This is Serious Business FFL

One week left in the Regular season and the “W’s” are hard to come by and playoff seating is taking shape. Satan, aka Nizzle02 is in, Pigg and LGB are fighting for 2nd, VM and TBIAC are fighting to remain in the bracket. Diesel and Laces Out still have a chance but will need a lot of help. Cats are out, DFUN and AintReba still in a scramble for last place and the #1 seed in the Sacko Bowl. Sooooo, a lot going on, wheels are turning and the pressure is rising quickly. Who’s going to step up in these last two regular season games (history does not favor LO)? Who is going to choke away a chance at the promised land (again LO)? But this is why we play the games! Lets see what happened last week and what it sets up for week 14….

LGB, fighting for the 2nd seed, fending off Pigg, needed a big W and got an even bigger L. Nizzle02, already clinched, showed off his dominance by NOT playing a QB and still winning by 63. Pollard 22, DAdams 29 and a ridiculous 42 from the CLE Def (wtf?) was waaaaayyyy too much for the end-of-season- collapsing LGB. Edwards continued to be a sleeper agent, scoring only 1, Walker III got hurt, Higbee is a TE, which means he sucks, 1, and worst of all, he didn’t have the CLE Def. Nizz continues to roll while LGB will be looking to end his horrific losing streak (1 in a row).

In a battle of “no one cares” the Commish greeted the Cats late Sunday night with “Condolences on your loss” with a lead and rookie superstar Olave yet to play. The Cats only had a TE (we know what that means) and Deebo playing with a 9th string QB. Not looking good. But the CeilingCats don’t quit (unlike LGB’s squad) and went to work. Deebo stole 6 big point to put the Cats up 1 with the MNF game to go. Olave vs TE Hill. Olave caught 65 from the Red Rocket. Hill then caught 35. And passed for 21. And rushed for 10. If you’re doing math in public, I’ll help out…it’s tied. Then Hill scored. Ball game Cats! The team then lifted their coach onto their shoulders and carried him off the field victoriously! Or something like that…

In an absolute must win for both teams, only one showed up. 126-80, the team from the frozen North rolled. 30 from Joe Cool, Watson continued his heater with 21 and GWilson caught 16. The Capt was done as soon as Lamar went down with an injury and KingHenry stumbled for 3. Reeeeeaaaaallll hard to rally from that start. So Pigg should have a fairly relaxing week 14 while TBIAC will have a few sleepless nights trying to put his team back together in time to make the Winners Bracket.

Laces Out, trying to stop a late season slide hosted Hollywood Leading Man, Vina-Mites. Again, both need the win to have a chance. But, again, only one showed up to play. 133-90, LO’s streak continues. For the West Coast Wonder, Hurts 34, Saquon 14, St Brown snagged 23 and K Gould booted 12. LO watched Herbert fail again, Ekeler didn’t score a TD and Waddle pulled off a big fat zero. VM will go into the finale fighting for a seat at the table. LO will put the blindfold back on and set up next weeks roster.

Big Diesel, in a must win, gets the cellar dweller, AintReba in a fortuitous matchup. The Siren of Signal Calling hasn’t won a game in about three years. Almost sounds like a trap game. It was. AintReba tripled her weekly average by scoring 98 points behind DK’s 18, Samaji’s 15 and Gallup with 15. Diesel’s team came in overconfident and badly coached! Kittle struggled with the 9th string QB, Thielen is old, Cooper was Cooper and Mahomey was a mere mortal. Painful game to watch for us and even more painful for BD to watch his playoff hopes and dreams crushed by a team that has 4 empty spots on her roster, but for some reason has decided to keep Jamycal Hasty on the team. 🤔 but a win is a win, or for Diesel…..welcome to the Sacko Bowl!

Week 14 is upon us. The regular season is ending and playoff season is coming up quickly. As a refresher, the top 4 go to the Winners Bracket and play week 15 and 16. Nobody really cares because this league is alllll about the Sacko, the most beautiful trophy in all make believe sports competitions!! The seeding is different but amazing. 10 and 9 are the top seeds and will get a bye the first week (don’t worry, this is not an advantage). The other 4 will play week 15 with the 2 winners exiting the Loser tournament. The losers of week 15 will play 10 and 9 in week 16, with the winners again exiting. Leaving the two absolute worst teams to tickle fight for the Sacko Championship. Winner exits and the loser takes home the hardware (in AintReba’s case, just go home and dust it off for another off season).

Week 14 outlook- Nizz is #1. Pigg and LGB at 8-5 , VM and TBIAC 7-6. Pigg plays AintReba, so he should (?) go to 9-5. Diesel will look to spoil LGB’s dreams and put him at 8-6, or win and go to 9-5. In the big one, VM hosts TBIAC with the winner going 8-6 and the loser joining the rest of us in the bracket of shame! Then when the scores are over and the wins are tallied up, the Commish will have to go to the tie breaker rules…Points scored. Currently Pigg has 1406, LGB 1375, VM 1440 and TBIAC 1352. So these teams need to win and win BIG! 14 weeks all coming down to the last second and maybe even the last point! This is why we play the game….

Week 12 is over (to be truthful week 13 just finished, but we will save that for later). As previously written erroneously, the bye weeks were not over (fuck me) but are now (maybe?). 7 teams have a real chance at the 4 spots in Valhalla (plus the darkest horse team #8 Cats). Pigg is on a heater, LO is ice cold and LGB and TBIAC are holding strong, but not dominate. Scoring is tight for those teams looking at a tie situation soooo bring out your best. The Commish finally figured out the playoff bracket so we won’t be doing it on a napkin like last year (😁). Let’s get to week 12 in “This is Serious Business”…

As the picture shows…. Pigg 114 LO 94. In a near MUST win for both, Pigg steamrolled into the victory behind MSanders 28 and JJeff’s 20. The petite pugilist punched back with her tiny fists of fury behind Herbert’s 26 (finally) Locketts 12 and Ekeler’s 14. But, this week it wasn’t near enough. Our Northern Yankee team owner is making a furious run for his first Winners Bracket while LO is beginning her yearly losing streak, fighting her way back to the Sacko Bowl that she knows so well.

TBIAC 111 Big Diesel 100 in a well played game from two teams trying to reach the promised land. The Capt had Lamar run/pass for 21, Chubb rumble for 18 and KingHenry 11. BD had Mahomey tossed only 18, Pacheco (?) 14 and Thielin (?) 12. Special teams were huge again with Diesel getting 19 and 13 from the Niners and Sanders, but that just made the game closer, not close. Big win, painful loss.

AintReba loses a close one to her archnemesis LGB 86-83. Josh Allen 29 but Fournette 0. KC Def 19 but Lutz K 0 for the Nashville SuperStar. LGB countered with 14 from Dak, Walker III 15 and Tee Hig 17. Not sure how this dumpster fire of a game was soooo close and yet even more boring, but it was. We are all FFL dumber for having watched it.

130-76 Nizzle02 stays on a heater. 11 in a row if you’re counting at home. Yes, he did sell his soul to the Devil, and knowing Nizz, he came out on top of the deal. Kyler tossed 25 and Jacobs (mind blowing) 42. More than enough to defeat the CeilingKittens…..again.

112-74 Vina-Mites easily sends DFUN down to Davey Jones’ Locker (nautical humor). Hurts 29 DHop 14 and Amon St Brown 18 was just too much for DFUN’s 0.2 from Drake, 5.3 McLaurin and Raaaaaawwwwwdddddjjjjaaaaass 9.5. VM stays in contention for the winners Bracket, the Commish stays in contention for the Sacko, as usual.

Week 12 is over, there is 2 games difference between 6 teams all trying to win. Last place looks like an even more fierce battle between DFUN and AintReba. Neither looks like they are giving this loss up without a fight (?) or win (?) They both suck (!) Either way, these next few weeks will be stressful and painful and exhilarating. It’s all we can ask for to have such a competitive group body slamming each other every week. Great job, keep it up and let’s go FFL’ing…

Time is running out quickly on this season. The Commish is flailing away at Commish-ing as much as FFL-ing. Nizzle02 apparently sold his soul (if he even has one) to the Devil for Wins. LGB, already sold his soul, is hot on his heals. LO is still not in last, mainly because AintReba has it locked up. Vina-Mites is relaxing on his California King mattress sipping on some Rose. Pigg is making a run for the playoffs, for the first time since the league began. TBIAC is back to fantasy relevance after a few down seasons. Big Diesel is flying along at 6-5 and feeling good, while the Cats are just sad, so sad. On to the recap…

CeilingCats 129 LGB 102

TBIAC 78 AintReba 59

Big Diesle 124 LO 115

Pigg 103 DFUN 93

Nizzle02 104 Vina-Mites 87

Sooooo, off to week 12. Everyone needs wins, time is running out. Make some moves, get healthy and be glad the bye weeks are over. Good luck to all, let’s play some FFL Football!

Week 10 is over and we are one game closer to Playoff season, or Sacko Bowl for 6 unfortunate teams. Injuries and bye weeks are still big players on everyone’s roster, and the waiver wire is reeeeaaallll thin. This week we will take a quick look at the overall numbers so far and see who’s good, bad, lucky and who drew the wrath of the FFL gods this season (hint…. Meow). Let’s get to the week 10 recap!

Kupp gave Nizz the W, but left the game on IR. Jacobs, surprisingly, still hasn’t disappeared, ran for 15. Carr was Carr, 14 and DAdams 12. Pigg just didn’t have much this week. 14 from Cousins, JJeff 11 and no one else in double digits. Nizzle02’s luck remains intact another week.

Welllll, not really. BD 95-89 victory over DFUN. Mahomie blew up with 25, and Kamara 13. The rest of the team just sat on the sideline and watched DFUN try to break 90 points. JTaylor finally ran the ball, 13, CeeDee only 9, Foreman 11 and Kelce, as always, 14. Before the special teams entered the game the score was 80-80. But then the special teams entered the game and Big Diesel kicked and tackled 14, while the Commish stumbled and missed with only 8. Ball game!

In a case of good game, wrong week, the Cats went down to the West Coast Wonder 106-96. The Goat tossed 18, Etienne 16, Williams 11 and in Deebo’s return, 10. DAL Def got run over, literally, by GB and only scored 2. VM got 21 from Hurts, 17 from Saquon, 14 tough ones for Dalvin and Damien Pierce rumbled for 14. Add 14 from the special teams and it adds up to another W for the Hollywood Superstar, and another, unlucky, loss for the kittens…

In the best game of the week, LGB went to Greenville Ave to slap fight TBIAC. These two really went at it with their open hands flailing about wildly! Fields ran, occasionally threw, for 20. JimmyG 17. CMC 18, Chubb 14. Walker III and Diggs combined for 25 while the Capt countered with 28 for King Henry and ABrown. This looks like it’s going to be a close one! A Pearce, whoever that is, only caught 5 and Pitts snagged 6. GDavis 8 and Schultz found 5. At flex, Allgeir 5 vs Cooks 6. 82-81. Now it’s time for our favorite part…Special Teams!! LGB put Maher and BUF against York and NO. 8 to 8 at K, 5.93 to 7.74 at Def. Final score LGB 96.5, TBIAC…….. 97 and the W! A half point slap in the face!

In our second Cat fight of the year, LO faced off with AintReba for the title! As expected, these two tiny pugilists came out firing on all cylinders, throwing haymakers and pulling hair! Herbert continued to disappoint LO with 14 while JAllen had a bad game for Reba with only 21. Ekeler 15, Patterson, in the lineup this week, 8 and Tyreek 13. The artist known as Denton’s Red Dirt Diva had Lenny stumble around for 10, DK 8 and DHenderson (can’t believe his guy is even on a team) had a career high with 9. 11 and 14 for the K & Def finished this game up just as it began…..boring. LO rides high (as high as she can) and adds the title of 2022 Queen of the Gridiron to her multiple Sacko Trophy’s! AintReba was last seen staring at her extensive art collection, and wondering where it all went wrong (draft, research, roster churning….)😘

And now, let’s do some Math-lete stuff! No big surprise, Nizzle02 is on top at 9-1 followed by LGB 7-3, LO 6-4 (???), VM TBIAC BD and Pigg all at 5-5. Cats and DFUN 3-7 (WTF is going on this season???) And, as always, AintReba in the gutter, where LO left her last week, 2-8 (who did she beat?). But does wins and losses tell us the whole story? Yes but no. Wins are all that matter, but the FFL Gods are fickle. Some times the off season tributes or indiscretions can come back to you in the season. Nizzle02 clearly burned incense and prayed to Shiva, showered her with gifts and baby elephants. The Cats lost their way, forgetting that FFL is a spiritual endeavor, and mock drafts and FantasyPros can only go so far. Which leads us to POINTS, for and against. Nizzle02 1189.44 at the top, LGB 1130.4, VM 1109.42, LO 1105.4, TBIAC 1080.04, BD 1059.72, Pigg 1048.94, Cats 1046.86, DFUN 933.42 and AintReba 28. Just kidding 902. 04. From the highest scorer to the lowest, a difference of 287.36 points over 10 games is 28.736 points more every week on average for Nizz than AintReba. WOW… Now points against. Cats leading with 1224.4 while Pigg has the low with 956.96. That is a 267.44 difference or 26.7 points a game. WOW… in the case of Pigg and the CeilingCats that difference shows in a 5-5 record vs a 3-7 record. Nizzle02, with the most points scored is 7th in points against. Must be fucking nice! DFUN comes in 2nd in points against (and a 3-7 record) while LO has the second least scored against her (probably because she plays Reba every week🥳) but explains her winning record. Most of our fellow teams fall in the middle of both groups and the record shows it. No real mystery solved here but proof that Shiva can smile on some and stomp on others. That’s it for this week, enjoy the freezing temps (except Vita-Mite’s who is at the beach adding up his State income tax bill) and let’s get ready for week 11 in “This is Serious Bizness”. I’m going to run down to the store and see if there is any incense or bright shiny things left…

Short recap this week, longest title ever. If your looking to waste 3 hours of your life go watch “Wakanda Forever”, if you’ve only got 3 minutes…. Continue reading.

Pigg 144-Cats 98

DFUN 80- AintReba 61

Nizzle02 106- Big Diesel 86

LO 142- TBIAC 63

LGB 115- VinaMites 91

Another week, more losses, more wins, more bye weeks, more injuries. Keep fighting and maybe this year you’ll get a parade like the WNBA CHAMPS!!

Another week of wins and losses, injuries and waiver wire pick ups., winning streaks (Nizzle02) and losing streaks (LO). Our first trade of the year went down with the Cats sending two RBs to LGB for a broken Deebo Samuels. The Cats have a baby Deebo at home so it was completely worth it! Bye weeks are brutal, keep filling out that lineup and let’s get into week 8 in “This is Serious Business”

TBIAC took on the Commish in a do or die/ must win battle for…. nothing. The Capt is rolling and DFUN is just prepping for the Sacko Bowl. 148-104, TBIAC takes the W. A great game for DFUN with over a hundred points but he ran into an absolute steamroller. Lamar 21, Chubb 24, King Henry 34, ABrown 33 and 17 from the TEN D was just waaaay to much to overcome. For DFUN, the Red Rocket tossed 17, 12 from Drake, JTaylor continued to be one of the worst number 1 picks of all time, 5, Aiyuk ( in Deebo’s absence) 14, and Foreman with a huuuge 31. This one was all about a good game on a bad week, or another way to put it is, just another crushing loss for the Commish

After a scorching hot start, LO has started her yearly slide into the bowels of FFL hell. LGB exploded with 139 points from Dak 25, CMC 32, Diggs 16 and finally something from Pitts, 14, along with the great Justin Tucker kicking in 17. LO fought back, feebly, with Danny Dimes dropping 9 at QB, 19 from Tyreek, and 22 from Waddle. 10 points from Bass at K and 9 from NE D totaled 98 and a third straight loss for the tiny baller!

In another must win/ do or die game, the Lewisville trash transplant Big Diesel came to Cats stadium in lil D and walked out with a W, 129-96. Cousins wasn’t on prime time TV so he went off for 23, Coop 17, and Kamara FINALLY showed up with 33. The Cats countered with 17, as usual, from TB12, 22 by Etienne, 14 from Stevens and a big fat ZERO from George Pickens. Cats needed that win to continue their delusion of making the winners bracket, while BD kept himself in the race to the top.

The West Coast Vina Mites travelled all the way to the frosty land of Team Pigg in a showdown of playoff wannabe’s. Pigg apparently thought that he was on a bye week and only suited up his “b” team. Burrow 13, Mixon 5, JJeff 9 and Sanders 13. TB D 3 and McPherson 1. VM, having traveled so far in an electric car towing a trailer full of FFL players, stopping to charge the battery every 37 miles, was angry and ready to rumble. Hurts 28, Saquon 12, Dalvin 20 and DHop, finally healthy and off suspension, 21. Not much of a game 119-63, but still a victory for VM. Let’s all pray he can make the return trip to LaLa Land before week 9 starts!

And in the Monday Night FFL Game of the week, Nizzle02 snagged another easy win over the tiny troubadour AintReba, 106-86. Kyler did his homework and it payed off with 24, JJacobs finally returned to normal and stumbled for 5 but AJones rumbled for 15, Kupp only 14 and the steal of the week, Tony Pollard went off for 32. AintReba countered, badly, with JAllen 17, LennyF 11, 21 from DJ Moore, Philly D 16 and nothing from the rest of her roster churned team. This intrepid writer is not a math wiz, but I believe Nizzle02’s team of highly paid FFL ninjas may make the playoffs.

Soooo, week 8 is in the books, week 9 is the next chance to improve your team, your roster and your self worth….or not. Bye weeks are still plaguing us all and the injuries keep mounting. Keep your head up, make some good moves, and pray to the FFL god Shiva to save your season. I know I am.

It was a tough week for some (Cats) glorious for some (Pigg, Laces Out, TBIAC) and a recurring nightmare for others (DFUN, AintReba). It’s still early so a reemergence can happen, injuries will come into play and the waiver wire will be important. But, early on, Laces Out and Pigg are dominating at 2-0 with 244 and 238 points scored. On the bottom is 0-2 DFUN and Cats at 151 and 161. The rest are ready to pounce into the upper echelon if any team falters. Week 2 rap-up begins….

In the first faaaammmmmiiillly fffffuueed of the season Pigg takes on the Commish. 116-54. Pigg reaches 2 wins for the first time in league history (not accurate). DFUN falls to 0-2 for the 28th season in a row (not true). Burrow and Rrrraawwddgggeeerrs were close 14-16. Nixon and Akers were close 8-6. Sanders and Taylor 8-6. J Jefferson 4 Ceedee 8. Shultz 0 Kelce 5. What went wrong for DFUN? A lil something called K and DEF. This is becoming a thing if you haven’t noticed. McPherson 13, and Dfun’s Gay 7 at K. TB Def 34 ( 34 freaking points) and the Commish’s D, MIA….. -4. 38 point swing on the DEF alone. Are the DEF numbers artificially inflated,?you’ll have to ask the Commish and no one else, especially not the Cats who had nothing to do with scoring changes. NOTHING (not accurate).

Laces Out v Big Diesel 138-93. Laces Out is on fire! Herbert 23, Tyreek 31, Waddle 29 ( in an absolutely insane game, too bad she didn’t have Tua too) Bass at K with 12 and 13 from her D, NE. The California Kid countered with 17 from Mahomie, 4 from the soon to be cut Zeke, 10 from UNT’s own Jeff Wilson, 1 from apparent bust JuJu and 11 from CEH (about time he did something). K Succop 10 and another monster Defensive effort from the 9’ers 22. But when Laces Out gets 60 from her teammate Wr’s, your in for a long week.

Yes, it happened. We aren’t even going to act like no one noticed “the shot heard around the world”! In a “Rudy” like underdog story, a real rags to riches fable, a Cinderella story if you will. The FFL story we’ve all been buzzing about….. Cats win again. Or was it LO lost again? Nobody was surprised Vina Mites lost or Nizzle02 won. Ooooohhh yeah, I see it now….DFUN WINS DFUN WINS DFUN WINS!!! The epic losing streak is over at 274 straight losses. Fireworks ensued, tears were shed and somewhere far far away, a little angel got it’s wings.

Week 7 is over, week 8 is coming quickly. More of the same…injuries, waiver pickups, terrible TE’s and the dreaded bye weeks. Rumor has it that there may be a trade going down (doubt it). Sit back, relax and enjoy a quick (it’s Sunday night and I’m half in the bag) recap of “This is Serious Business”.

Yup, it happened. And it happened to LO, who had gotten real comfortable sitting on her high horse near the top of the standings (her feet still didn’t touch the floor). But in FFL there is no given, no easy W. As it has been all season, K and Def made an impact. LO’s totaled 5, DFUN’s 31pts. Herbert beat Raaaaaawwwwdddggggeeeerrrrss by 2, Ekeler outscored Drake by 23. On the flip side Foreman was up 6 on Waddle, the rest was a wash. Offensive players were 72-63 in Laces Out’s favor. But it’s a team game and this week it payed off for the Commish and his first win of the campaign, 94-77.

102-86. Nizzle02 remains on fire while TBIAC continues searching for consistency. The Capt got 2 zero’s and a 4 from London, Andrews (hurt) and Cooks. Nizz is still riding his stallion Jacobs (bound to be injured soon), 33 and Jones 19. 31 from the TEN Def was wasted by TBIAC, while Nizzle02 had a respectable 19 from his special teams. These two teams have been fighting for the title of “King/Queen of Oaklawn” for years. Grider has always been the peoples champ (of the Oaklawn crowd) but TBIAC isn’t just going to lie down and take this like a man! This could be a rematch to look forward to!

The lil d Ceiling Cats snuck into the Grand Ol Opry, navigated the tunnels and paths, avoided the security and the lost hopes and dreams, and snuck into the basement dwelling of AintReba. Before the diminutive diva could move, the Cats were all over her. The Dallas Def was really looking for revenge, having been dropped by red dirt artist a few weeks ago. 131-77. What’s that joke about playing a country song backwards? Get your dog back, your truck back……. but not the W.

Brother on brother violence like this has not been since the Civil War or maybe backstage at a Jonas Brothers concert (ask Nizzle02 about that). The two West Coasters met up and one came out swinging…and didn’t stop till it was alllllll over. Big Diesel 104 over Vina-Mites 70. Mahomie 26, Zeke 17, wasn’t worthless for a change, JuJu 18, wasn’t worthless for a change and Kittle back to his norm, 15. For VM, Amon St Brown 0, Schultz 4, Goodwin 4. In a rare occurrence, BD’s special teams combined for a -1 but was still enough for a W.

And here we go. When we changed platforms (forced by the Commish) we knew there would be some changes, some issues, some problems. The tenths of points were one of them. But really, how many time will it matter? And seriously, a half point is 5 yards rushing or receiving. It will literally never matter. And then it did. Pigg was watching Monday Night Football, staring intently at his phone and the tv. His arch rival, LGB sat at 90.38 pts. Pigg had one player left, David Montgomery, RB for da Bears. He had 62 yards and a TD and now the team was running out the clock. Pigg was down by .24 of a point. One hand off, 1 yard, run out the clock, game over and FFL W in the bag. All that was left was the snap, the handoff, the carry, times runs out, game over. Exactly as planned! Except it was the Bears 3rd string RB, don’t know his name, no one knows his name. His coach said “Hey you, running guy, go run” or something like that. He got the carry. FFL loss… by .25 points. LGB steals the election, ummm, I mean game!

Week 8 coming soon, always remember to bookmark mattstinypenis.com on all your and your families devices!!

Week 6 was a big week here in “this is serious business”! Big dawgs went down, lil kittens roared and the Commish continued on the path to 0-16. Bye weeks are here and have to be navigated. Scores will generally drop from here on due to attrition, injury and playing your second QB, if you have one. Keep your head up, and sleep well knowing Nizzle02 wasn’t talking about you….or was he?

Pigg welcomed the CaliTexan Diesel to the bitter North for a showdown of mid level teams. Both need a win, but only one will walk off the frozen tundra with a victory, unless it’s a tie, then neither will/won’t. Let’s hope it’s not a tie! Mahomie versus Geno…19-12. CEH v Mixon… 3-12. Coop and JJeff tied, Kamara and Pittman tied, almost. Kittle bested Everett by 6, but MVS caught zero while Kirk nabbed 6. This is gonna be a close one fantasy football fans!! Down to the special teams as we have seen so many times this year. SF Def 6, TB Def 6. Holy Cow!!! It’s time for the K to shine! Diesels foot soldier Succop booted 14 while Piggs only got 8. It’s all over!! Or is it? We have one more score from the RB position. UNT’s own JWilsonJr ran for 0.5 while Montgomery stumbled for 8. Now it’s all over! Pigg wins 81-74. What a rollercoaster ride (unless you happened to look at the weekly scores anytime before now).

In a game closer than anyone thought, DFUN still went down 117-62 at the hands of LGB. Gordon and White ran for a combined 2, 11 at WR which actually equaled what Kelce did by himself, and 2 at flex. You’re not winning many games with that stat line… and DFUN didn’t. CMC 15 and Diggs 20, Gesicki (with one of his 4 good games this year) 18 and suddenly relevant RB Walker III 17. Big game for LGB. Pobably could have rested some guys this week… just sayin

AintReba and some surfer guy in board shorts and a Mission style burrito went head to head on the west coast for the chance to be mediocre. QB throw down put JAllen against JHurts…26-16. Benjamin and Big Len combined for 22 at RB countered by Saquon and Dalvin 29. WR Metcalf and Devonta 13 vs Godwin and Big Mike W 10. Both TE’s were terrible (if you don’t have Kelce or Andrew’s this is your weekly curse). Flex went to AintReba’s Henderson with 11 versus Sutton 1. 17-12 at special team wrapped up the unlikely W for the tiny Texan! Side note- I bet he puts shrimp in his burrito…

In what would have been the game of the week….4 years ago, the Ceiling Cats went south to the Big D to take on their hated rival and good friend TBIAC. 144-88 Cats start their winning streak! Waiver wire and late round picks (Stevenson 21, Hall 18 and K Butker 19) joined up with superstar Chase 25 to seal the deal! Chubb and Dobbins sunk the Captains ship early with only 8 between them and zero from the K. Is this the start of a sea change? Or just an off week for TBIAC and the Cats? We have 10 more weeks to find out!

Nizz v LO for the top spot in the league. Two absolute powerhouses squaring off, both looking to make a statement! That statement was “meh“ 85-73 Nizz gets another cheap win. Kyler continued to be a disappointment while Herbert was even worse. AJones and JRob couldn’t break double digits added together. Ekeler was good but Huntley wasn’t. Kupp was a normal human being this week only scoring 9 while Tyreek exploded for 17 for LO. The difference was the flex position. Laces Out got 1 from Locket while Nizzle02 snagged 18 from some dude named D Jackson. Pretty sad day for both teams, but a W is a W. Nizzle02 all alone on top of the leaderboard.

Week 6 is in the books! More injuries, more bye weeks and one monster trade went down (CMC to the Niners). On the FFL level we are still waiting on the first trade of the year. Soooo, say your prayers, take your vitamins and get ready for week 7! It’s gonna be a fun one!

Week 5 started with Nizz, TBIAC and Laces Out on top. VM, Diesel and Pigg in the middle and the rest of the teams just suck and shouldn’t be mentioned here. So as the good teams (not DFUN) fight and claw for playoff positioning, the middle teams competing for a spot in the post season and the rest were planning where to put their new Sacko trophy and accompanying art work (see below). Week 5 looked like a good week for a scrap! Lets see who was ready for one and who got sucker punched!

Nizz v DFUN. After the shellacking last week by the Cats, DFUN’s head coach had a closed door meeting. Shouting was heard, then loud crashing noises and finally soft, infant like crying. Nizzle02 was not available to be interviewed but we can assume his assistant coaches were in contact with the NFL, FantasyPros, NASA and anyone else that could keep them at the top of the standings. Sooooooo, it almost feels like a trap game. One team relaxed and over confident (hopefully), the other angry, hungry, and…. terrible at FFL. Sucker Punch or Scrap….. Neither. Ass-Whooping. Nizz 121-69. The Commish goes to 0-5 behind his combined 3 pts at RB (Akers 3 and Taylor 0 because he was OUT again with an injury). Nizz got 24 from Adams and only 18 from Kupp which was more than enough to get the easy W.

In a big, big battle we move to the Highland Park area where TBIAC hosted the West Coast V Mites. The Capt has been looking to reclaim the top spot for years while VM walked into Texas and started screwing things up for everyone else there (Cali joke). Hurts 27, Saquon 16 and Dalvin Cook 24 for the Mites. TBIAC countered with 25 from Chubb, 25 by King Henry and 14 caught by Andrews. Looks like another contest coming down to K and Def! Joseph kicked 3, Elliot 0. Okay, that was pathetic, so maybe it’ll come down to Def. Philly 4 and the mighty Jax Jags…..11 and the victory. Definitely a scrap!

AintReba took on Team Pigg in the usual “No One Cares” Bowl, but this time it’s different! Pigg is right in the hunt for the Playoffs and AintReba is, hmmmm, terrible, as usual. The final score was exactly what the Vegas sports books thought when they put the over/under at 12 points.😂. But the Country Crooner came for a fight! Josh Allen 35, Fournette 25 and Metcalf 12. (We won’t mention 1 from Harris, Waller with 0 and Gibson 3). Pigg forgot to tell his team that they had a game this week and it showed. Joe Cool 17 and JJfferson 18 and nothing else. Pigg was so bad this week that AintReba’s Def got a -2 and she still took home the victory! Next week Pigg will look to right the ship and Reba will go for her first win streak… ever. Sucker Punch for sure

In the Battle for Lil d, the Cats, fresh off a huge slump busting win over DFUN, hosted LO at “Tidy Cats” Stadium and Grooming Center. Ekeler started and almost ended the week with 173 yards rushing and a pair of TDS (31 points). Then Lockett dog piled the poor Cats with 2TDs and a 100 yards receiving. The final nail in the kitten’s coffin was the Dallas Def running over the Rams for 25 points. Dallas was on the Cats team, on the bench, watching another loss. Not a scrap, bit could have been with better coaching. LO remains on top of the FFL hill for another week.

In the Sunday Night game we had a battle for the Top Gun! These two Aviator extraordinaire’s went head to head and ego to ego in this dogfight! LGB started off the night with Carr being mediocre as usual, CMC and Diggs good, as usual. Tucker 16 and BUF Def, 14, as usual. Unfortunately for LGB, the usual also happened for Gesicki 3, Dillon 3 and Higgins 0 (not really usual, but I needed a third name). 96 points. Big Diesel countered with 30 from Mahomie, 13 by Coop and UNT’s own JWilsonJr rumbled for 19. Kamara finally showed up, going for 100 yds rushing and 90 receiving for 17 points. Diesel’s beloved SF Def got missile lock on LGB and sent him spiraling to a fiery, horrible, crushing defeat with 22 pts. Final 126-96. I’d call it a scrap, just not a good one😅

Another week in the books. The hated and feared bye weeks are among us as are the mounting injuries. Some pre season picks aren’t panning out (most of Cats players) and some unknowns are getting known quickly. We are a third of the way through the FFL marathon so stay hydrated, be ready to zig and/or zag and if anyone wants Zeke, Diesel would like to talk to you!!