Month: October 2020

Week 5 or “The numbers never lie…except when they do”

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

Week 5 is complete, after a double header MNF turned into a single with a ‘Rona cancellation and a TNF (Tuesday Night Football), which we can all expect to see more of this season. It’s 2020, ‘nuff said.

SF Def cost someone a W, while a last name mixup, Brown, did in another. A zero at RB made no difference at all while a coach’s decision gave one team a victory and another a heartbreaking loss. And finally, one team left his D on the bench, on purpose, to punk his opponent. Did it work? What did his opponent do? We will answer these questions shortly then take a look at the numbers so far in “This is Serious Business” Fantasy Football SPECTACULAR!! (Definitely oversold this, please lower your expectations)

Throwback from season 8, when DFUN was 4-0. Can you guess how that season ended?

Big Diesel started the weekend projected to win and got a huge game from the rookie Herbert 26, Diggs grabbed 10, Anderson 11 and DHenry had 17 with 2 TDS on Tuesday night. DFUN, continuing his epic journey of not losing every week, fired back at the Diesel with TB12 tossing 14 (Watson on bench with 24), Higbee 1, Kupp 6 and McCaffrey still on IR. But in some weird twist of FFL black magic Gurley-man 20, M Davis 20 (wtf is this guy, again) and Dhop 19. So it came down to the SF Def. Drum roll please……. -4. Diesel loses in FFL and in life (49ers fan), DFUN wins (still hard to write that), 103-97

TBIAC was favored to win versus the surprising DSVP. Hard fought game, lead changes, injuries, fights, and some crying (mostly Chief Dawg, but not all). This game had everything…except good head coaches. TBIAC had another great game from Russ, 23. Mixon fell back to earth, but not jail yet, so that’s something, 8 pts. Kareem Hunt, a very astute draft pick who took over for the injured Chubb 15. LAR D smashed the Washington football club for 17. Chiefs dawg had Uncle Rico under center, 19 big ones, none over that mountain though. Kamara, still not injured, 11. Carson and Taylor combined for 25 on the ground and Tyreek Hill, still not in jail, 14. This was going to be a close one ladies and gentlemen! Except TBIAC started John BROWN who was OUT, instead of AJ BROWN who played and scored 14. 99-101 DSVP takes home a tarnished win. And TBIAC takes home the “Good Call Coach” award for week 5. Congrats???

In the most booooooooring game of the week, IamBetter took on her arch nemesis Lil d Ceiling Cats. If IamBetter had put in N Hines and benched McKinnon, who scored ZERO, then the final score would have been 64-126 instead of 62-126. Thats all I got for this FFL abomination.

In the Yankee version of the “Ffffffaaaaaammmmmmiiiiiilllllyyyy Ffffffffeeeeuuuuudddd” our two Northern oppressors went head to head in a matchup (of slap-fighting) with massive consequences (basically who gets better seeding in the Sacko Tournament of Losers). Pigg came out as the obvious aggressor by leaving his Def empty. Biz countered by starting a Def that was on bye. Bold move! Pigg started Gronkowski despite having done nothing all year….5 points. Biz countered with his star TE Ertz, zero. Ceedee snagged 12, DJ Moore 15. Hilton caught 6, LeVeon ran for 6. Henderson 18, Sanders 21. Who is going to win this???? Pigg 94-79. Never got close. This war is over, for now.

In the heartbreaker of the week, New Tanner falls 98-104 to the hated Team Grider. A close game till the brutal end despite the horrific injury to New Tanner’s QB Dak Prescott. With a small lead for Steph and Grider playing both SEA WRs, it all came down to the Minnesota head coach Mike Zimmer. 4th and 1, go for it and ice the game, or fail and hand the ball over? Kick the field goal and go up 8 but Russ gets 1:30 ish to score? Zimmer went for it…and failed. Russ gets the ball and immediately begins throwing to Metcalf and Lockett, Griders dynamic duo. Pass after pass the lead shrinks and shrinks, as does the play clock. With seconds left, Russ fires one into the end zone for Lockett and the Seahawk and Grider win….dropped!! One last play. 4th down, have to get a TD. Russ drops backs, gets pressured, slides to his right and wobbles one out to the corner. Metcalf TD. Seattle wins. Grider wins. New Tanner does not win. Again.

So another tough week for us all, some more than others. IamBetter is still churning up the waiver wire, Biz still looking for that first win, Grider still looking to upgrade at the landscaper position and New Tanner looking for a new QB. DSVP is really someone this writer looks up to for how to act in these “end of days”. Despite having an FFL team doomed to be Sacko bound, he gets up everyday, looks into the mirror and says “I’m going to win today”. He won’t…..but I absolutely love the enthusiasm. Let’s take a page from DSVP’s book, just not his FFL play book. 😆

Let’s look at the numbers….

In the East, the Sacko Brothers are currently tied for first. Don’t ask me how, it’s 2020, roll with it! Cats and Big Diesel at 3-2, with Pigg 2 games out of first. In the Dumpster Fire Division, Grider at 4-1, TBIAC 3-2, New Tanner and IamBetter 1-4, with the Biz coming in winless.

Cats with the most points scored, 623 points, Biz with the least, 345. New Tanner definitely getting the shaft so far this year with 631 points against, while DSVP has the least points against with 456. That’s a 35 point average difference per week, hence 1-4 for Steph and 4-1 for Todd.

Some draft day, or waiver surprises so far… Gurley 8th in RB points (DFUN), James Robinson 9th (Cats), and Kareem Hunt 6th (TBIAC). QB surprises, Fitzmagic 7th (on waiver wire) J Allen 3rd (Cats) and TB12 at 8th (DFUN). WR- D Metcalf #1 (Grider), Lockett 9th (Grider) and #10 C Claypool (just picked up by the roster churnet IamBetter). TE overachievers- #2 J Smith (picked up, dropped, picked up again by IamB), R Tonyan 4th (just picked up by DFUN), and M Gesick 5th (TBIAC). Surprisingly missing from the top 10 was Z Ertz (Biz). We could cover Def and K, but they are usually week to week options. Colts #1 and the MIA Kicker J Sanders leading the league currently.

It’s a strange FFL season in a strange year. Records don’t tell the whole story and stats don’t tell the truth. Despite it all, W’s are what we fight for. Earned (Pigg) or stolen (DFUN), the victory is what we strive for. Put on a worthless mask, wash your hands and start doing the work to get that next W. It’s what we do…..

Week 4 or “Wait a minute, is this my team? I’ve got four kickers and no quarterbacks. It looks worse than Aaron Hernandez’s alibi”- Ruxin (might have been IamBetter)

lildceilingcatsLeave a comment

Another week, some losses, some wins, some ‘Rona. It’s 2020. Improvise, adapt, overcome😘. We as a league have decided to just roll with the punches that the pandemic has thrust upon us. Keep an eye on waivers, keep an eye on the news and set your lineups. And pray. It’s 2020.

As our title hinted at (actually said it), IamBetter wrestled away a loss from the jaws of victory. 95-83 as DSVP gains another gutless W. Joe Burrow made his FFL debut for the newbie, who has been furiously churning her roster since day 2 (she bought into an auto-drafted team), and he tossed 15. McKinnon, waiver wire, 15. Amari Cooper, drafted, 21. MVS, waiver wire, 4. Tyler Boyd, drafted 9. Some guy named Smith for da Saints, 17, waiver wire, but sitting on the bench. Could have been the difference in a close, if boooooooorrrrrriiiinnnnggggg game😂. Making waiver moves can go right or wrong we all know that. Playing a week by week roster can be exciting but most GMs who do it are “chasing the dragon”, and that bastard is hard to catch (just some advice that TBIAC gave this writer years ago. He also said “I’ve never liked Grider” but that’s a story for another day)…. DSVP got 12 from Matty Ice, Kamara 17 (should be injured any time now), the Cheetah 12 ( should be in jail any time now) and Carson back from an knee injury with a big 22. 13 points left on the bench with Singletary but it wasn’t needed as the newbie continues the search for the right lineup.

Big Diesel continues plowing over his opponents. This weeks casualty was thneBiz, 114-70. Rrrraaaawwwwwwwdddddjjjjaaaaasssss 29, Kittle 24 and Diggs 11. OBJ blew up the ‘Boys, if you watched that train wreck of a game. Biz dropped his 4th in a row and here is why. Kerryon zero, Gallup 2, J Elliot 5 and Ertz with another stinker of a game, 2. Drafting 18 Philly Eagles may have been a mistake for the country crooner, just sayin…

Another example of wrong team wrong week. TBIAC 120-93 over Pigg. Nice game from Pigg (should have played IamBetter, just sayin) Mahomie 19, AJones 17, CeeDee 19 and some guy who plays for the Washington team of footballness, A Gibson 19. Edelman, Gronkowski, and Henderson all showed up late and hungover, scoring a combined 8. TBIAC, as usual, showed up ready to play. Russ only had 20, but Melvin Gordon appeared from nowhere with 23. ARob 16, Rams D 12 and Joe freaking Mixon had one of his 3 good games this season, rushing for 36 monster points. Good game from Pigg, bad luck running into the Mixon freight train this week.

In the first, but not last battle between 2 FFL heavyweights, Grider versus Cats. Lots of bad blood between these two ever since the “TBIAC I never liked Grider story” (for a later time). As usual this was a slugfest. The winner had one thing the loser didn’t. A point. One damn point. It all came down to Monday Night Football, a Corona virus double header, with Grider up 9 and Travis Kelce and the Cats down 9 and playing Crosby at K, CEH at RB and the #1 scoring WR in all FFL, Calvin Ripley. Seemed like another easy W for the Leagues favorite team. Kelce caught 7, countered by CEH’s 8. Crosby kicked in 7. Down 1 for the Cats. Calvin Ridley, final stats 5 targets, 0 catches, 0 yards, 0 points. Grider wins 97-96. Fun game. Proof no lead is safe and no deficit is insurmountable (unless your DSVP). And another case of Grider paying off the refs, or ESPN or someone. This rematch should be fun!!!

-side note, Grider’s landscaper keeps his job another week with the W, so that’s good.

In the finale, DFUN fought New Tanner for the lead in the Sacko playoffs. It was actually a great game, I know, it surprised me too! Leads evaporated, big scores, disappointment, sadness, tears, joy, happiness….this game had it ALL! In reality it was as exciting as two team fighting for the Sacko can be😂. It looked like a New Tanner blowout going into MNF, but between these two teams, anyone can lose at any time. New Tanner had a yyyyyuuuuuugggggeeeee 37 from Dak, 12 from Zeke and whoever R Jones III is, Mike Evans grabbed 18 and Kicker Bullock booted in 17. So a 12 point lead going into Monday for Steph. The GOAT tossed 32, defying Father Time. Mike Davis ran for 16, defying a lack of talent. Kupp with 12 despite being a white WR. Dalton Schultz snagged 13 for the ‘Boys and the Philly D got 14 despite being terrible. So it all came down to the Gurley-man. ESPN projected him to fall down and hurt his knee, or ankle or labrum. Instead he ran for all of 57 yds….And 2 TDS. 17 points. DFUN wins, something that isn’t written or read often. New Tanner loses 116-111, something written and read often. Great game from both clubs. Another case of wrong team on the wrong week.

Some dramatic loses and wins, some booooooooring games, some ‘Rona fun. Week 4 was exciting, week 5 should be even better! Next week we will break down the numbers behind the scoreboard and see who is lucky, who is prepared and who is doomed to be in the Sacko-Bowl. Stay tuned, “This IS Serious Business”!

Final words for the week, from DSVP’s new QB. I think we can all learn something from this gentleman…