Month: September 2016

Week 2, or the " The Power Bottoms go down again"

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    Week 2 came and went, some wins, some losses, some injuries, some trades.  Otherwise known as another week in the FFL.  Hopefully you don’t have AP (TGPBs), or muscle hamer (Capt),  Danny Woodhead (who the f has him?)  or Ameer Abdullah (huge loss), or any defense playing the Patriots!  In  the “This is Serious” league the GM must me ready to make moves or become the “Sacko”.

     Let’s get through the blowout of the week….. A Super Bowl rematch between the defending champ Cats and the former defending champs and draft no-show, Team Grider. Final score. 120-77. Sad. This used to be a marquee matchup- game of the week- must see tv. Lately, not so much. Just Team Grider losses. Someone’s gonna get fired!!  But lets not bury Team Grider just yet, he has always been a dangerous team, especially when on “the bottom”.

     LO v TGPBs. Playoff contender vs Sacko. -6 pt fav. 117- 82 final. LO goes to 1-1, commish to 0-2. Maybe a good sign after TGPBs 4-0 start last year! Probably not. LO rolls on despite QB Wilson hurt and only scoring 11.  But the ol man Forte went for 100yds and 3 TDs and 28pts. Hopkins tossed in 17 and Blount 18 despite the fact that he should be in jail. Trust me, that guy has committed crimes, we just havent busted him yet.  The Power Bottoms could have helped themselves by benching AP (should have known he’d get hurt) and Watkins (should have known he’d get hurt) and thier combined 1pt. Bernard’s  15pts, and T Benjamin, 23pts, watched the Commish go to 0-2.

TSMYTDs v DSVP.  These guys HATE each other, and it showed in this dogfight!!
TSMYTDs  choice of DeMarco Murray (and a few other picks) was scoffed at by Team Griders group of draft experts.  DeMarco goes for 13pts and another Grider draft expert was fired.  16 from Julio and Dez finally did something, 10pts, and the Panthers D with 14 for a total of 80. Which usually means you got beat down, or its mid-season and you’ve got byes and injuries.  This is week two sooooooooooooooo…. but his opponent is DSVP, so lets see how it went down!!  29 from Cam and 22 from K Benjamin take the W 88-80.  TSMYTDS left Ryan Matthews 2 TDs on the bench for J. Stewarts 0pts (should have known he would get injured) and Mike Wallace’s 16 over DeSean jackson 4 ( should have know he would suck agains the amazing Cowboy D!).  Pugs missed the one chance to start a Browns player this season (until Josh Gordon gets back) by leaving I Crowell and his 20pts watching from the sidelines.  Looks like DSVP bagged another valuable win!
And in the finale, TBIAC v Team Pigg.  For once, ESPN almost had this one picked correctly (see Cats v Grider, 3.4 spread, 43 point blowout!) at 4.4 spread. Glass wins 84-79 to go to 2-0 despite the lack of good players or coaches.  Pigg got gut-punched by Carlos Hydes 2 pts and Crosby’s 2 extra points.  Deckers 18 on the bench would have been the difference maker over Cooks 6.  But, as we all know,that is how the FFL go……. (I detect foreshadowing).
So that puts TBIAC and Cats at 2-0, Grider, Pigg, LO and DSVP at 1-1 and literally at the “BOTTOMS” is the Power Bottoms and TSMYTDs at 0-2.  Dont worry though, there is plenty of FFL to be FFL’ed.  The Bottoms started last season at 4-0 (not sure if i’d noted that anywhere?) and won the Sacko, and the Cats were 0-3 and now how a 4 foot monstrosity with plastic dicks in my office! (it is truly Maginificent!!)  So, keep playing, keep trading, keep doing the homework.  Injuries will obviously start to play a major role in the season as will the dreaded bye weeks to come. Till next time……

The Draft, Week One and a Grider no-show

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     The 2016-2017 Draft went off beautifully! The free taco bar and the drinks flowed like wine, where beautiful FFL draft picks instinctively flocked like the salmon of Capistrano! I’m taking about a little place called…….Denton. Team Pigg lives in Yankee-land, Taco was taking a much needed vaca and the rest of the league was at II Charlie’s…….. Except Team Grider.  Where was he? Working?  Out of town? Did he rsvp not coming? No no no no no.  He was in his penthouse/underground lair, surrounded by his FFL support staff and minions and most importantly…. His paid group of draft experts.  Year after year after year, a new excuse comes up on why Team Grider missed the group draft; work, diarrhea, traveling, explosive diarrhea, electrocution.  We’ve heard all the excuses.  When will the “current” Commisioner stand up to this tyrant and say “No”.  No more drafting in Jerry Jones war room, no more team of experts, no more skipping out on the draft.  When will the newly named “Team Griders Power Bottom” stand up to Team Grider……. Uhhhmm okk, I guess that name kinda speaks for itself.  So, Nathan didn’t show but we had a great time and we unveiled the “The Sacko” and began the 2016-2017 FFL season!  Good luck to all……. for second place!

Week One or “the Reckoning”
     As the last place finisher of the losers championship game, Team DFUN was the winner….. Loser… Champ?… Whatever, he was last place, the absolute loser of the league (don’t forget 4-0 start) and won/lost the “The Sacko” and a new name.  The newly minted TGPBs started week one with the defending champs, the Cats. LOSS. 100-75. Maybe it’s a good sign for the commish to start out on a losing streak this year. Or not….

     In a playoff rematch from last season, Team Grider actually showed up to play Laces Out! All I can say is Grider seems to have gotten his $$ worth from the FFL experts who drafted his team. CJ Anderson (25pts – equaling his entire 2016 total) actually scores points?? Who knew this was possible?  Number 1 RB Todd Gurley had a tough start with 4pts, but that will clearly be an aberation, right? Raaaawwwwddddjjjjaaaasss looked good with 22, and AJ Green got 24, which will be his weekly average for the season….gauranteed! LO was balanced but boring. A handful of double digits games and a couple of stinkers just couldn’t put her on top of Grider this week. 121-86
     Pigg v DSVP. The Yankee (auto draft) came out swinging in week one! Palmer 18, Elliot 11, Hyde 20, Cooks 27, Evans 15! 109 total. Big week for Pigg! DSVP had good games from Cam, keeper Lamar Miller and his K and no one else.  With a talented roster and a seemingly renewed vigor for the game, can DSVP launch himself back into FFL legitimacy?  Will Pigg make the winners bracket for the first time and break the “Southern” stranglehold on the the “Lucky Bastard”? Probably neither. But it’s week one so hope is still alive! For now.
   And in this weeks throwdown, TBIAC v TSMYTDs!  Luck went for 35, and D Bailey 17 ( this should be a regular occurrence with the Jason Garrett offense) wasn’t enough to take out the talented but snake-bit Capt!  Bree’s countered with 30, the amazing Antonio B with 24 and a solid D was enough to take the W and move on to Week 2!
   Sorry for the short version, been a busy couple of weeks putting together a repeat Championship team and all the other stuff (work, work, napping, drinking, napping, working… You get the picture…. I’ve been busy)! Thanks to everyone who came to the draft that was physically able to (everyone but Nate) and a special thanks to owners Hallie and Courtney for putting together the draft party without a single bit of help from the Commish! And to the Cats head coach for scouring BOTH downtown mini-malls for the new Sacko Award. More next week!