This is Serious Business FFL

Another week complete, 5 wins 5 losses. For some, 5 teams, you are 3-1 and looking like you’ve done this before. Diesel and LGB at 2-2 fighting to stay relevant. Then the bottom dwellers…. Still circling the roundabout for the 4th week in a row, just trying to exit right, but just can’t seem to get over… AintReba and the Commish at 0-4. With AintReba’s history, no one is shocked at her start, but with DFUN, we are even less surprised. They are both terrible at FFL but you’ve got to love their tenacity😂. And then, the peoples Champ, the Lil d Ceiling Cats….1-3. Slump-buster complete, winning streak to begin (probably not). So as week 5 begins, go set those lineups, make some moves, and let’s FFL the sh$t out of this pig!!

Big Diesel took the week 4 off when he played AintReba at his Oakmont Country Club Polo and American Football field and Estates (sooo pretty). 120-91. Josh Allen and DK couldn’t beat Diesel all by themselves. Mahomie 23, Jeff Wilson Jr (UNT’s own) 13 and the resurgent, soon to be benched, CEH 21. Again K and DEF played a big part with Reba totaling 17 from her special teams and BD 41 led by 33 from the Niners D. Easy W for Diesel, and at least AintReba got to enjoy Prime Rib night at the CC. (She ordered it well done😩).

Nizzle02 hosted LGB a the Grider Pay-Day Loan and Pawn Stadium and Govt Housing Arena. Two heavyweights. Two owners who have never met but still HATE the other. One loves guns, the other has body guards! Lets GET IT ONNNNN! 141-102. It’s over. Nizzle02 looks unstoppable as his highly paid team of FFL GMs and scouts have finally put together a winning team (bout damn time). LGB wasn’t bad, just a bad matchup this week. Deebo was brilliant. Tee Higgins keeps stealing points from Jamar Chase and CMC still isn’t injured?? But, Nizz got 29 from JJacobs (resurgence??) and a shock-the-world 31 from TJ Hockenson and solid games from the rest. It was to much to overcome this week, but word on the street is Nizzle02’s weakness (if there is one) is his bench. Let’s all hope….

The Ceiling Cats (kittens of late) were out late, on the mean streets of lil d looking for a fight, an easy fight. And there, across a crowded bar, eyes locked…. DFUN, aka the Commish. He was drunk on anime, smelled of cabbage, and wore long pants. The Cats stood tall, as much as he could, lean, as much as possible in a jumpsuit, and ready to rumble. Ready to teach a slump-buster what a slump-busters job is. The GOAT finally played well 25 (divorce talk to come), Evans 22 and 24 from Koo and GB Def. For the Commish, Raaaawwwwdddjjjjjaaaas was ok, J Taylor got hurt, Kelce and Ceedee snagged 15 each and Penny had the game of his career (sell high) with 27. But a slump-buster is what it is and this week was no exception. Cats 112-93. First win for the Cats (hopefully not last) and 4th loss for the DFUN ( absolutely not his last).

LO vs the west coast plague, Vita-Mites. Laces Out dropped 118 points on her state income tax paying opponent. 21 from Herbert, 28 from Ekeler (sell high), 15 from Tyreek before they carted Tua off the field, mostly dead. And 26 from the K and Def!! But prices are inflated on both our coasts. California being a particular problem. Gas $6.69 a gallon. Loaf of bread $17.99. Homeless sleeping on every corner… free. But it also inflates the FFL scores. Barkley 16, JWilliams 22 and Big Mike Williams 12. 10 for K Carlson and 20 from the Philly Def made it a 124-118 game. If played in Florida or Texas, LO would have won by 3, but it wasn’t. Thanks Biden, inflation is a bitch!

And in the Monday Night Game, Pigg takes on TBIAC in a must win, big dawg, head to head matchup. Pigg is a newcomer to the “winning record” part of our FFL game while TBIAC has always been on the periphery, sometimes looking in, sometimes looking out. This week these two behemoths came out swinging…. softly with an open hand. Lamar Jackson 13, Joe Cool 20. Chubb and King Henry combined for 38, with Pigg scrambling for 20 at his RBs. WR was where this 7 yo girl tickle fight ended, 27 for Pigg (JJeff 21) and only 10 for the Capt. A teacher’s aide was called soon to break up the hair pulling and slapping that was this week 4 throw-down!!!!! (of girls pulling hair and slapping) . 94-87 Pigg

Soooo, week 5 up next. JTaylor out again, JWilliams out for the season, Corderelle P done for weeks, Stafford broken, Baker… well… Baker. We are all fighting our own FFL demons right now. Just remember that there is a long season ahead, wins and losses, crying (LGB), screaming (AintReba), redemption (all of us). Can’t be that bad though, at least we aren’t doing roundabouts……

Some are 3-0, some 0-3, everyone else in the middle. Good starts, bad starts….it’s a long season of ups and downs, injuries and breakouts, handcuffs and waiver wire saviors….and busts. Some big wins this week (LO) some teams may have fallen back to earth (Pigg) and some are right where the belong (DFUN). Some believe it’s bad luck or good luck or great coaching or some weird FFL curse (Cats). But the season goes on and always remember, if you believe in dinosaurs then they will believe in you. And if they believe in you, anything is possible!

TBIAC is off to a scorching 3-0 record with the most points scored (more below). He hosted the Big Diesel in a battle of heavyweights. Mahomie v Lamar 15-39. Jeff Wilson Jr (UNT’s own) 8- King Henry 20. Njoku 14- Andrew’s 20. K and Def were even, but 40 points from the QB is hard to overcome. TBIAC 148-97. The undisputed Champ (after 3 weeks) is TBIAC. Is it a mirage or can he keep this streak going? Week 4 will tell us more….

Vina-Mites hosted the Commish in his California stadium (surrounded by homeless and crime, but great weather!). Another great game by the West Coast newbie, 112 pts. Hurts 27, Cook 13, Barkley 18 and 23 from the Philly D. DFUN countered with 16 at QB, 19 at RB, 24 from the pass catchers and the usual 13 from Kelce at TE. But only 5 from da’ Bears D was just not enough to compete with Vita-Mites. A good game for both, but as usual the Commish takes the L.

In the weekly beat down, Nizzle02 helicoptered into Denton to take on the Cats. And left with the at least 2 of the Cats lives. 104-69. Murray and Brady were meh, RBs meh, Nizzles WR’s snagged 21, Cats caught 12. JRob rumbled for 17 while the hometown hero, Etienne only 7. Then we go to K and Def. 32 for Nizzle02 and 14 for the Kittens. Another win for the Corporation known as Nizz and another terrible loss for the Ceiling Cats.

LGB v AintReba. A battle between the last 9 seasons of the SackoBowl! They were at it again, but surprisingly with winning records. It was a tight one, with neither team wanting to win. But someone has too! Unless it’s a tie, then no one wins, but other than that, someone has to win!! Allen came out throwing with 26, Fournette stumbled for 7 and Henderson tripped for 1. LGB countered with 18 from Geno Smith (?) and 14 total from CMC and Dillon. Metcalf had 12 while Diggs 7, then D Moore got 1 and R Moore 0 (trying not to win). LGB won the TE battle 8-2 and the Flex 14-10. K and Def were a wash. Final 77-82. LGB wins, if you can call it that. AintReba is sure to start churning her roster this week after this weeks sad gridiron slap-fight.

Undefeated Laces Out takes on the one Yankee in the League, undefeated Pigg. this should have been the Sunday night game! Two monster teams going head to head for the chance to be second behind TBIAC. All the pregame hype was there, the fans were there, unfortunately both teams stayed home. 73-59. Stafford and Wentz were Stafford and Wentz. Mixon and Ekeler were terrible. Sanders and Williams were just slightly better than that. JJefferson (in a freak game) 1 and Tyreek (in a freak game) 3. Kirk and Waddle showed up to play with 13 and 11. Pittman only had 7 coming off an injury but Cordarelle Patterson, who did not get the memo on failing miserably this week, busted out with 21. Pigg won the special teams battle 17-9 but it was not enough to win…. or to even score 60. LO goes undefeated after 3 games.

Soooo, after 3 weeks we have TBIAC and LO undefeated. VM, Pigg, Nizz, and LGB AT 2-1. Big Diesel 1-2 and AintReba, the Commish, and Cats at a zero on the campaign. Injuries are starting to take effect, waiver wire adds are more important and trades need to be assessed. Is the GOAT over the hill? Is Barkley back? Josh Allen looks like an MVP but can Hurts stay in the hunt? Will King Henry reclaim his throne or will Mixon finally go to jail (with Tyreek)? Is Cooper Rush the future of the NFL? (No). Week 4 will give us the answers… and many more questions. Play on!

Welcome back to year 11 (I’m guessing) of “This is Serious Business” FFL extravaganza! Another year of drafting, managing and for some (Melissa) roster churning. We all made it through the new “Fantrax” draft, so congratulations! Always send ALLLLLLL questions to the Commish because he is the asshat that changed us to this platform😂. Welcome to the new guy, some Cali surfer dude, and I’ll just guess he won’t win a game this season (spoiler coming). To the rest of us, thank you for competing and donating your hard earned dollars to the Ceiling Cats, they appreciate it since there is now a third Cat in the mix and kitty litter isn’t cheap. It’s time to play some FFL and good luck to all of you, except DSVP aka Let’s Go Brandon, our returning champion (contested). Let’s play some FFL!!!!

Week 1, finding your lineup, waiting for the injuries, praying your auto draft worked, hoping this is the year you don’t win the “Sacko” (Steph). Always remember it’s a marathon and not a sprint, except for Grider aka Nizzle02, then it’s a sprint, go all out! Will Saquon be a FFL God, or go down with an injury, is Josh Allen Superman (most likely), will CMC play more than 4 games? Is the GOAT finally going to answer to Father Time, despite his magnificent jawline and perfect hair? Or is your whole team made of spare parts? All the questions will be answered over the next 17 GLORIOUS weeks! Let’s get to week 1….

In our first girl on girl cat fight of the season, AintReba went to Denton to take on lil Steph and her LacesOut squad. Nothing better than two Sacko contestants flailing away at the foosball! Both have heavyweight QBs, J Allen 31 pts and J Herbert 23 pts. Fournette and Gibson went for 13 apiece while Metcalf had 1 and Knox a giant 0.5 for AintReba. LacesOut countered with 15 from Ekeler and Williams combined but the Miami connection of Waddle and Tyreek had 26. The difference in week one came down to the flex position. LacesOut actually used a good player, Patterson 19, instead of a SECOND TE, Waller 7. (Who plays two TE in the FFL world?) The gamble lost and AintReba went out like “the night the lights went out in Georgia” 105-88

DFUN, the Commish, hosts the other Cali Surfer boy, Big Diesel. Again, two big time QBs, Mahomie and Raaaawwwdddggeerrs, a showdown for history! Mahomie, despite not having any WRs goes for 34 while the Packer Captain, without any WRs went for….. 3. Game over. Or is it? Diesel got 14 total from his starting backfield, Zeke and Kamara and WR JuJu. Michael Thomas exploded for 17 but TE had 0. For the Commish, Cam Akers ran for zero points (Commish was warned about this pick), but J Taylor rumbled for 23. Cedee disappointed, as all the ‘Boys did and caught 2 pts but Scary Terry grabbed 11 and Kelce 18. Sooo here we go, it’s down to the special teams…..MIA came up huge with 24 points for the Commish to take the lead but Deisel’s R Succop booted in 15 to squeak outa 97-96 victory! Great game between two mediocre teams!

Team Pigg welcomed Nizzle02 to his Yankee-land stadium. There is no love lost between these two, who have never met or spoken too, but still soooooo much bad blood! Guess what, 2 great QBs, Kyler v Joe Cool. Pretty even, Murray 18, Burrow 16. Nizzle02 backfield only ran for 14 while Pigg’s had 19. The matchup here was all about the WRs. Grider had Davatae 20 and Kupp, before his season ending injury happens, 18. Trey had J Jefferson 30 and Pittman 18. Huuuuge numbers for each team! TE and Flex both were terrible with a combined 9 and 11. But as stated earlier, K and DEF matter this year! Nizzle02 got 9 from Carlson and 8 from the Titans. Pigg kicked 8 from McPherson but ran away with the TB Def sacking the ‘Boys for 18 points and the week 1 victory 121-99!

Not much to talk about here. The Ceiling Cats welcomed the new guy, or girl, not real sure since we don’t have pronouns on the new platform (thanks Commish). As a welcome gift to our league, the Cats laid down like… cats. And got run over by the Vina-Mites (whatever the hell that is😂). Brady flailed around for 10, Najee got hurt, H Henry was terrible as expected . The Mites got 24 from Hurts, 23 and 10 from Swift and Cook ( before both of their upcoming injuries). WR was the only bright spot for the Cats with Chase and Evans going for 31 while the new guy’s WR had 8. But the day was won or lost on the flex position. Etienne 6 for the all time wins leader Cats, and 27 for the Vina-mites Saquon ( before his upcoming injury). 114-83. The new guy may be someone to worry about if his/her team stays healthy. Congrats on the first win!

Tom Brady is a Cheater aka the Captain takes on the serial Sacko winner DSVP now named Let’s go Brandon. LGB was a 30 point fave to start the day. Buts it’s FFL and you’ve got to play the game! Lamar v Dak. 20 to 4. CMC and Dillon rushed for 26 for LGB while TBIAC got 18 from his backfield. Diggs and Higgins combined for 20 while the Captains WRs caught 29 (told you the G Davis was a good pick!) Both TE were meh. And both flex were fantastic, A Brown 15, Diggs 18. Soooooo again we are back to K and DEF (seeing a pattern yet?) Prater 1, Tucker 6. IND 9, BUF 23. But this time it wasn’t enough (got ya), TBIAC takes the week 1 W 92-89. Fans at the stadium were heard saying the LGB team wasn’t able to to score enough to keep up with inflation (poor political joke, more to come).

Congrats to Todd (champion) and Melissa (sacko)

Here you go! Hope it’s enjoyed by all.Week 10 RecapHowdy, fellow FF guys/gals! My name is Melissa Ratley (aka ImBetteratMadden), and Senor Ceiling Cats (aka Matt) has asked me to guest-write the recap for Week 10! As some of you know, I’m a full-time Country singer-songwriter from Denton, but since that career path is virtually (pun intended?) non-existent at this time, and for the foreseeable future, I’m currently a 1st grade teacher to my adorable, intelligent, and certainly NOT patience-testing 6-year-old twin godchildren, Alexa and Claire. I guided them through the last three months of Kindergarden back in March of this year when this madness began, and have been called into action once again this past week when one of Claire’s classmates tested positive, forcing her class (and by familial association, her sister) into virtual learning until December 1st at the minimum. All is well among us, no symptoms of any sort (it’s likely they were exposed at least back in March by me and as recent as August by their Jiu Jitsu coach), but it’s a constant barrage all day of assignments, class meetings, and generally trying to keep both of them engaged/occupied enough to have just five GODDAMN minutes of peace an hour. You can imagine those segments of solitude are rarely achieved. 😊But enough about MY current shitshow, and a little about my time in the Fantasy sports world. I think I started playing Yahoo! Fantasy sports around 6th grade; I remember signing up for just about every sport, not having a clue of what I was doing, but basically doing so just because as long as I looked ‘busy’ on the computer during Library time, I didn’t have to get off. I do have three older brothers, who all cut out NCAA brackets, Fantasy sports clippings, and such from the Dallas Morning News when they showed up in the paper, so my knowledge of all things that had to do with sports was impressed upon me throughout my entire life. Did I get my ass kicked in just about every sports video game? You bet. Did one of them get grounded for doing so at least once? Absolutely. But I did learn to look closely at stats and such through these games, so I suppose there was one positive that came out of it. (Also I routinely kick their asses in front of their children when challenged these days…muahahahaha)As yall are aware, I joined this league on the same day the NFL season started, mainly because I didn’t think a season was going to happen. I happened to spot Matt, Courtney, and Felix at Eastside that night, who said they needed another warm body to manage a VERY mediocre auto-draft team, and I accepted. This season has certainly had its ups and downs (and positives and negatives…bad dum TISKKKK) but between not having much to do in the music world, and herding two godchildren after school most days, it’s been nice to have something else to distract me, at least! Also this is my first year using ESPN, as I’ve always used Yahoo! Fantasy Sports, but I have to say, it’s a pretty friendly app.I’ll be totally honest, I still don’t understand how the traditions work in this league, but as the resident ‘roster churner’ of the league, IM STILL IN THE HUNT BITCHES. I don’t intend to slow down any time soon. Being a ‘waiver wire wench’ is not something for the faint of heart, and yes, it’s VERY much risk/reward, but as our friend Matty Ice has stated, ‘Improvise, adapt, overcome.’If you’ve made it this far…Congrats! Lets talk Week 10 Recap:My auto-drafted, roster churned shit show of a team (ImBetteratMadden) faced off again Team Bizness, who is apparently a fellow musician, but was certainly out of tune with his roster choices, as he left Jordan Howard (apparently no longer a Dolphin) who had a BYE week on his starting roster, had a severe underperformance from Michael Thomas (I sympathize here as I have him in my Yahoo league, ugh) and had the Denver D turn in a -4 with a final score of 82-39 in favor of yours truly. Ya girl is sittin at .500 with a record of 5-5 and Team Biz firmly holding on to last place at 1-9…for good.Next up, Dysfunctionally United and TBIAC locked horns, and while TBIAC had a solid performance from Matt Prater, essentially their most reliable Fantasy player, the absence of the Rams D and Juju from the starting roster, who could have possibly made this a closer game with a combined 26 bench points, resulted in a 103-74 game. Dysfun continues the winning streak with 4 games in a row, and a record of 8-2, while TBIAC drops to .500 at 5-5.The aforementioned Senor Ceiling Cats, and purveyor of this blog (and domain name lol) faced off against The New Tanner…and it was just sad on the Tanner part. It seems he faced what all of us have at least once a Fantasy season, ‘Bye Week Hell’, as Zeke, Julio Jones, Butker, and Matt Ryan were ALL forced to the bench, and despite a strong showing from RJII in the Tampa game, the Ceiling Cats were dancing on the ceiling, floor, walls, etc. in this one with a final score of 134-59. The Cats had all but TWO players score in double digits. Someone send good vibes (or possibly a drink) to Tanner’s team, as they fall to 3-7, while the Cats improve to 6-4.I suppose there has to be one BOOOOORRRING game a week, and as it appears I’ve been the target for the most BOOOOORRRING team/game in this league SEVERAL times, that particular title in Week 10 goes to the matchup between All About da Chiefs Dawg, who took on Team Pigg. A couple of goose eggs on the Chiefs, along with an awful performance by Drew Lock, and possibly an overconfident hope that DeeJay Dallas would do something (it’s okay, I got burned by him last week) led to a total of 54 points, while Team Pigg didn’t have much to write home about either, with the Tennessee D turning in a -3, but hey, a win is a win.Finally, Big Diesel III faced off against Team Grider – and it wasn’t close OR pretty for Mr. Grider. And honestly, I’m not sure how you can justify starting the Giants D AND Duke Johnson and expect a win. A fat goose egg from Jimmy Graham and a poor week from the Seahawks top WR’s (Hotty Toddy to DK!) meant that Team Grider could only scrape up a whopping 65 points, while Big Diesel III had solid showings from Mr. Discount-Double-Check, the rookie Aiyuk from San Fran, and a solid kicking performance from Tampa Brady’s team by Ryan Succop added up to 98 points. The Diesel team improved to 6-4 while the Grider group takes its second loss of the year, falling to 8-2. Hey Nathan, it’s a Lonely View at the top…I would know, that’s the title of my first album. 😊Well I suppose that’s all she wrote (3rd pun) for this week! Thanks to Matt for having me write this, as its been a welcome distraction from the hellish world of 1st grade virtual learning this week, and I promise next time I won’t write so much! Now I’m off to enjoy the solitude of the remainder of the evening, with the promise of some FIFA 21 and my own personal stash of candy that remains hidden for obvious reasons. Adios!

Another one in the books! Every game is a must win from here on out and some actually did, others not so much. We are almost finished with the dreaded bye weeks, but there is no telling what ‘Rona has in store for us. Trade deadline is also creeping up so take a good look at your team and make some tough decisions. Week 14 is the end of the regular season, and as a reminder…. division winners are top two seeds, then the next two best records regardless of division. Tie breaker is “points for”. Other 6 teams (losers) will enter the Sacko Bowl Tournament of pain and anguish. The 4 highest rated teams will play week one with a chance to win and exit the Sacko Bowl. The worst 2 teams will be on bye week one. The losers of week one play the bye week teams in week 2, again, for the chance to exit the tourney with a W. Week 17, the two losers face off for the most coveted title since the “Mustard Yellow Belt”….. the SACKO TROPHY!!!

Grider at #1 is a +149 (“points for” added to “points against”) and is 8-1 while DFUN is only a +67 but somehow is 7-2. 4 teams at 5-4, Cats +174, Big D +32, DSVP +18 and TBIAC +54. Our bottom four (there is still time for some of you) are IamB at -84, New Tanner with -47, Pigg -125 and Biz -140. 965 by the Cats is still the high while Biz is on the opposite end with 624 (and a win over the Cats). New Tanner continues to lead in “points against” at 905, while the low is 791, again, the Cats. Soooooo, all these numbers prove, without a shadow of doubt…..nothing. Good weeks, bad weeks, luck, Shiva, injuries, byes, they are all there to test our FFL fortitude. But the FFL gods can be vengeful at times and lenient at others. They will do what they do and as FFLers we will continue on until someone is hoisting the Sacko.

Current projected Playoff seating….

Quick pictorial recap of this weeks games…..

Week 10 next. Good luck and Godspeed.

Well, it’s definitely 2020. The ‘Boys finally get rid of carrot-top then fall apart. They need some IamBetter style roster churning! DFUN has matched his 2017, 2018 and 2019 combined win total already with 6 W’s. New Tanner is still being punished by the FFL gods (which isn’t that different from the norm). Grider’s deal with Satan appears to be for more than half a season, which doesn’t bode well for the rest of us. Cats are hovering around .500. Unbelievable I know😂. They will need to start a hot streak if they want to make the Winners Bracket for the 24th year in a row. And just when you think things couldn’t get weirder, DSVP shows up to declare his last loss will be his last. Then proceeds to lose 3 in a row. Thank you Todd, we all need a little normalcy in these uncertain times and nothing says that better than your annual free-fall into the Sacko Bowl. You are appreciated.

TBIAC won a clunker 84-50. Terrible game.

Diesel slid past Pigg, who was out hunting the entire game. Mahomie tossed 36 and Gronk got another TD, but no one broke double digits. Rrrrraaaaaaawwwwdddddjjjjjjaaaaassss 21, DHenrt only rumbled for 17, Keenan Allen was healthy long enough to grab 12 and Succup kicked in 15. Bad news for BD, the 49ers are on their 7 RB and 4th QB. Sorry

Biz has set a new “This is Serious Business” league record. Bad news is it’s for the lowest point total in history. 25 points. Led by his QB and team captain, Wentz, threw for 7 points to lead the team. Bell and White both stumbled for 3 each. Elliot, kicker out scored the Den D by 1, by scoring 1. New Tanner finally got a gift wrapped W. Well deserved. Final 80-25

On the opposite side of the gift wrapped W was Grider v IamB. The loser would have beaten every other team in the league this week handily. But sometimes the FFL gods are cruel, as we all know. @aintReba got 23 from Adams, but Griders Metcalf caught 28. KC D scored 10, Philly (against the ‘Boys) 21. DDallas ran for 17 but Dalvin Cook exploded for 46. Great game for both, unfortunately for us all, Grider takes the victory 138-112.

And in the finale, two teams we are all used to seeing slap fighting it out in the Sacko Bowl, DFUN takes on DSVP. 81-71 the Commish takes his 6th win of the year, while DSVP falls for the 3rd game in a row. Brady 19, Gurley-man 10, Krupp 11 and Pitt Def 13 (over/under for this defense in week 9 versus the ‘Boys is set at 124. I’m betting over). Tyreek Hill (still not in jail somehow) 21, 15 from the Indy D and 15 from Kamara (shockingly not on IR yet) just wasn’t enough to beat a extremely mediocre DFUN squad. The next time these two teams meet the stakes will be much higher. Sacko Bowl Championship. Calling it now.

Sooooo, off to week 9, if we survive Election Day (week, month, year?). Grider and DFUN on top of the two divisions, Pigg and Biz on the bottom. There’s still time to make a move, trade a player, fire your GM (DSVP). Let’s go play some fake football!!!!

Editors side note- we apologize for this extremely DSVP centered blog post. We are all in the league together and all of our failures should be written about. But it’s sooooooo much fun to dog-pile Todd. It just is.

Week 5 is complete, after a double header MNF turned into a single with a ‘Rona cancellation and a TNF (Tuesday Night Football), which we can all expect to see more of this season. It’s 2020, ‘nuff said.

SF Def cost someone a W, while a last name mixup, Brown, did in another. A zero at RB made no difference at all while a coach’s decision gave one team a victory and another a heartbreaking loss. And finally, one team left his D on the bench, on purpose, to punk his opponent. Did it work? What did his opponent do? We will answer these questions shortly then take a look at the numbers so far in “This is Serious Business” Fantasy Football SPECTACULAR!! (Definitely oversold this, please lower your expectations)

Big Diesel started the weekend projected to win and got a huge game from the rookie Herbert 26, Diggs grabbed 10, Anderson 11 and DHenry had 17 with 2 TDS on Tuesday night. DFUN, continuing his epic journey of not losing every week, fired back at the Diesel with TB12 tossing 14 (Watson on bench with 24), Higbee 1, Kupp 6 and McCaffrey still on IR. But in some weird twist of FFL black magic Gurley-man 20, M Davis 20 (wtf is this guy, again) and Dhop 19. So it came down to the SF Def. Drum roll please……. -4. Diesel loses in FFL and in life (49ers fan), DFUN wins (still hard to write that), 103-97

TBIAC was favored to win versus the surprising DSVP. Hard fought game, lead changes, injuries, fights, and some crying (mostly Chief Dawg, but not all). This game had everything…except good head coaches. TBIAC had another great game from Russ, 23. Mixon fell back to earth, but not jail yet, so that’s something, 8 pts. Kareem Hunt, a very astute draft pick who took over for the injured Chubb 15. LAR D smashed the Washington football club for 17. Chiefs dawg had Uncle Rico under center, 19 big ones, none over that mountain though. Kamara, still not injured, 11. Carson and Taylor combined for 25 on the ground and Tyreek Hill, still not in jail, 14. This was going to be a close one ladies and gentlemen! Except TBIAC started John BROWN who was OUT, instead of AJ BROWN who played and scored 14. 99-101 DSVP takes home a tarnished win. And TBIAC takes home the “Good Call Coach” award for week 5. Congrats???

In the most booooooooring game of the week, IamBetter took on her arch nemesis Lil d Ceiling Cats. If IamBetter had put in N Hines and benched McKinnon, who scored ZERO, then the final score would have been 64-126 instead of 62-126. Thats all I got for this FFL abomination.

In the Yankee version of the “Ffffffaaaaaammmmmmiiiiiilllllyyyy Ffffffffeeeeuuuuudddd” our two Northern oppressors went head to head in a matchup (of slap-fighting) with massive consequences (basically who gets better seeding in the Sacko Tournament of Losers). Pigg came out as the obvious aggressor by leaving his Def empty. Biz countered by starting a Def that was on bye. Bold move! Pigg started Gronkowski despite having done nothing all year….5 points. Biz countered with his star TE Ertz, zero. Ceedee snagged 12, DJ Moore 15. Hilton caught 6, LeVeon ran for 6. Henderson 18, Sanders 21. Who is going to win this???? Pigg 94-79. Never got close. This war is over, for now.

In the heartbreaker of the week, New Tanner falls 98-104 to the hated Team Grider. A close game till the brutal end despite the horrific injury to New Tanner’s QB Dak Prescott. With a small lead for Steph and Grider playing both SEA WRs, it all came down to the Minnesota head coach Mike Zimmer. 4th and 1, go for it and ice the game, or fail and hand the ball over? Kick the field goal and go up 8 but Russ gets 1:30 ish to score? Zimmer went for it…and failed. Russ gets the ball and immediately begins throwing to Metcalf and Lockett, Griders dynamic duo. Pass after pass the lead shrinks and shrinks, as does the play clock. With seconds left, Russ fires one into the end zone for Lockett and the Seahawk and Grider win….dropped!! One last play. 4th down, have to get a TD. Russ drops backs, gets pressured, slides to his right and wobbles one out to the corner. Metcalf TD. Seattle wins. Grider wins. New Tanner does not win. Again.

So another tough week for us all, some more than others. IamBetter is still churning up the waiver wire, Biz still looking for that first win, Grider still looking to upgrade at the landscaper position and New Tanner looking for a new QB. DSVP is really someone this writer looks up to for how to act in these “end of days”. Despite having an FFL team doomed to be Sacko bound, he gets up everyday, looks into the mirror and says “I’m going to win today”. He won’t…..but I absolutely love the enthusiasm. Let’s take a page from DSVP’s book, just not his FFL play book. 😆

Let’s look at the numbers….

In the East, the Sacko Brothers are currently tied for first. Don’t ask me how, it’s 2020, roll with it! Cats and Big Diesel at 3-2, with Pigg 2 games out of first. In the Dumpster Fire Division, Grider at 4-1, TBIAC 3-2, New Tanner and IamBetter 1-4, with the Biz coming in winless.

Cats with the most points scored, 623 points, Biz with the least, 345. New Tanner definitely getting the shaft so far this year with 631 points against, while DSVP has the least points against with 456. That’s a 35 point average difference per week, hence 1-4 for Steph and 4-1 for Todd.

Some draft day, or waiver surprises so far… Gurley 8th in RB points (DFUN), James Robinson 9th (Cats), and Kareem Hunt 6th (TBIAC). QB surprises, Fitzmagic 7th (on waiver wire) J Allen 3rd (Cats) and TB12 at 8th (DFUN). WR- D Metcalf #1 (Grider), Lockett 9th (Grider) and #10 C Claypool (just picked up by the roster churnet IamBetter). TE overachievers- #2 J Smith (picked up, dropped, picked up again by IamB), R Tonyan 4th (just picked up by DFUN), and M Gesick 5th (TBIAC). Surprisingly missing from the top 10 was Z Ertz (Biz). We could cover Def and K, but they are usually week to week options. Colts #1 and the MIA Kicker J Sanders leading the league currently.

It’s a strange FFL season in a strange year. Records don’t tell the whole story and stats don’t tell the truth. Despite it all, W’s are what we fight for. Earned (Pigg) or stolen (DFUN), the victory is what we strive for. Put on a worthless mask, wash your hands and start doing the work to get that next W. It’s what we do…..