Soooo Week 7 is over and we are seeing who is setting up to be the most useless. AintReba’s dream season continues, TBIAC is close on her tiny little boot heels and the rest are flailing away week by week searching for continuity, or good decisions, or healthy players or just for the FFL Gods to be kind. Lots of fake foosball to be played. Let’s get to this weeks recap of This Is Serious Business!!
In the early game this week, the FFL Gods were watching, and judging, and conniving and just plain mean, at least to the Cats. 118-85. Stroud was horrible, Diontae was worse and the Jets D, the most useless. Big Diesel clearly sacrificed a rotisserie chicken, or something, to appease the Gods and they returned the favor with 26 from Breece and Mixon and 18 from Tee. This game was over before it even started. On to the next game (after running by Murder Rat Kroger for some of that special chicken).
In the battle for Oaklawn, two heated enemies faced off at Enron Memorial Stadium, just down the street from Jerry’s compound, and Hunkys. Not sure why that was the geographical reference point Nizz used as directions, or why he knows it so well… But back to football of the imaginary type. TBIAC fought through terrible QB play with 32 from Gibbs, 26 by Saquon, and Bowers (maybe the TE1) 19. Nizz, with his 4th head coach of the season started off hot with Kyren rumbling for 19 and Pitts shocking us all with 13. Tucker, the Great One, kicked in 13 and Phi D went off with 22. The rest of the team didnt respond to the new coaching staffs pregame pep rally. Harrison Jr 5, Tank 0, Mostert (most experts #1 waiver wire pickup this week) 3. 124-102, Nizz goes down like his Head Coach’s chance of a new contract. The Capt rolls on. Oaklawn is his playground now!
In the Sunday Night game, the little FFL team that could, did…again. 3 in a row. As we learned last week, that’s called a winning streak! Team Pigg hosted the diminutive brawlers to his home field, frozen and devoid of fans. And lost. 147-129. Pigg played a great game, but the FFL gods are fickle. 21 from Allen, 16 by Najee and Coop caught 16. Godwin (RIP)13 before the end of his season happened. 17 kicked by Seibert and a monster 26 from the Denver D. But, as we all know by now, it wasn’t enough to stop the miniature footballer. 22, 26, 19, 18, 14, 17, 15, 9, and 4. Solid game by both, but there is only one winner and it wasn’t Pigg.
In a game that all (Screamin A Smith, Bayless and George Dunham) agreed was the trap game of the week, the Commish rolled into the Broken Spoke (not much of a stadium, more of a honky tonk) to face off with the undefeated, top scoring, loudest smack talker in TISB, AintReba. DFUN came out swinging, taking an early lead. Jacobs 20, Njoku 23 and Amon 25. AintReba countered with 0 from DSmith, 2 from Koo and only 9 from JCook. Monday Night came along and the experts looked like experts… DFUN was up 45. Reba only had two players left. But their names were DHenry and Lamar. So the audience watched, silent, worried, excited. There was talk of saving the game tickets to hand down to their grandchildren. Selfies were taken, tears were shed. This was the week! The curse was going to be lifted, and by the least imaginable team in the league. DFUN began to celebrate. Too early. Lamar was everywhere all at once, running and kind of throwing the ball. The win % went from 72-68. DHenry was bottled up, struggling to get past a stacked box. Lamar tossed another TD and the % dropped again. There was hope in the stadium that night. Halftime came and DHenry had 8 points. Then it got real, like the nightmare Felix has had every night since. DHenry breaks a long run, Lamar keeps passing TDs. Then the King does it again, and Lamar does it again. And then again. Jackson ended the night with 5 TDs and 34 points, DHenry 169 yds and a touchdown for 25. Commish falls by 15, 124-139. No lead is safe in TISB. And no one is safe from the terror we call AintReba.
What Felix see’s in his FFL nightmares….
Another week of FFL, another week of winning and losing. Most of the Niners are broken, the ‘Boys are terrible and it’s still 90 freaking degrees in late October. Sooooo, it’s only upward from here, hopefully. New week, new chance of not becoming the most useless. You know we are looking at you…
This is Serious Business FFL 