Week 2 is over and we all have many questions to answer.  Was drafting 8 WRs a good idea? (no) What happens when I break my #1 overall pick? (fire-sale)  Will some new guy actually win this thing? (no)  Who will face DSVP in the Sacko Bowl? (many options).  Why do we even play TE’s? (no idea).  Will anyone break the ice and draft Kaepernick? (DDP)  What we do know is that its only week 2.  There will be many more weeks of injuries and bye weeks and mannnnnnyyyy bad start/sit decisions.  So keep away from the waiver wires, only accept trades from reputable teams (Cats) and always keep at least 3 K on your roster.  You’ll thank me later for that lil tip later!
    

On to the action…..
     Capt v LO.  After a heartbreaking week 1 loss, LO came out swinging her tiny little fists of fury and caught the Capt square on his perfectly chiseled chin. LO 89-72 victory.  Brady’s perfectly inflated balls went for 29 against the tough NO D (not a type-o, New Orleans D suuuucks),  Beast Mode with 10 and Jacquizz Rodgers 12, K Bryant with a huge 14.  Downside- Trabtree vultured the CRAP out of Cooper (3 pts) and Jordy went down early with an injury.  A weak bench for last years runner up could spell trouble if any injuries turn serious.  Capt had good games from Gordon 13, Gillislee (again) 12 and Evans 15.  Golden Taint 2, Graham scored 0 but hurt himself and  DeSean Jackson, 3, sealed the loss.  Big time waiver wire pickup Golladay sat the bench, luckily, with a 0. Buck Allen had a big day with 15 while watching from the sidelines next to  Colby Fleeners 9.  Next week TBIAC takes on the Yankee newcomer Bizness and LO is at home against the other FNG, Briskets.

     DFUN at Team Grider.  Was DFUNs 116pt week 1 a fluke or has the perennial Sacko participant turned the corner?  Was Grider’s week 1 total of 64 an indication of his FFL demise?  Final score 109-81 Grider wins.  DFUN’s RBs both looked good again with 12 and 22, a booming day for Kicker Boswell 16 and a TE actually didn’t suck, Ertz with 9.  Rams D looked like the Rams O and scored 1, Thomas only 7 and Diggs, a week 1 darling, fell back to earth with 2.  Howard blew a shoulder and left the game with a big fat zero.  Unfortunately for the DFUN CJ Anderson was watching this beat down from the pine with his 26 points.  Grider, fresh off of his vacation throwing rescues animals off of bridges, had 22 from Brees and 21 from Freeman.  Gronk caught 17 and and STD, (oops, meant injury) shocker.! The “over the hill gang” Gore, Forte and Marshall combined for 19 while sitting on the sidelines drinking Metamucil and complaining about “these damn snowflakes”.  Soooooo, the questions above are not answered.  The upcoming weeks may start to clear the fog, and the Big Boys will start to rise above.  Who will it be? (not DFUN)

     In a potential Sacko showdown (any game against DSVP is potential Sacko showdown) the Pugs took on the Yankee oppressor Team Pigg.  In what eye-witness accounts said was the  “worst FFL game they have ever seen, since last time DSVP played Pigg “, little else needs said.  Pigg 85-52. And before you ask DSVP actually had “players” in each position.  Dak led the 52 point charge with 15, West 10 and Adams 15.  Pats D a -2, zero at TE (why are we forced to play these bastards!) and 3 from Cooks was enough for even Team Pigg to eke out a W.  Dez had 14 (Pigg needs more Cowboys) 16 from Kelce (TE are awesome) and 17 from the RB position put Trey in the hunt for mediocrity. Note- Chris Thompson sat the pine with 21, but nobody cares in this sham of a FFL game! They should both be ashamed!  Next loss for DSVP is Grider and Pigg takes on DDP

Cats take on Hungry Briskets in a Shiva prelim.  Cats fail miserably 110-85.  Zeke, fighting the NFL to continue to play……forgot to play. Score 1.  Jags D, -1.  Wasted- Hunt’s 22 and Fournette’s 12 and the surprisingly uninjured Alshon’s 15.  Derrick Henry’s 15 sitting on the bench (Murray is done, trade offers should be rolling in anytime) and Texans D with 10 watched this beat down of the 2 time champ from the newbie.  For the Briskets, the resurgent Girley had 22 and the above mentioned TD vulture Trabtree with 26 along with M Bryant’s 15 was just too much for the poor lil Cats.  Briskets is the only undefeated team so far and looks to be the real deal (as far as week 2 goes that is).  Side note- Briskets bench consists of an OUT, two Questionables and a Doubtful.  (may want to think trade, just sayin).  Next week Briskets look to continue the streak against LO and Cats cat fight DFUN.

And in the nightcap, DFUN’s Donut Puncher (surprisingly the Commish, DFUN, hasn’t had “time” to change TSMYTDs name yet) vs Bizness.  Bizness on top 85-72.  All 8 WR’s came together and played a great game.  Not really, only 3 started and they combined for 18. But the Carolina D tossed in 12 and Hyde (another shocker) ran for 13.  DDP is still carrying a IR player on the bench so his Sacko bowl rematch with DSVP looks like a lock early on.  Rrrrrrraaaawwwwdddjjjjaaaass and Julio Jones had a combined 27 and Hogan and Delanie with 23 total was enough to finish of the Donut Punchers.  Neither had much on the bench and need to look for some trade options (Cats).

   
Soooo, we are two games in.  We’ve had injuries (DJohnson), we’ve had bad decisions (all of us), we’ve had trade offers refused ( you know who you are).  Too early to tell but early enough to fix some problems, so make sure to not look at waivers, don’t research injuries, only accept trades from the Cats, and never, ever, trust the internet (except for hillaryisacrook.com, its legit!).  – paid for by the Trump 2020 campaign

Week 1.  Many questions to answer.  Many players to sift through.  Waiver wires.  Injuries. DFUN’s Donut Puncher’s taking ALL the WR’s in the draft.  So many questions.  So few FFL weeks.  Lets get to it then….

In a rematch of the 2016-2017 Championship game, Laces Out, or LO for you new guys, takes on the Lil d Ceiling Cats.  Better game, same result.  Cats victorious 91-88.  Mariota 18, Fournette 18, Zeke 13, Hopkins 11, Cook 13.  Unfortunately, Hunt 39 and Jags 29(defense, you’ll soon see the trend) riding the pine.  For LO, Brady floundered around for 10, Jordy 13 and Coop 12.  Steelers D 19 (hence the title of this week, to be continued).  Monday Night Football was the capper for this epic clash of FFL titans!  LO with a TE and a WR to play and tied with the Cats who only had a rookie (shocking) RB to go.  Rudolph and Sanders 10 pts combined.  Cook 13. Boom goes the dynamite. Next week the Lil d Ceiling Cats take on Big D in a battle of D’s…. or d’s……or something.  LO moves on to play the always dangerous Cheaters.

In this years first “Ffffaaaammmiiilllyyyy Fffuuuueeeeddd” (editors note- this is going to get tiresome.  2 Brothers, the Cheaters and Big D.  Bro-Sis in Dfun Donut Puncher and Ceiling Cats.  Some kind of Yankee Bro-Bro-Sis triumvirate in DFUN, Pigg and Bizness.  Should make Holidays that much more fun!)  Pigg v DFUN.  Not even close.  116-80.  I looked it up to make sure, 116 points is 2 less than DFUNs complete 2016 season totals.  I did. Really. Look it up your self.   Pigg had no one but Matty Ice since Bell was working off his all you can eat Sizzler buffett.  At least the Ravens, 22, came to play. (more D).  Nothing on Piggs bench would have gotten this one close.  DFUN had a UUUUUUUUGGGGGGEEEEEE game from Stafford, 26, and Diggs, 21 and 29 from the RAMs D. (D)  Montgomery, 14 and Blount 10 on the bench kept this one from being even uglier!  DFUN v Grider in Week 2 and Pigg v DSVP in one of the few games without relatives fighting for their respective parents love.

TBIAC or again, for the new guys, Tom Brady is a Cheater or more often Capt, took on the newly renamed DFUN’s Donut Puncher. (any confusion regarding the name will be cleared up by Google and this writers hatred of the Commish). DDP brought all 8 WR’s to the battlefield but could only play 3, hence the loss 75-98 to the Capt.  The 15th round QB Taylor threw down 17, AB with 18, his normal, and 10 for the Bills….. you guessed it, Defense.   Nothing spectacular from the horribly unspectacular RB’s and nothing from the bench.  The Capt, on the other hand, got the Gillislee he wanted and the 22 points he desired.  17 from old man Rivers, 13 from Gordon (still don’t believe in him) 15 from a WHITE WR? Crazy!  Evans was benched due to a Hurricane (Grider may or may not have been responsible for this one too) and a slew of SSPD players watched from the sideline in this sad week 1 matchup.  Next up- Capt v LO and DFUN’s Donut Puncher takes it from behind from new guy Team Bizness.

In a battle that we are all sure too see again in the Sacko-Bowl, DSVP took on the new Yankee in our midst, Team Bizness.  What a barn-burner this one was. Down to the last second! Kidding. 69-67 DSVP wins the worst game of the week.  Lucky for him he still has David Johnson, the number 1 pick in the entire draft, the most dominate player the last two years in all FFL, the two time defending champion with the Cats. Or not. Out with a broken wrist.  Thanks for breaking DJ, Jerk! A breakout by Hooper with 18 (count on that every week!) and West with 14 was enough for the W.  Strangley the Pats D only got -4 (remember Defense Wins Championships, Plumber Boy).  Hill on the bench with 19 would have helped but was unnecessary to beat someone who scored 67 total points.  Bizness called on Rrrrraaaawwwwddddjjjjaaas and he started slow as usual with 16.   Only the Panthers D got double digits, 14 (defense).   The 13 sitting on the pine with Stewart would have sealed this opening day victory, if he had actually played, that is.   DSVP take on Pigg at home will Biz welcomes DDP next week.

     The 2017-2018 “This is Serious Business” league draft was once again held at Two Charlies, the local FFL hangout.  Once again Grider didn’t show.  At least this time his excuse was believable.  He was kicking poor, Hurricane battered Houstonians out of there soggy third world dwellings, or as Nathan called it….. Vacation.  Once again, a very poor turnout for the draft.  Is it because everyone was busy?  Or are they all tired of watching the Ceiling Cats hand the trophy over to the Ceiling Cats?  Or is DSVP just that off-putting?  Once again, our Commish let us down horribly.  Botching the 8 to 10 team vote, COLLUDING again on the Keepers vote, punishing good teams with his Communistic draft lottery and worst of all……… the Sacko is stuck in some storage pod.  Yes, you heard that.  The greatest trophy since the Coney Island Mustard Yellow Belt is stuck in a storage pod.  That is in clear VIOLATION of “This is Serious Business” bylaws that state the Sacko must be in a visible area in the losers home at all times.  Something must be DONE about this atrocitiy.  Once again, the trophy handed to the Ceiling Cats  (by the Ceiling Cats, if you missed this info earlier) and once again, the Sacko champ being renamed.  Team Show Me Yo TD’s will be called DFUN’s Donut Puncher for the rest of the season.  DFUN is back to DFUN after spending a year as Griders Power Bottom.  For the first time in our illustrious history, we’ve grown to 10 teams.  Big D Hungry Briskets and Team Bizness.  (neither showed up for the draft).

Five years of the “Lucky Bastard”