyton, and got 28 from Brady’s deflated balls. Lacey, the overall #1 pick was injured early, never a good thing and finished with zip, nada, zero.  WR played strong but not enough to overcome the James Jones led DFUN. Jones continues to only catch TDs (unlike the trade-rape Jeremy Hill). AP ran like he had been “switched” in the ba….. You know where I’m going…..16pts. 12pts from Watkins (good luck waiting on this to happen again) and 16 from D was enough to finish this week of FFL sadness.

   TSMYTD’S, DFUN and GRID 2-0
   PIGG, TBIAC 1-1
    LO, DSVP and Cats 0-2
 Week 3 should bring clarity to the league as the cream rises to the top and the rest fall away as they usually do (you know who you are). Let’s make some trades (not with Capt) and stop looking at waiver wire, there is nothing there, nothing. I’ve looked….often…a lot….maybe to much…
   It’s been a long week!


Week 1 Recap- "Taco Tuesday comes a day early! or The YEAR of the TE’s"

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    One fluke beat down, two close ones and a shoot-out for Week 1!  Many strange things happened (Cats losing) on the opening week of FFL 2015!  Is Peyton finished (5 pts)? Are TE’s the new dominate force (27, 23, 22, 22, 18, 14, 13, 11, 11, 11)?  Will Chip Kelley be DeMarco Murrays kryptonite (8 carries 9 yds)? Will Gronk set a record for points scored (pray for injury or some kind of Gronk-gate to slow him down)? Should we even have K’s (-1 Cats, 4 Grid) or try and play multiple K’s (DSVP 18, LO 17)?  Is AP going to get “swatted” of the top RB list (10 for 31yds)?  Many questions and only 13 weeks left till the Shiva-Bow playoffs!!!
    Yankees v Team K-  Pigg 90- 83 DSVP. RRaaahhhddggeerrrss goes for 22, no surprise. A Morris with 121yds, surprise! Solid game from Marshall and Graham 11, 12pts.  This was enough to beat DSVP’s K who was about the only player to suit up this weekend. Bree’s continues to decline, 16 pts. 10 pts total for starting RB’s and DSVP’s FLEX injured (what a BIG surprise, I had him last year).  Pigg needs some RB help and DSVP needs to travel back in time and re-draft. (Editors note- these opinions are based on fact and stat calculation and spite. We do not condone or agree with any predictions herein).
     Team Quick Start v Team Dissapointing- DFUN wins snoozer 90-74 over sad Cats. 14 from the Ravens D, 18 from Big Ben, Hill 18 and many bad days for the Cats team sealed the deal. 21 from Chris Ivory, 15 from JC AND Dolphins 14. Tannehill sucked, 14 pts combined for RB, WR, WR, and TE killed any chance of winning. Oh yeah, almost forgot, -1 for K. Bad day, bad loss to inferior team (see editors notes above).  DFUN will face challenges with Dez out 4-6 weeks and if AP continues downhill.  Cats either had a bad week or a terrible draft. We will see
     Capt Lucky v Team So Close- GRID starts out just as he finished last season, with a W. No post championship slacking here. Gronk. Nuff said. Carlos Hyde 29 WTF? Panthers 22 (they WERE playing JAC). Hopkins 23 with that QB dumpster fire in HOU? So freakin lucky!  Poor LO, second most points scored…..Loss.  What could LO have done differently? RB, RB, WR, TE, K and D were really nice. FLEX? Zero points for DeSean Jackson (injured) Rashad Jennings on bench with 11. That would have closed the 143-121 gap, but not enough. Hmmmmmm….. what else could LO have done……? Maybe start Brady and his 27pts instead of rag-arm Manning 5pts?  Who could have known?  Grid will fall back to earth with a middle-of-the-road team and no bench, or most likely continue getting lucky week by week.  LO has a nice team but some glaring holes. Will LO sit on her team like last year or make some tough decisions and fight for the playoffs? Again, we shall see.
     Taco Bowl- SMYTD’s edges out TBIAC 106-102 thanks to OU Sooner Sam Bradfords losing ways!!!! With a chance to win, Bradford tossed another INT, -2, to seal the fate for the former CAPT and the EAGLES😄. SMYTD’s had big games from Kelce 22, Allen 16, Luck 17 and the Jets D 14.  TBIAC made it through week 1 without Forte 22, being injured. A. Brown continues dominating with 19 and the Broncos D tossed in 18.  SMYTD’s looking pretty solid if McCoy can play like 2013 and Kelce is for realz.  Capt will continue to struggle as long as Bradford is leading his team (to the losers bracket for the first time, next to DFUN, not HIS first time). Tying his WR to Bradford also seems like a bad idea, Matthews, but the Capt has been questioned before and has his name on the Shiva trophy. We will see what happens in upcoming weeks
    Conclusions-  TE was ridiculous this week.  Maybe it’s early on safety blanket play? Maybe everyone wants a Gronk? I bet next week cools off at the position, except for the Cats whose TE did nada this week. Comeback time!! Broncos and Peyton? New offenseive scheme? Great Ravens D? If the decline is real many of us have a problem (Thomas, Sanders, Anderson, etc). If it’s a one week blip, things will get back to normal. I’m betting somewhere in the middle.
     NEXT WEEK- Cats v Grid, Pigg v TBIAC, SMYTD’s v DSVP AND DFUN V LO.
Will teams make moves? (Possible) Will TBIAC send Cats a ridiculously unfair trade offer? (Most
likely). Will LO play Manning or Brady (or bench both somehow)? Will DSVP START 7 kickers (should)? Many questions, no answers, just ridiculous commentary and 13 weeks to go!!

Ceiling Cats training camp 2015

2015 FFL draft Recap and Predictions

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Welcome to “This is Serious Business” 2015!  Last year was another horribly disappointing season that ended, disappointingly, with the GRID taking home the trophy. Sheer luck? Timing? Hard work and study? No. GRID, and Capt, hired outside representation to draft and run their teams.  They got the idea from Dr Andre from “the League”. But much like Dre, they have been OUTED.  As cheaters, not the other “outed”……..yet.

    Ceiling Cats were the underdog of last season making a final four game winning streak to make the playoffs and knock out the “would have been” first time playoff qualifier DFUN.  If anyone remembers (Felix), all DFUN had to do was win one game of the last four to make the promise land. But a huge trade and some familial backstabbing sealed DFUN’s fate, again, as last place!  DVP, the new guy rounded out the playoff teams.  LO fought her own uphill battles with AP going out for beating his kid with a tree branch ( irony for a team formerly known as baby-snatchers?). PIGG made a run but came up short in the end. Overall not a bad showing for the only Yankee in our League.  HOLA had moments, beating the Cats, but didn’t have enough to finish in the top four, prompting a name change this year to “show me yo TDs”. We shall see if the TDs flows like wine, where beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano for “SMYTDs”
   On to the draft analysis.  This year, with an upgraded budget from the Commish, we have entered all drafts into the ESPN/YAHOO/NASA search engines and let them decide who is triumphant and who has failed miserably.  Oh yeah, and the new sacko award (last place) will be the renaming of the losing team by the championship team for the entire year. No one wants me to name their team.  Oops, jumping ahead of the analysis.
    GRID- it seems like the “champ” has had a hard financial year. Clearly the professional scouts that picked his team last yar were not brought back this season. Any team starting J Stewart, like Sisyphus,  is bound to Hell. Nuff said.
    TBIAC, formerly the Capt continues his risk taking ways with S Bradford as his opening day QB and D McFadden on his roster. Combined games between the two played in the last four years. Four. And to decrease his chance of me naming him, oops, of the ANALYSIS naming him champ, he has M Forte and R Matthews.  ESPN/YAHOO/NASA  projects TBIAC to be the first team ever to forfeit the season for not filling out a starting lineup.
   Ceiling Cats-  this team really put the work in over the offseason.  Mock drafts, player analysis, naps, drinking….. The Cats really shored up their only minuscule weakness, drafting. More RBs than they can play, up and coming QB, exciting rookies, the whole package.  Look for Cats to dominate the season until stumbling in the first round of the playoffs causing 6 months of non-stop “what-if” conversations.
    DSVP- looks like his alma mater K-State (see Internet band pic). First glance, pretty good. Will they be in the big game. ESPN/YAHOO/NASA says NO. A Ellington, TY Hilton, J Maclin are all question marks. They could prove our analysis wrong……but they won’t.   
    LO- fought back from her first rd draft pick being sidelined for the year to, compete for last place! Not trading at mid season (with the Cats) most likely cost her a playoff run.  This year she brought in her draft expert who quickly got drunk at the draft party and kept talking about ” Carnies have small hands and smell like cabbage” not sure LO got value for her dollar with that “expert”. E Lacy could be a nice pick at #1, D Murray will be interesting to see in his new uniform, J Jones is great if not injured and the Seahawks have been dominate for years now.  Downside, P Manning and his rubber arm, Jason Witten and his NOT catching TDs and the restoff LO’ s team except deflategate T Brady. Despite the faults, could make a run for the playoffs….probably not.
    PIGG- one of the savviest trade partners in the ffl game today.  For the second year in a row he picks up A Rodgers.  D Thomas at WR and the Texans at D all great picks,  but obviously had to leave the draft to tend other matters after that.  How else can one explain starting J Randle and A Morris at RB. Hmmmmmm…….a Yankee from Virginia (close to DC) and a born Cowboy fan picks their respective RBs. Coincidence or homer-ism? We shall see.
    SMYTDS- new name, new team, new finish?  Luck, McCoy, Megatron, Sanders, Foster, Fitzgerald.  This team has the fire power to fight for contention. Bench is fairly solid.  Injuries and depth are the only questions left. Could this be the year for our 4th new champion?
   Final analysis- I don’t know. Felix’s check was sent via some weird Internet thing and no one would except it so we got no analysis, well……. Except for mine which is usually dead on.  Thursday night starts things off, make sure to check injuries. And Felix, trust in the “muscle hamster” D Martin. He is going to be awesome…….

Addendum-  forgot someone, oopsie!

DFUN- the commish started off strong until it came to crunch time. With 4 games to go, and needing only one win….. We all know how that ended!!
  This year, DFUN hit the books. Big Ben, AP, Hill, dez, alshon. Boooooom!! Looks like a playoff ready team. Bench looks weak (Vereen, Martin, garçon). A couple good trades could keep last years nightmare (so with only four games left all DFUN had to do was win just one….. We still remember…..last place) from happening again. Or not.